Down the Road
by Ellemae
Summary: Castle and Beckett are drifting apart, but will a sudden accident bring them back together? Told from both Castle and Beckett's perspectives. Picks up at 4x20. Lots of Caskett. M for future potential. *Now Complete*
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, but believe me I wish they did…

**Down the Road**

Chapter One

Kate Beckett was not one to complain. She had endured the macho teasing and sexist overtures at the Police Academy, the intrusion of a new Captain into her life, and hell, even months of pain from a bullet that had nearly killed her. But as she watched her partner clamber out of his red sports car, casually handing his keys to the blonde with smudged lipstick, all she could think of doing was complaining.

She quickly glanced at Lanie, who was standing behind her putting on latex gloves. Lanie gave her a little shrug and a quirk of a smile. Kate ground her teeth slightly as she looked away, knowing immediately that Lanie was thinking, "I told you so".

Lanie was right of course...she had told her. Numerous times in fact. She'd insinuated that Kate had feelings for the writer early on, and recently she'd left insinuation behind. Trying to keep her mind off of the image of Richard Castle that was currently in front of her, the image that was giving the blonde a kiss that seemed to involve way too much tongue, Kate shuddered slightly and squinted her eyes, remembering the conversation that she'd had with Lanie hours early.

Lanie leaned over the corpse momentarily distracted from the task that lay in front of her. It could get a little lonely in the morgue and she loved it when Beckett came and visited. Grinning suddenly she had to admit that sometimes she even called the detective downstairs to report evidence when a simple faxed lab report would have sufficed. She valued her friendship with Kate because it was something that was given so carefully. She knew that it had taken years for Kate to trust her fully and that their friendship was no longer just based on a shared need for justice but also on something deeper. Because of the years she had spent developing a friendship with Kate she could easily tell that this was not a work-related visit. For one thing, Kate was looking everywhere except into Lanie's eyes. She had glanced at the door, the ceiling, the floor, and was now intently staring at the corpse on the table in front of her. The fact that the body was incredibly decomposed (to the point that Lanie herself had contemplated putting Vicks under her nose-something that rookie MEs occasionally did) and that Kate had been staring at it without a change in expression, not even a blink of disgust, let Lanie know that her thoughts were not on this victim.

"Katteee..." Lanie dragged out the name, hoping to get a reaction.

Beckett looked up absentmindedly, "Yes?"

"Did you have a reason for coming down here and disturbing my work? Cause as much as I love you girl, I'm kinda in the middle of something here," Lanie gestured toward the corpse that Kate apparently found so fascinating.

"What? Oh yeah, sorry," Kate shrugged and actually turned to walk out of the morgue.

"Katherine Beckett!" Lanie screeched, "you get your butt back over here this instant. Jesus girl, what is up with you?"

Kate again stared into space, this time finding a particularly fascinating mark on the wall. "Well," she said hesitantly "you know Castle?"

Lanie quickly raised a gloved hand to hide a smirk, "Uh huh" she nodded.

"Well, I, it's just..." Kate didn't seem to know where to go from there, "I'm well, I'm-"

"Desperately in love with him?" Lanie interrupted.

"No!" Kate met Lanie's eyes for the first time, "Well, that is, I think I might...like him".

Lanie gave a snort of laughter. "Understatement of the century!" she shrieked.

Suddenly Kate grinned, "Yeah, okay, maybe I like him a lot then".

Lanie just looked at her friend and shook her head smiling.

Kate suddenly looked despondent as the smile left her face, "It's just...I thought he felt the same way about me. I thought he...but he's not interested in me anymore. Maybe he never was".

Lanie gave a snort of laughter, "Honey, you know that he's had a thing for you for years. Come on girl, get it together, of course he's interested!"

Kate shrugged and stared again at the wall, "Maybe he was, but I think I'm too late or something. I don't think he feels that way anymore. I just don't know why."

Lanie suddenly looked serious, "The boys did say he seemed a little off lately. Maybe you should just talk to him, ask him what's up".

Kate once again shrugged, "I tried. He said everything's fine".

Lanie stared at her friend and said, "And where have I heard that line before?"

Another shrug.

"Kate," Lanie continued, "there's only so much that can be learned when you ask him indirect questions. You have to ask him outright. Tell him how you feel, take the plunge, maybe they'll be an awesome payout at the end".

Kate shuddered, "Or maybe I'll open myself up to him and then lose him completely".

"Maybe, but if you don't tell him soon I think you might lose him anyway".

"Beckett?" She heard her name shouted in an all too familiar voice. Normally it stirred something in her-excitement and pleasure. Not necessarily anything sexual, just a glimmer of joy that someone could be so eager to get her attention. Tonight though the sound of his voice only drove home how much she had lost. She knew she'd never really been able to lay a claim to Richard Castle, but he had felt like he belonged to her all the same. But in the last few weeks she had begun to miss him as he spent more and more time away from her. He had shadowed another cop for goodness sake! She briefly flashed back to how upset he had been when she had briefly allowed another writer to shadow her. He had openly admitted jealously, and she had promised that she would be a "one writer girl". Hell, when she'd said it she'd already meant it in more ways than one, she knew that now. But apparently he hadn't gotten the memo, because he wasn't returning the favor. He wasn't a one cop guy. Even Ryan and Esposito had noticed that he'd seemed thrilled to work with Slaughter.

"Beckett!"

Hearing him shout her name again she pulled herself away from her memories and back to the present. She turned toward the sound of his voice and walked with a purpose to the crime scene. They had a case, and at least that was something she could solve.

* * *

Castle stared at Beckett curiously as she joined him crouching down beside the corpse. He'd made a job of studying her habits, and he could tell something was off. _"No,"_ he mentally scolded himself, "_you cannot worry about her. You're trying to get some distance, to distract yourself, to get out of this messy one-way love scenario"._

He'd talked to his mother about Beckett again the night before, because for some reason he always went to his mother about Kate. He didn't know why really...he'd never asked her for advice with Meredith or Gina. With his other wives (he cringed slightly because he'd just allowed himself to remember his dreams of one day marrying Kate)….he mentally corrected himself, with his two marriages (that was better) he'd never asked his mother's advice. Of course, considering how those unions had ended maybe he should have. It was just that Kate was so infuriating and his feelings for her so strong that he had to talk to someone about it. He knew that if he couldn't tell her, which he obviously couldn't-he'd tried once, and look how well that had turned out-he'd had to vent to someone. The fact that his mother was the only other adult that he lived with had made her his confidant. Feeling a little embarrassed Castle remembered that he'd even vented to Alexis on occasion. But no. He was done with that. Beckett was not going to ever be with him, he knew that now.

He'd recently learned that she'd heard his admission of love a year earlier and had chosen to ignore it. He supposed she'd wanted to protect him in some way, so maybe at least she felt vague friendship toward him. But no! How could she even feel that if she had let him walk around believing that there was a chance that they would get together when they never would! It must have been pity, and some sort of duty that had her keep him around. He had saved her life on a few occasions, they both knew that was the truth, and maybe she felt like she couldn't just tell him to get out when he'd done something like that. Ugh! He didn't know what to think, except that all of this thinking wasn't working for him anymore. Standing suddenly, he walked away briskly. He couldn't be near her! It was all too much; her lying, her lack of feelings toward him, how sorry she must feel for him (if she felt anything at all).

* * *

Beckett had been listening as Ryan filled her in on the crime scene, but part of her always knew where Castle was, so she immediately noticed when he abruptly stood. Ryan continued talking, seemingly oblivious as Castle walked away from the crime scene. Beckett's eyes followed him, startled to see that he almost looked as though he was going to break into a jog.

Ryan continued as though nothing was happening, "We found a couple of cigarettes over there," he gestured toward a nearby dumpster "and they were all kind of grouped together. We think it's possible that someone was smoking as he waited for the victim to approach. It's just a wild theory of course, but what else has Castle taught us?" Ryan looked at Beckett and grinned.

She stared back at him for a moment before realizing that he was waiting for her reply. "Right" she plastered a fake smile on her face.

"Huh," said Ryan, looking around, "Where did Castle go anyway?"

* * *

Once he had gotten away from the crime scene Castle kept walking. He didn't have his car; the woman who he'd been trying to use as a Beckett-distraction (rather poorly, obviously) had driven off with it after dropping it off. He knew Jacinda could be trusted with it. He'd met her over the weekend flying back from Vegas (another Beckett-distraction that had failed miserably). Jacinda was actually a perfectly nice woman, not terribly intelligent, but by no means dumb either. She was even pretty funny and good in bed. The problem was that whenever she said something or did something he immediately compared her to Beckett. He was trying to use her to help forget, and all she did was drive home that he wasn't with the woman that he wanted.

* * *

Beckett finished listening to Ryan's theories and nodded in agreement. "That sounds great, I really think you've got it under control".

Ryan looked surprised, "Thanks," he said hesitantly. He was surprised that Beckett wasn't more eager to jump into the case. Normally, even when his suggestions were good ones, she at the very least made minor suggestions. Hell, most of the time she took over. It was the group dynamic they had; she always took lead. But now she seemed to be willing to let him do the work. He didn't mind at all, he just didn't get it. "Um, Beckett?"

"Yeah?" Kate looked up, a slightly glazed look on her face.

"Are you feeling all right?"

"Yes! I mean, I'm just tired. Tough night."

"Oh," Ryan smiled at her, "why don't you take off then? I'll get them to run ballistics and check DNA on the cigarettes. Not much else can be done today anyway".

"Thanks Ryan," Kate gave her first genuine smile of the day, "I'll see you tomorrow".

"Sounds good!" Ryan called after her as she briskly walked towards her car. Fishing his phone out of his pocket he shot a quick text to Esposito: _Dude, I don't know what's up with Beckett, but Castle sure left in a hurry. _Moments later Espo responded: _Mom and Dad STILL fighting, huh? _

* * *

Back in her apartment Kate shrugged her way out of her leather jacket and threw it on the floor. Removing the rest of her clothes and climbing into the bath she looked down at it. It was a black one that hugged her in all the right places, and she had worn it on purpose in the hopes of getting a reaction out of Castle. A glance or some sly innuendo, or some hint that their relationship was still intact. She had worn it months earlier and she knew he had liked it on her. He'd stared at her in that way that she had once found creepy, but now would have found reassuring. She had felt his eyes appreciating the way the jacket accentuated her curves and she had felt a little rush of pleasure. Tonight there had been no reaction. She might as well have been wearing a sheet. God, he probably wouldn't have noticed if she was completely naked!

The thought of being naked in front of Castle, being naked with Castle, distracted her. She didn't know when she'd stopped finding him insufferably annoying and started wanting him instead. It had almost happened over night, the switch from liking him as a friend to wanting him in her bed. Actually, Kate let her mind drift before she could stop herself, it had literally happened over night. She'd woken up in the middle of the night from a rather arousing dream and found herself wet with wanting him. God, she just wanted him! Even now, even when he'd hurt her by investigating a case with Slaughter, and kissed another woman in front of her, and stormed away from their crime scene without a backward glance she wanted him. Groaning slightly Kate tried to distract herself from her own desire, the fact that she was naked wasn't helping matters.

She stood up from the bath and rubbed a towel quickly over her body, purposefully ignoring the fact that she wasn't just wet from the water. But she couldn't stop thinking about him. Because the way he'd left the crime scene was just too bizarre. Maybe he'd gotten a phone call? Thinking back, she couldn't remember his phone buzzing, but maybe it had? Yes. That must be it. She breathed a sigh of relief. He must have gotten a text or something, maybe the bimbo had told him that she was around the corner waiting to pick him up. Her heart sank at the thought of that, but she knew it must be what had happened. Why else would he have left so abruptly without bothering to tell her? She rubbed her hair through the towel harder then necessary to try and get crude images out of her head. This was getting ridiculous.

* * *

Castle scuffed his feet as he walked along. He was still fuming, the walk doing little to calm him down. He just needed to get away from it, to get away from her! He knew it wasn't working. None of it was working. The trip to Vegas, the binge drinking, the mindless sex, none of it made him forget her at all. She was always with him, always present in his mind. He desperately wanted to forget her. This pain, the feeling of unfulfilled desire that was constant in his heart, was unbearable. He knew it was ridiculous, but it had almost been better while she was still with Josh. Because when she was dating someone who she seemed serious about (and Kate always seemed serious about the men she dated) it had been easier to feel that he had come late to the game. That he didn't get the girl because he hadn't put himself in the running. But now he knew that was all a lie, that he'd been lying to himself for years.

No! That she'd been lying to him for years! Because he knew Kate Beckett was an intelligent woman, it was one of the things he loved about her, the way that her mind was always able to catch up to his. The way they were able to build theory together because she could follow the seemingly unconnected leaps that he made. Someone that intelligent could not misinterpret all of the innuendo. Could not miss his true feelings. Hell, even if she had somehow managed to miss it all (which he thought was frankly impossible) he knew now that she had heard him say "I love you". He knew now that she had lied about hearing it. He moaned out loud and then screamed "Fuck!" as loudly as possible. He was alone on the road now, walking along the edge of a highway that led to God knows where. It was dark too, not even stars lit his path. He was so frustrated, so annoyed, that tears began to well up in his eyes. He was so angry, so...he didn't even have the words. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a car throttled around the bend. The driver was easily going 90 miles an hour, and he lost control as he took the steep curve. Castle, so caught up in his thoughts, had no time to react as the car veered off the shoulder of the road and slammed into him. He lost consciousness instantly.

* * *

_AN: This is the first thing I've ever written, so please review! I'd love any and all advice. Also, don't worry this is not going to be a snuff story, I promise!_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, but my birthday's coming up if anyone wants to give them to me for good…

Chapter Two

There was that beeping again. A slow, steady, increasingly irritating beeping. Thinking it was an alarm clock, Castle reached out his hand to hit snooze. He was so tired and it just kept beeping! He waved his arm around again, but seemed unable to find the bedside table. Groaning he slowly opened his eyes, shocked by the bright fluorescents. He wasn't in his bed. He looked around, confused. His mind felt fuzzy and he couldn't figure out where he was. He realized that he hurt, that everything hurt. The light was too bright, and his head hurt, and his body ached. Castle suddenly became aware of a body curled up next to his, sleeping pressed firmly against his side. "Kate?" he groaned, finding it hard to even say the word. The body next to him stiffened suddenly, sitting up immediately in the bed.

"Dad!?" his daughter said with concern, her voiced tinged with anxiety.

"Alexis," he stated, finding himself suddenly exhausted by the exertion of saying her name.

"Oh Dad! I'm so glad you're awake," his daughter continued.

"What...?" he whispered. He tried to continue but grimaced in pain instead. God it hurt! Alexis gazed at him with concern and as he met her eyes he tried to remove the look of pain from his face.

She clearly wasn't buying it as she scrunched up her nose and told him she'd call for the nurse. She hurriedly pushed the buzzer by the bed before turning back to face him, "What do you remember?"

He shook his head; he really couldn't remember much of anything. He realized suddenly that he must be in a hospital…that something bad must have happened.

Alexis continued, "Dad! A car hit you! I don't know why, but you were walking by the highway and I guess the driver just lost control of his car and hit you. He actually stayed though and called 911. Do you know how lucky you are? He could have just left you there!" Alexis suddenly lost it and began sobbing, tears running down her face.

He wanted to comfort her, to reach out and hold her, but he hurt so much he knew he couldn't even lift his arm.

Luckily the nurse entered the room, "Ah Mr. Castle, I see you're awake" she said jovially.

He just looked at her, even through his pain inwardly wishing that she wouldn't state the obvious. It was ridiculous. Clearly he was awake. In his normal state he would have made some witty comment or at least rolled his eyes at Kate, but he knew right now he couldn't do anything.

"Kate!" he moaned loudly, suddenly worried about where she was. Was she okay? Had she been hurt too? He couldn't remember. The nurse ignored him, clearly used to difficult patients, although Alexis gave him a look of concern as she dried her tears.

"Okay," the nurse said, as though speaking to a young child, "I've given you a dose of pain meds, you'll feel better in just a minute". Turning to address Alexis she continued, "Your father will probably fall asleep in a few minutes, I've given him a pretty high dose because of the extent of his injuries. He should sleep until morning. I'd highly recommend you go home and do the same. You can see him again first thing in the morning".

Alexis glanced down at her father, who had fallen asleep in the amount of time it had taken the nurse to explain all of this to her. "You're sure he'll be okay while I'm gone? I mean, you'll call me if there are any changes?"

The nurse nodded reassuring, "Of course we will. And the doctor will examine him again in the morning. He's pretty badly hurt, but it's not life-threatening. Right now the best thing you can do is let him get some sleep".

"Okay..." Alexis said hesitantly. She got out of the bed and leaned over to gently kiss her father goodnight. Leaving the room, glancing back to check on him one last time, she followed the nurse into the hallway. "I'll be back first thing in the morning" she promised.

"See you then!" responded the nurse, seemingly cheerful about everything.

* * *

Beckett grunted in annoyance as the morning light hit her face. Rolling over in bed she glanced at the clock on her bedside table. Five am. Counting backward quickly she realized she'd gotten about four hours of sleep. She groaned again and sat up quickly, turning off the alarm that was due to go off in five minutes time. _"What is wrong with me?"_ she mentally asked herself as she clambered out of the bed and headed toward the bathroom. Was she really that hung up on Castle that she couldn't even get a decent night's sleep? Not, she admitted to herself, that she'd ever been very good at sleeping anyway. But normally when she was stressed out with a case the adrenaline carried her through. Now there wasn't any adrenaline, just disappointment and…more disappointment. She was annoyed at Castle, but she was also annoyed at herself. As she climbed into her shower, letting the hot water hit her in the face, she tried to snap out of the mood she was in. Kate knew that she'd see Castle later that day, and she knew that mooning over him wasn't going to help the situation. She was strong, she knew that, she prided herself on it, and she'd just have to use that strength to get through the day.

As the water began to get cold Kate realized that she'd probably been in the shower for far too long. She abruptly turned off the water and got out, pausing in front of her mirror to wipe the condensation away. She looked at herself and said, _"Focus. You have a case to work on. Just focus on the case"._

* * *

Meanwhile, Alexis was hastily walking down the hospital corridor. She'd managed to get a little sleep but she was still worried about her dad. Going back to the loft alone had made her realize how much she needed him around. Her grandmother was away in the Catskills, working on some play or another, and Alexis wasn't sure how quickly she'd be able to get back into the city. She'd called Martha and told her what had happened, explaining that the doctors said her dad's condition wasn't too serious and promising to update her after they met with them again in the morning. And now morning was here!

Alexis barreled into her dad's room, running up to his bedside to stare down at him. Somehow, if it was even possible, he looked worse today. He was sleeping on his back, his mouth slightly open, which only accentuated the bruises that covered his face. Alexis reached up and gingerly traced the stitches on his scalp. They'd shaved part of his head, and she smiled for the first time that day, realizing how upset her dad would be when he noticed.

"Alexis?" Castle whispered his voice still hoarse.

"Hey Dad!" Alexis tried to put on a happy voice.

"Hey yourself," Castle grimaced as he tried to sit up in the bed.

"Take it easy, Mr. Castle" ordered the nurse as she entered the room pushing a cart.

"What…what exactly happened?" Castle looked confused again, "I know I was here yesterday, but I can't really…remember…how I got here".

"You got in an accident Dad!" Alexis interrupted.

"Yes," Castle smiled though it was quickly followed by another grimace, "I had managed to deduce that by myself".

"You were in a car accident," the nurse clarified.

"I was in a car accident?" Castle repeated, unable to remember being hit while driving his car.

The nurse continued, "Technically a car hit you".

"That is so typical," Castle sighed.

"Yeah Dad," Alexis grinned this time, "only you would be able to get in a car accident when you weren't even _in _a car".

* * *

"So," Esposito continued, gesturing toward the murder board, "the DNA on the cigarettes came back and the guy definitely has a record".

"A looong record," interjected Ryan.

"A sealed juvie record, plus more recent arrests for a bunch of B and Es," Esposito glanced at Beckett as he clarified.

She was staring at the murder board, but he had a sneaking suspicion that she wasn't really listening to him. She kept glancing sideways at the chair where Castle normally sat.

Esposito tried to get her attention, "Beckett?"

"Hmm?" She looked up, and quickly snapped to attention, "That's great Espo, good work, and you too Ryan".

"Thanks boss," Ryan grinned, but as Beckett glanced away again he raised an eyebrow at Esposito, clearly also noticing how distracted Kate had been all morning.

"So," Esposito cleared his throat, "Where is Castle this morning?"

Ryan chuckled, "Probably off gallivanting with that hot chick he was with the other day".

Beckett startled, her eyes quickly focusing on Ryan's face, before she just as quickly looked away. "I need coffee," she muttered, stalking away toward the break room.

"Really dude?" Esposito glared at Ryan.

* * *

The doctor glanced down at Richard Castle, shaking his head slightly. He had a sneaking suspicion that this was going to be a difficult patient.

So far Castle had adamantly refused all pain medication, despite the fact that he couldn't open his mouth without grimacing. He wanted to know what was going on and the pain meds dulled his senses and lulled him into a relaxed state that he felt was not at all helpful. The pain was intense, but he hated not knowing what was going on. He hated not being in the loop. It was just like when he was working a murder case with Beckett and she refused to—

"Beckett!" he suddenly yelped, interrupting the doctor who had been in the middle of explaining that Castle might well need surgery.

The doctor groaned inwardly, mainly because he had rounds to get to and he'd just realized that if his patient hadn't been listening he'd have to start all over again. It was difficult to get consent for a surgery when the patient wasn't aware that surgery was on the table.

"Mr. Castle", he glared at the man lying on the bed in front of him.

Castle was overwhelmed by the memories that were coming back. Memories of Kate ignoring his feelings for her, memories of his own love for her, memories of the loss that he had just remembered…he swallowed hard, willing himself not to burst into tears in front of the doctor. Drawing his last ounce of strength he turned his attention back toward the doctor.

"I'm sorry," Castle actually did look apologetic, "I wasn't listening before. Could you start over?"

Sighing, the doctor began again, "You're actually fairly lucky…"

Castle didn't feel very lucky. Didn't the doctor know that everything hurt?

"…the car was travelling at a high speed, but it clipped you instead of hitting you straight on".

Castle stared down at the bruises on his arms, suddenly realizing how narrowly he'd escaped. If this was what it felt like to be clipped by a car, he couldn't imagine the pain of really being hit by one.

"As you're probably figured out by now, you're badly bruised and your left arm is broken".

Castle attempted to nod in agreement, cutting the movement short as a shooting pain shot up his neck.

"We stitched you up in a couple of places, but our biggest concern right now is actually your spleen. We used to remove them immediately if they appeared damaged, but now we tend to wait and see if the bleeding will stop on it's own before we do surgery. Unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen here. We're going to have to do the surgery".

He paused, making sure that Castle had heard the information the second time around.

Castle groaned inwardly. He was already in so much pain he really couldn't even fathom letting them cut him open to remove an organ! He knew he was being a baby about this all, but he just wanted the pain to go away. He just wanted Beckett! Swallowing deeply, trying to get his breathing under control, he focused on the sharp pain in his ribs instead of the emotional pain that was rolling over him.

"We'll do the surgery in about an hour," the doctor stated, with a definitiveness that let Castle know it wasn't an option.

As the doctor stepped out of the room he greeted Alexis in the hallway, "Your father is going to need surgery to remove his spleen. It's a laparoscopic surgery though so that means—"

"I know what it means," Alexis interrupted, "I mean," she continued, slightly embarrassed at her rudeness, "I volunteer with a medical examiner so I know what a laparoscopic surgery is…it's minimally invasive, right?"

"Right," the doctor nodded, "it's fairly routine so your dad should be just fine".

"Thanks," Alexis nodded at the doctor as she turned to enter her dad's hospital room.

* * *

Beckett stared at the coffee in her hands, hastily blinking away tears. She'd gone to the break room because she needed to get away from the precinct's gazing eyes and her own team's innuendo. She knew it was all said in jest, but she was having trouble dealing with it all today. But she'd forgotten that the only reason to go into the break room was to get coffee. Since coffee was something that Castle typically brought her each morning, the warm cup in her hand only served to remind her that he wasn't there.

Where was he? She felt a sudden flash of annoyance. He didn't even have the decency to call and say he wasn't coming in? He always came in when they had an open homicide; didn't he know that they'd all be worried? No, she had to admit to herself, didn't he know that she'd be worried?

Growing increasingly irritated she yanked her cell phone out of her pant pocket. She didn't have any missed calls or texts. She paused for a moment, her finger hovering over speed dial. To hell with it, she wasn't going to call him whining like some lovesick teenager!

Beckett stuffed her phone back into her pocket as she stalked out of the break room and back toward her desk.

* * *

"Alexis!" Castle shrieked as she entered his hospital room.

Alexis approached his bed, wondering why her dad suddenly seemed so happy. He'd seemed pretty downtrodden since he'd entered the hospital. Just then her eye caught the nurse in the corner of the room. Alexis laughed softly as she looked down at her father.

He'd finally let the nurse give him some pain meds, and he was feeling pretty good if he did say so himself. He grinned wildly at Alexis. "Did you hear?!" he asked her, suddenly thrilled beyond belief. "I get to have sur-ger-y!"

Alexis just shook her head. Glancing down at her father she thought to herself, _"Is it weird that this behavior seems completely normal to me?"_

* * *

_AN: Thanks for the reviews! Nedra1212 I agree cliff hangers are irritating, but sadly impossible to avoid :) _


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: These characters still don't belong to me, I must be doing something wrong!

_Previously on 'Down the Road': _

_Castle had finally let the nurse give him some pain meds, and he was feeling pretty good if he did say so himself. He grinned wildly at Alexis. "Did you hear?!" he asked her, suddenly thrilled beyond belief. "I get to have sur-ger-y!"_

_Alexis just shook her head. Glancing down at her father she thought to herself, "Is it weird that this behavior seems completely normal to me?"_

Chapter Three

After another sleepless night Beckett walked into the precinct. She felt completely out of sorts. They were making good progress on the case, so she knew the only reason she felt so horrible was because Castle had never called her. She couldn't believe it. It suddenly struck her that except for the two summers that they had spent apart she hadn't gone this long without talking to him in four years! Was that even possible?

As Kate lowered herself behind her desk she glanced again at Castle's empty chair. A flash of foreboding washed over her. Why hadn't he been into the precinct? Even when he'd been cheating on them—she knew that was strong wording but that was how they'd all felt—even when he'd been cheating with Slaughter he'd talked to them. Even if he was mad at her for some reason (she felt her stomach clench suddenly at the thought that he was mad at her), surely he wouldn't ignore the boys.

Glancing around the empty room she suddenly wondered where the guys were anyway.

* * *

An hour earlier

Ryan and Esposito had actually beat Beckett to the precinct for once. They'd noticed the heavy circles under her eyes and had assumed she wasn't sleeping well, so neither of them were concerned that she wasn't in yet. It wasn't as though she was actually late it was just that she was late for Beckett.

As they'd propped themselves against her desk and faced the murder board they'd both casually glanced at Castle's chair. As they looked back at the board their eyes met.

"It's weird…" Esposito started, trailing off.

"Yeah, where is Castle anyway?" Ryan interrupted, "Maybe we should call him?"

"Dude, that might actually be a good idea," Esposito nodded, "You know that I don't like to get in the middle of things…"

Ryan snorted because he knew that Esposito not so secretly loved to get into the middle of things.

"…but," Esposito continued, "it's weird that we haven't heard from our boy in a while".

Ryan nodded.

"It's probably nothing, just something to do with the fight that he and Beckett seem to be having".

Ryan frowned, "You think they're actually fighting?"

"Dude! Have you felt the tension recently? Something's way off".

Ryan nodded again, "Yeah, you're right. It's felt weird lately. They haven't really been building theory or anything".

This time Espo nodded, "I thought it had to do with Slaughter, but now I think it's way more than that. Plus, Beckett hasn't even asked where Castle is….that doesn't make any sense".

Ryan turned to the phone on the desk beside them, picking up the receiver and leaning in to dial, "Maybe it's time to ignore Mom's feelings and give Dad a call…"

* * *

Castle grinned at the redhead sitting on the edge of his bed. _"Alexis is funny!"_ he thought, grinning wider.

Considering the fact that Alexis was currently highlighting her history book, she looked up in bewilderment when she heard her dad laugh. Seeing the glazed look in his eyes she shook her head and smiled before returning to her studying.

He had to admit that he felt pretty darn good. Everything seemed funny and he couldn't remember why he'd been upset before. Something to do with…Beckett? "Kateeee" he moaned happily, a silly grin on his face.

Alexis looked up again from her textbook. She knew how miserable her dad had been for the last month, and she was surprised to see how happy he looked as he said the detective's name. Chalking it up to the copious amount of pain killers that he was on she turned to him and said, "Dad. Detective Beckett is busy at the precinct today. She's at work".

Castle nodded sagely. He knew Beckett was at work, she loved her job, she was always at work. Except sometimes she would spend time with him. He loved when she did that! When they were outside of work and did something fun together, like that time when they went to see 'Forbidden Planet'. A dopey grin filled his face as he remembered how much fun that had been. He wanted to see Kate right now!

"Dad!" Alexis snapped her fingers in his face, bringing him back to reality, "They're coming in about half an hour to take you for surgery, okay?"

Castle nodded and closed his eyes, sinking further into the pillow as his thoughts drifted back to Beckett. He loved her wit, and her hair was pretty cool too. He loved her. Castle felt something tugging in the back of his mind, something to do with him and Beckett, but he couldn't remember what it was, it kept slipping away.

Alexis startled on the bed as her father's phone began to ring. She started to dig in the covers for it shaking her head as she did so, "Really Dad? The 'Police Academy' theme song?" Alexis asked as she handed the phone to her father.

"S'must be the precinct!" Castle crowed as he answered the phone, "Hellooo?" he asked, giving the word way too many syllables.

Ryan gave Esposito a puzzled look, quickly putting the call on speaker, "Castle, is that you?"

"It's me!" Castle sounded really excited to be himself.

Ryan and Esposito exchanged glances.

"What's going on?" Ryan asked, puzzled.

Alexis had decided that enough was enough and snatched the phone out of her father's had.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Oh. Hi. Alexis?" Ryan asked for clarification.

"Yeah it's me, did you guys need something?"

"It's just…wait, Alexis, where are you? Your dad sounded a little weird". Ryan was getting more and more confused by the minute.

"Weird is right," Alexis responded rolling her eyes, "Dad was actually in a pretty serious accident last night, and he's in the hospital waiting to go into surgery".

"He's what?" Ryan gasped.

"Alexis, do you need us to come to the hospital?" Esposito interrupted, managing to keep calm as always in the face of a crisis.

"Actually," Alexis said hesitantly, "if you guys wanted to come that would be great. But, um, can you…" She got off the bed and walked into the hallway, glancing back at her father who seemed to have a newfound fascination with his hands, "…can it just be you guys?"

"What do you mean?" Ryan asked.

"It's just…" Alexis was still hesitant, afraid of offending, "…it would be really great to have both of you here but Beckett…well, Beckett and Dad haven't been on very good terms lately and I think having her here would just…"

Esposito nodded, then realized that Alexis couldn't see his nod through the phone, "Kid, don't worry about it. We've picked up on it too, no point in making your dad more stressed when he's in the hospital".

"Right," said Alexis, breathing a sigh of relief.

"We'll just check in with the Captain and then we'll head right to the hospital".

"Thanks guys!" Alexis felt a weight lift of her. All of this responsibility had been making her tense.

Hanging up the phone Ryan and Esposito exchanged another glance.

"Dude," muttered Ryan, shaking his head, "Beckett is going to be pissed at us when she finds out that we kept this from her".

"Will she?" Esposito asked, and they both exchanged another look as they realized that they had no idea what was really going on between the writer and his muse.

* * *

She couldn't understand it. Where were they? She glanced at the clock again as she looked up from the paperwork that she was attempting to fill out. Puzzled she dialed Ryan's number.

"Where are you guys?" Beckett asked as soon as he answered, not even bothering with a typical greeting.

"Oh..um…we're…" Ryan was actually standing next to Esposito in front of Castle's hospital room. They'd just arrived and had been about to go in to check on the writer. "We're following up a lead!" Ryan snapped, silently exhaling a sigh of relief.

"Oh". Beckett sounded slightly puzzled.

"It's just, we know you've been tired boss," Ryan said as Kate inwardly groaned. Did she really look that bad? Now she couldn't even hide a couple of sleepless nights?

"Uh huh", said Kate, letting her displeasure at his comment seep into her tone.

"Sorry! Didn't mean anything by it, but anyway, Espo and I were in early so we decided to check out a lead that came up. We cleared it with Gates".

"Right," Kate realized she could have just checked in with Gates. Putting her head in her hands she silently berated herself. Maybe she was more tired than she'd thought.

"Okay," Kate continued, "sorry Ryan. I'll see you guys when you get back here".

"Yep! See you then!" Ryan said cheerfully as he hung up the phone. He turned and saw Esposito glaring at him.

"What?"

"You realize," Esposito growled through clenched teeth, "that you mentioned Gates? What's going to happen if Beckett goes to Gates and asks for clarification? She knows what we're really doing!"

"Oh man," Ryan shook his head, "you're right, I didn't even think about that".

Just then the door swung open and Alexis stuck her head out, "There you guys are! I thought I heard you in the hallway. Dad will be super happy to see you both".

As they stepped into the room Castle's eyes immediately landed on the duo, "Ryan! Esposito!" he exclaimed, actually struggling to get up in bed.

"Dad! Lie down," Alexis said, trying to use a stern voice that would get through her dad's medicated brain.

Sheepishly, Castle leaned back down on the pillows, "Sorry, Lex, you're right," he said apologetically. "Did you hear I got hit by a car?" Castle asked Ryan and Esposito, enthusiasm suddenly flooding back into his voice.

"That's…great, Castle," Ryan said hesitantly.

"Yeahh!" Castle mumbled. A dopey grin again filled his face as he looked around the room, "So where's Beckett?"

Esposito immediately took charge, "Sorry man, she's stuck at work".

"She loves to work," interjected Castle, a dreamy look filling his face.

"Yeah man, she does," Esposito accepted, quickly changing the subject he added, "so, you're having surgery?"

"They're removing my spleen! Through a teeny, tiny hole!" Castle prodded his side, apparently impervious to the pain he'd felt earlier that morning.

"We're doing laparoscopic surgery," the nurse interrupted as she entered the room carrying a clipboard, "Now, Mr. Castle, these are the consent forms for your surgery. Normally we wouldn't want you to sign them considering the high doses of pain killers you're on, but since we got verbal consent earlier this is just a form of confirmation".

Castle nodded.

"Okay, so why don't you read over these quickly and sign them. I'll be back in just a moment to take you to surgery," and the nurse swept out of the room as suddenly as she had appeared.

Castle stared at the papers in front of him, trying to force his brain to focus. The letters swam in little circles unless he held the paper right up to his nose. Squinting he read the paperwork.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, "the paper says that if I die I won't sue the hospital! How would I sue the hospital if I was dead?"

Alexis shook her head trying to get rid of thoughts of her father dying. "Dad," she said irritated, "you're not going to die. It's a minor surgery. You're going to be just fine".

"Oh I know," Castle nodded and smiled, "and if I did die, it's alllll good. Kate will take good care of you!"

He leaned over to sign the paperwork with his shaking hand, not hearing Alexis whisper sarcastically, "Yeah right".

* * *

_AN: I promise that Beckett's going to realize that something is actually wrong incredibly soon. After all, she is a detective!_

___Fanficfan39, thanks for the reviews, it definitely encouraged me to get this chapter out faster!_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, maybe one day…

Chapter Four

As her father got taken away for surgery and was finally out of eyesight, Alexis let herself cry. She knew that he'd almost definitely be all right, that it wasn't a dangerous surgery, but she'd almost lost him the night before. Her stomach clenched as she remembered how terrified she'd been as she'd rushed to the hospital. And now he was going to be hurt all over again! Sure, the surgery would make him better in the long run, but they were going to cut him open and—Alexis sobbed.

Ryan stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the girl. "It will be all right," he promised giving her a quick hug. He released her and stepped back, looking her in the eyes, "they're going to fix him up and he'll be good as new".

Alexis nodded, hastily wiping her tears away with the back of her hand.

"Well, almost as good as new," Esposito said grinning, "I'd say it's going to take months for his hair to grow back in".

Alexis laughed, suddenly realizing that things weren't so bad.

* * *

Kate Beckett stood up from her desk and stormed towards Gate's office. Her captain had apparently ordered her team to go question witnesses or something, and she was totally in the dark. It just wasn't right! It was her team. Her team! She knocked angrily on the office door, promptly opening it to face her captain. The anger on her face was evident.

"Yes? Beckett?" Captain Gates said mildly, eyeing the irate detective before her.

"Sir!" Kate tried to get her anger under control, "Sir," she continued more calmly, "I was wondering if you could tell me when my team might be back?"

Gates gave her an incomprehensible look and said drily, "Well, considering the fact that I gave them the rest of the day off, I'd say tomorrow".

"You what?" Beckett shouted, her anger returning in a flood.

"Gave them the rest of the day off," Gates repeated.

"But-" spluttered Beckett, "Why wasn't I informed?"

"I assumed you knew," Gates responded calmly. She and Detective Beckett occasionally had antagonistic face-offs and frankly, in this circumstance she didn't see the point in getting riled up.

"But why?" Kate asked, again reining her temper in.

"I thought it might be a nice thing to do," Gates replied, some of her annoyance coloring her tone, "so that they could go see Mr. Castle after his accident and before his surgery".

"What?" Kate actually shrieked this time, feeling overwhelmed with the news. She felt light-heated and leaned against the doorjamb.

Gates, realizing that her detective might actually be out of the loop, made a concentrated effort to get the news across, "Mr. Castle was injured in an accident last night and he is at the hospital having surgery".

Beckett gasped, if anything hearing the news again just made it worse. She'd been so irritated at him the last two days, so childish, refusing to call him before he called her. And all that time he'd been hurt?

Standing suddenly she felt familiar waves of adrenaline rush through her.

"I have to go," she snapped, already moving away from Gates as she headed out of the precinct.

* * *

Castle had been in surgery for a while and Alexis was starting to get worried. Ryan and Esposito were trying to distract her with some cards they'd borrowed from the nurses, but somehow a game of Go Fish wasn't distracting her from thoughts of her father lying cut open on an operating table.

Esposito tapped her on the shoulder, finally distracting her from her thoughts, as he gestured toward the surgeon who was approaching them.

"The surgery went well as expected," the doctor said, and Alexis immediately breathed a sigh of relief.

"We're taking him to recovery in a few minutes, and after that you'll be able to see him".

Alexis nodded and smiled, "Thank you!"

"You're very welcome," the doctor smiled back at her, "he'll need at least one more night in the hospital. A doctor will come by later to go over discharge instructions and post-surgical care".

Alexis nodded to show she was listening, which she was, but inwardly she was jumping up and down like a little kid. Her dad was going to be all right! And he would be coming home soon!

She sent a quick text to Martha, who she'd been keeping updated throughout the day: _Dad's out of surgery. All OK. Talk to you tonight._

Ryan and Esposito were exchanging grins, thrilled that their friend was all right. They'd been putting on brave faces for Alexis, but they had both been aware that surgery was never without risks.

The grins feel off there faces quickly as they caught sight of Beckett rounding the corner. She was rushing towards them, and she did not look happy.

* * *

Castle slowly opened his eyes, once again wondering where he was. He seemed to be waking up this way far too often. He groaned loudly as he felt a sharp shooting pain. His eyes blinked open again, and he saw a nurse looking down at him.

"Do you feel a lot of pain?"

"Yeah," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut again to stop the tears that were threatening to spill down his face.

"It should feel better in just a minute," the nurse reassured him, "we finished your surgery and we just transferred you to recovery. They've already started an IV for pain meds".

"Alexis?" He asked.

"Is that your daughter? She's in the waiting room. She'll be able to come see you as soon as you're more comfortable. Don't worry, she's fine, she's with a couple of detectives".

"Kate?"

"I'm sorry," the nurse looked puzzled, "I don't know who that is. Is that your wife?"

"No". He said abruptly and closed his eyes to end the conversation. He hoped she thought the tears that were sneaking out of his eyes were tears of pain. He'd heard her mention detectives and had suddenly hoped that Beckett might have come. That she might have cared enough to come. But she wasn't there, and it just drove home to him how little he mattered to her.

* * *

Beckett stormed towards her fellow detectives.

Alexis looked up right before Kate reached them and felt herself become tense with annoyance. What was she doing here! She had no right, no right at all. She'd spent the last month making her dad miserable and now she was showing up. And she looked annoyed! Alexis couldn't even begin to comprehend what right Detective Beckett had to look annoyed. After leading her dad on for years she'd somehow (Alexis wasn't quite clear on what exactly had happened), but she'd somehow managed to abandon her dad and hurt her deeply. She stood up, preparing to yell at the detective to get out, but Beckett started yelling first.

"What!" she shouted angrily approaching the chairs where Ryan and Esposito were seated, "What the fuck were you guys thinking!"

She felt a sudden wave of embarrassment for cussing when she glanced toward Alexis who was standing looking at her slack jawed. But even the embarrassment did little to temper her anger.

"You guys knew! You both knew that he'd been hurt—that he was here—having surgery! And you didn't even have the decency to call me?" Beckett angrily wiped a tear away from her face.

"Beckett, listen", Esposito tried to calm her down.

"Not now, Espo! God, I can't believe you did this!"

"Beckett," Ryan tried.

"No, seriously, who do you think you are to keep something like this from me!" Beckett half-screamed, half-sobbed.

"Detective Beckett?" Alexis said softly, her quiet hesitance drawing Beckett back to earth.

"Oh," Kate said, suddenly deflated, as she turned to face that girl who was now standing beside her, "Oh, Alexis, I'm sorry. I just…no one told me and…"

Alexis was giving her a puzzled look. She didn't understand the detective's reaction. Why the hell was she reacting like this? She knew Beckett didn't care about her dad, she'd already hurt him badly, so why would she care if he was hurt physically?

Kate sunk down toward the chair the happened to be behind her, placing her face in her hands as she took deep breaths to try and regain some focus.

The other detectives and Alexis watched her in silence, all of them wondering what had triggered such a strong emotional reaction.

"Beckett," Ryan tried again, gently putting a hand on her shoulder.

Kate looked up and met his gaze.

"He's fine, Beckett," Ryan continued, "he got in a car accident last night, and he's pretty banged up, broke his arm and a bunch of bruises, and they just did surgery to remove his spleen, but he's fine".

"He's okay?" Kate asked breathlessly.

"He's okay", Espo said, looking Beckett directly in the eyes.

Taking a few more calming breaths Beckett nodded. "Sorry," she whispered, staring at the floor, flooded with embarrassment and relief.

Alexis glared at her in annoyance, but she was too relieved to notice.

A nurse walked down the hallway and cleared her throat as she approached, clearly seeing that she was walking toward an emotional scene. Kate and Alexis both stood up abruptly as she drew close.

"Mr. Castle is doing well, he's in recovery and he can see you all one at a time," the nurse looked at them sternly, "and try not to excite him too much, he's had a pretty stressful couple of days. Now, who will be first?"

All of the adults pointed toward Alexis, as she approached the nurse she leaned towards Beckett and whispered in her ear harshly, "Do you hear that? Not stressful. If you wanna seem him, got that?" She glared at the detective, and Beckett was startled by the intensity in the teenager's eyes. She nodded immediately, puzzled.

* * *

Alexis walked out of her father's room feeling only relief. He was clearly alive, if drugged again. She shook her head, smiling slightly; she should have known how bad her dad on painkillers would be! He was hard enough to control when he wasn't heavily medicated.

"Wanna get some ice-cream kid?" Esposito asked, gesturing toward the cafeteria.

"Sure," said Alexis grinning, walking toward the cafeteria. As they reached the door she paused briefly, looking backward and shooting Beckett a warning glance.

Kate caught the look, but didn't have time to figure it out before the nurse appeared again.

"You must be Kate?" she said, smiling at the woman in front of her.

"Um, yes?"

"He's been asking for you," the nurse grinned, "a lot".

* * *

Beckett braced herself before she entered the room, pausing briefly in the doorway to gather her thoughts. She was so overwhelmed! It was unusual for her to have such an intense emotional reaction. Since her mother's death she had learned to keep things under control, to not show any weakness. But in the last hour she had yelled at her boss, got in the faces of two of friends, cursed in front of a teenager, and almost collapsed in a hysterical mess. She swallowed, ordering herself to get her emotions under control. He was fine, she knew that now, he was fine.

But when she entered the room and saw him there, lying in the hospital bed covered in bruises, it was all she could do to restrain herself from running over and throwing herself at him.

Castle opened his eyes as she was nearing his bedside, "Kateee?" he moaned, his voice sounded softer somehow, and way more sexual than normal.

Beckett mentally ordered herself to get her mind out of the gutter and smiled down at him. Hesitantly she reached out to take his right hand, careful to avoid the IV wires.

He grasped her hand firmly in his and grinned at her.

"You came!" he said, and his voice was so filled with excitement that she shivered slightly.

She perched on his bed and he tightened his grasp on her hand, "I'm so glad you're here," he said tiredly, his words slurring slightly.

He looked as exhausted as she felt, and Kate suddenly wanted to lean over and kiss him on his forehead while whispering promises that everything was going to be all right. But she didn't. He wasn't hers, she knew that now. She wondered suddenly where his newest woman was.

He stared at her and for a second she thought she saw the old familiar Richard Castle. The guy who had followed her with puppy dog eyes around the precinct, the guy who she had just recently realized that she might actually (she swallowed deeply, admitting to herself for the first time), that she might actually love.

But just as quickly the old familiar Castle was gone. His eyes drifted shut and his grasp on her hand loosened. She stayed perched on the end of his bed, staring at him, wishing desperately that he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

* * *

_AN: Thank goodness Beckett finally figured out that something was wrong; I was beginning to doubt her detective skills! As always, I appreciate reviews :)_

_If you live in the USA I hope you're staying safe with this ridiculous hurricane. Lucky for me (and you?) I got the day off work and managed to keep power, so I'm able to keep up the crazy pace of an update a day! Have a lovely Castle Monday, fingers crossed we don't lose power so that we can watch tonight._

_As always, please R&R._


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Still not mine, still wishing they were…

Chapter Five

Beckett woke up abruptly, the crick in her neck suggesting that she'd fallen asleep at her desk again.

She stiffened immediately as she looked around and realized that she was still in Richard Castle's hospital room. She'd fallen asleep sitting at the side of his bed.

She glanced down at him and felt a rush of relief when she saw that he was still sleeping. She took a second to admire him as he slept, despite the fact that he looked like he'd wrestled with an elephant and lost, he was still cute.

His eyelids fluttered and she jumped up and rushed out of his room. Imagine if he'd woken up when she'd been sitting there gazing at him! She didn't even want to think about how embarrassing that would have been. She'd already experienced way too much embarrassment for the week; she certainly didn't need to add to the already long list.

* * *

"Sweetie," Martha continued over the phone, sounding quite apologetic, "I really am sorry that I can't come back early. They have me under contract here and since your father isn't in any dire emergency, they won't let me—"

"Gram," Alexis interrupted, "don't worry about it! Dad's going to be fine, the surgery went well and he's feeling a lot better".

Alexis grinned suddenly, she'd already seen her dad this morning and she had to admit that he was pretty ridiculous on pain killers, "They have him on some medication and let's just say—"

This time it was Martha's turn to interrupt, "Dear God, my son on painkillers. I can't even imagine. Darling, be careful he doesn't set the house on fire!"

Alexis giggled, but had to admit that with how loopy her dad was being that wasn't outside the realm of possibility. "Don't worry," she reassured her grandmother, "I have everything under control".

"Oh darling," Martha stated adamantly, "I've never doubted your ability to manage your father".

"Well Gram, I think I better go. The doctor is coming in a few minutes, and I think he's going to go over Dad's discharge paperwork".

"All right darling! You take care of yourself and that insufferable father of yours, and make sure you call me later tonight".

Alexis promised that she would and hung up the phone. She was so happy that her dad was going to finally come home! She'd hated being at the loft by herself, and even a dad doped up on painkillers was better than no dad at all. Actually, she corrected herself, she wasn't sure whether her dad doped up on painkillers was that different from her dad without painkillers. Suppressing a smile she entered the room.

The doctor looked up at the teen when she entered and smiled at her.

"Alexis!" Castle crowed, excited to see his daughter, somehow forgetting that she'd already visited him once that morning. About five minutes earlier.

Shaking her head in amusement, a motion that Alexis feared would become all too common in the days ahead, she walked over to the doctor.

"Well," the doctor cleared his throat, "now that we're all here let's discuss the terms of your release…"

"Terms of release? You make it sound like I'm in prison!" Castle said eagerly, not sounding at all perturbed at the thought of actually being in prison.

"Yes well," the doctor continued, slightly distracted as he validated his earlier thoughts that this would be a difficult patient, "anyway, considering the extent of your injuries I'd say you're going to be on some heavy duty painkillers for at least the next several days".

"I feel fine!" exclaimed Castle.

"Hence the painkillers," the doctor stated the obvious before continuing, "but without them the pain would be ridiculously excruciating. The problem is," he directed the next statement to Alexis, "your father is going to need help in the next couple of days. He's not going to be very mobile, and he's going to need someone to give him his meds, and help him to the bathroom, and feed him. He's going to need an adult with him".

"I'll be at home!" Alexis promised.

"Yes, I know," the doctor stated, "but I suspect you have school, and you're not going to be able to take a week off to look after your dad".

"Alexis goes to school!" Castle nodded emphatically.

The doctor ignored Castle this time and continued talking to Alexis, "Is there another adult who might be able to help look after him?"

"Beckett will do it!" Castle interrupted.

"Um Dad," Alexis didn't know how to broach all of the problems behind that suggestion while the doctor was standing there, let alone while her father was drugged.

* * *

Ryan and Esposito had been relieved when Beckett had entered the bullpen that morning as though nothing had ever happened. It was clear that she didn't want to talk about any of it, and they were perfectly happy with that solution. Truth be told, they both felt a little guilty about the way they had hid Castle's injuries from her. From her reaction in the hospital corridor it was clear that she did care about Castle, in fact it appeared that she cared about him a lot more than they'd ever realized.

When Beckett got up from her desk at lunchtime and left the precinct to pick up Chinese food, something the guys both suspected was a sort of silent peace offering, they immediately started talking about her.

"Dude," Esposito started, "that was an intense reaction last night on Beckett's part".

"I actually thought she was going to…cry", Ryan whispered, looking furtively around the room.

"Dude, she's gone, she can't hear you," Esposito chuckled.

"I was thinking…you know, I think she might actually have feelings for Castle," Ryan continued.

"You think?" Esposito looked at Ryan like he was completely crazy, "Obviously she has feelings for him! The question is what are we going to do about it?"

"Do about it…?" Ryan asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, I was thinking last night, Castle's pretty beat up right?"

"Yeah?" Ryan looked puzzled.

"And he's supposed to be leaving the hospital tonight right?"

"Yeah?"

"Well," Esposito grinned, "Martha is stuck in the Catskills, and do you honestly think the hospital is going to discharge him to his teenage daughter?"

Ryan grinned, suddenly realizing where Esposito was going with this, "How're we going to make her do it?"

Esposito grinned wider.

"Man," Ryan whined, "you know I did _not _mean that sexually. All I meant was…how are we going to make her available to look after him?"

Esposito just shook his head at his partner, "That's the easy part. When's the last time Beckett took a vacation?"

"Pretty much never!" Ryan admitted.

"So, we'll just clear some vacation time with Gates," Esposito suddenly became hesitant as he glanced towards the captain's office, he shuddered quickly and then continued, "as I was saying, we'll clear vacation time for her with Gates, and then we just figure out how to trick her to get her over to Castle's".

"Trick her?"

Esposito grinned again, "You know Beckett, right? About this tall," he gestured emphatically, "wavy brown hair, incredibly proud with a difficult personality?"

"Right," Ryan swallowed hard, "trick her".

* * *

Gates looked thoughtfully at the two detectives who were nervously fidgeting in front of her.

"You want me," she asked for clarification, "to give Detective Beckett vacation time that she _hasn't asked me for_?"

"Yes sir," Ryan and Esposito said in unison, both standing a little straighter as their captain glared at them.

A sudden grin flashed across her face, softening her features. Ryan and Esposito exchanged a quick surprised look before turning their focus back to Gates.

"Yes," Gates continued, her voice so serious that it was hard to imagine that she'd been smiling only a moment ago, "I think that's not a bad idea," Gates continued in a slightly softer voice, almost as though she was persuading herself, "She's been a little high-strung lately, I don't think she's sleeping well," snapping back to attention she gave both her detectives stern glares, "and I think that a detective needs to be well-rested to be her best, don't you agree?"

"Yes sir," they again spoke in unison.

"But sir," Ryan said hesitantly, "I don't think she needs a," he swallowed hard, slightly concerned that they may have hurt Beckett instead of helped her, "a suspension".

"Oh I quite agree Detective Ryan," Gates said in her normal slightly abrasive tone, "she simply has way too much vacation time. It's bad for the police force for her to keep so much vacation time on hold. I'm going to have it insist that she use some of it. About a week, wouldn't you say?"

"Yes sir".

"Excellent, you may leave," Gates flicked her hand toward her door, simultaneously shifting her attention to the paperwork on her desk.

"Phew," said Esposito as soon as they were outside her office, "that's the easy part over".

"That was the easy part?" Ryan exclaimed.

"Yep, cause now my man we've gotta trick Beckett".

"Terrific" mumbled Ryan, as they walked back toward their desks.

* * *

After her dad had insisted several more times that Beckett, and only Beckett, should be the one to look after him Alexis had almost caved.

She'd gotten out her phone and told her dad that she was going to step into the hallway to give the detective a call.

He was drugged enough that he didn't even to think to ask why she wouldn't just dial in his room.

But just thinking about Kate Beckett made Alexis' stomach churn and for her dad's pride as well as her own she refused to make the phone call. Instead she called Lanie.

"How's my favorite little Castle?" Lanie asked as she jovially answered the phone, holding a finger to her lips to indicate that Esposito should keep quiet.

Ryan and Esposito had arrived at the morgue only moments earlier and explained their plan.

"Lanie, I'm really sorry to bother you, I know you're at work," Alexis began.

"Don't be ridiculous! You know I've always got time to talk to my protégé".

"Thanks Lanie," Alexis grinned, "look, I know you're on shift a ton, but I was wondering if you and the guys could maybe help me out with my dad a little?"

"What do you need?"

"He's getting released from the hospital tonight, but the doctor won't let him go home with only me. He said we need a _responsible adult_ too," the exasperation in Alexis' voice was clear over the phone line and Lanie stifled a laugh.

"I was wondering," Alexis continued, "if maybe there was some way you and the guys could work out some kind of schedule…just for the hours that I'm in school!" Alexis clarified.

Lanie winked at the guys, pleased that everything was going according to plan.

"Sure Alexis, I bet we could work something out".

Alexis exhaled a sigh of relief, "Thanks Lanie".

"How about I swing by after work and help you get your dad home, it might not hurt to have a doctor help him get settled," Lanie offered.

"That would be great!"

"Okay good, and then, I know he won't be up for it, but I'm guessing you're probably starving already right? When's the last time you ate?"

Alexis thought back and couldn't actually remember, "A while ago?"

"Well then, the rest of us will come over and eat dinner with you after your dad is in bed. That way we can work out some sort of Castle babysitting schedule".

"That sounds awesome Lanie! Thanks!"

"No problem Alexis, I'll see you tonight". Grinning Lanie hung up her phone. Without missing a beat she whipped around and gave both of the guys high-fives.

* * *

_AN: I apologize for the lack of Beckett in this chapter, but you know she can't be around when they're getting ready to manipulate her!_

_I survived the storm unscathed and I hope all of you did too._


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Still not mine. Unfortunately.

Chapter Six

Getting Richard Castle home had been a precarious affair. He was injured badly enough that his body was hard to manipulate, and drugged enough that he couldn't stand without swaying. It took a nurse, Lanie, and Alexis just to get him into Lanie's car.

"I'm going home!" he exclaimed, thrilled at the prospect of escaping the hospital even if he was still wearing the hospital gown. They'd thought about putting other pajamas on him, but with his broken arm, the bandages from his surgery, and the cuts and scrapes all over his arms and legs it seemed like too much work. After the effort that it took just to get him into the car Lanie was secretly relieved that they hadn't even attempted it. Alexis was not so secretly relieved that they'd managed to get her father into the car without him flashing her.

As soon as she slid behind the wheel Lanie breathed a sigh of relief

"Dad, aren't you tired?" Alexis asked, trying to distract her dad from rolling up and down the car windows as quickly as the electronic button would allow.

"Nope!" he just looked at her and smiled. A puzzled look crossed his face for a moment as he wondered where Beckett was. He distinctly remembered telling Alexis to call her so that she could look after him. Mmm look after him.

He was brought out of his daydream by his daughter lightly smacking his hand away from the window button.

"Sorry Lex," he said, unaware that his words were slightly slurred.

So where was Beckett? Oh. He realized suddenly. She must be at the loft. Yep, he nodded to himself, that would make sense. Beckett would meet them at the loft.

* * *

At that very moment Beckett was giving Ryan and Esposito a puzzled look.

"We're going to the loft tonight?" She asked, not quite sure she had grasped what they were telling her.

"Right", Ryan responded nodding adamantly and giving her a look like she was the crazy one.

Esposito turned his back away from them a moment to stop the grin that was forming on his face before he turned to face her completely serious, "Alexis has been feeling very lonely since her father's accident, and with the amount of drugs he's on he won't be good company tonight".

"Okay…" Beckett nodded, still not understanding what this had to do with her.

"Lanie talked to Alexis today and they decided we'd all go over there for dinner tonight. To keep Alexis company".

Kate was confused again, because she had a strong suspicion that Castle's daughter really disliked her. In fact, if the whispered comment in the hospital corridor was taken at face value it wasn't just a suspicion anymore, it was confirmed.

"Well," she shrugged, accepting that Lanie often forced her into scenarios that weren't exactly to her liking, and admitting to herself that she didn't have the strength to deal with a full on Lanie-fight tonight, "okay then".

"Great!" Ryan said, "Oh, and Beckett?"

"Hmm?" Beckett looked up again from the paperwork that she had already been refocusing on.

"I think Gates wanted to see you in her office".

As Beckett stood and walked towards Gates' office Esposito chuckled and shook his head, "Dude, I don't think I've ever been prouder".

"I think," Ryan said quickly as he watched the interaction between Gates and Beckett through the window, "that we may want to head to the break room for a few minutes".

* * *

Beckett stormed out of Gates' office toward the elevator. It wasn't until she was outside the precinct, stalking along the sidewalk, that she began to slow down.

She was offended by Gates' forced offer of vacation time. How dare she say she looked tired!

Moments later, stifling a yawn for about the tenth time that day, Beckett admitted that Gates may have been right.

She hated showing weakness, and she especially hated it when other people saw her weaknesses before she did, but she really hadn't been sleeping well. She couldn't remember the last time in over a month that she'd had an uninterrupted night of sleep. It seemed that as soon as the nightmares from her shooting began to fade her stress over Castle had escalated.

She felt tears well up in her eyes as she thought about Castle and she angrily brushed them aside.

She was Detective Katherine Beckett! One of NYPD's finest. She did not cry.

Her phone rang and she sighed in relief when she saw that it was Lanie. Anything to distract her from herself.

"Hi Lanie," Beckett answered, slightly breathless from her rushed exit of the 12th Precinct.

"Hey girl! I hear we're on for dinner tonight?"

"Oh," Beckett had already forgotten all about that, "the thing is Lanie—"

"Kate Beckett! Don't you dare cancel on me! This is non-negotiable!"

"But Lanie," Kate sighed, "I'm really exhausted and—"

"Girl, I think you need to realize that at this point I am not even listening. I will see you at Castle's loft at 7 o'clock," Lanie's voice took on a no-nonsense tone, "sharp".

"Lanie—" Kate tried to argue again, but suddenly realized it was pointless because her friend had already hung up on her.

Oh well, Beckett shrugged. She was already on forced leave for a week so it probably wouldn't hurt to spend one more night with the gang before she holed up in her apartment for the next seven days.

* * *

Lanie grinned at her phone, shaking her head at the stubbornness of that girl. Slipping her cell back into her purse she exited the bathroom and headed back toward Castle's room. She could hear the author having a rather animated conversation with his daughter.

"Dad!" She heard Alexis howl in laughter, probably at some ridiculous comment Castle had just made.

Alexis stepped out of the room as Lanie approached and just shook her head when Lanie raised a questioning eyebrow.

Lanie laughed slightly and then addressed the girl, "I have his other prescription and it should help him sleep. We can't have your father bouncing off the walls all night!"

Alexis nodded in understanding.

"Why don't you go downstairs and start the food while I finish things up? He'll probably fall asleep pretty quickly, and then I'll head downstairs. I'll be there in time to help you get everyone else settled for dinner".

"Great! Thanks again Lanie for doing this," Alexis said.

Bounding downstairs Alexis disappeared and Lanie looked determinedly toward Castle's room, _"So, Mr. Castle,"_ she said to herself, _"let's get you settled for the night. We cannot have you disrupting this plan"._

* * *

Walking into Castle's room Lanie grinned at him openly. He was sprawled backward on his king size bed, taking up way more space than should have been humanly possible. He was still dressed in the hospital gown, but luckily Alexis had the foresight to drape a blanket across his lower half. Considering the way his legs were spread apart, Lanie knew without a doubt that without that blanket she'd have seen way more of Castle than she was interested in seeing.

Castle grinned back at Lanie as she approached. He was feeling much better now that he was home. His head had been swimming as they'd helped him to his room, but now that he was lying down the swaying had stopped. Also! He realized suddenly, Lanie would know where Beckett was. Because Lanie and Beckett were friends!

"Where's Beckett?" he slurred.

Lanie was briefly surprised that Castle was asking for her friend. She'd thought, if she understood what Kate and the rest of the gang were telling her, that Beckett and Castle were at odds. She couldn't fathom why he suddenly seemed to want Kate around.

Shrugging, Lanie answered the question truthfully, "She's coming over for dinner, so she'll be here soon".

"Good". Castle stated, and Lanie was surprised again at how pleased he appeared.

"You want her here?" Lanie asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable taking advantage of Castle's drugged state.

"Oh yes," Castle nodded emphatically, "I want her".

Lanie laughed at the accidental sexual innuendo, pausing slightly as she wondered whether it had been accidental at all. Deciding that she definitely did not want to engage in sex talk with a drugged Castle, she took out the prescription bottle and tapped a pill into her hand.

"Okay Castle," she said, pausing briefly at his bedside table to pick up a glass of water, "I want you to take this pill and try to get some sleep".

He took it from her wordlessly and swallowed the pill.

"And Beckett'll be here soon?" He asked, as Lanie was turning to leave the room.

"Yes," Lanie confirmed.

Castle nodded, a sleepy but happy smile on his face as he leaned back and closed his eyes.

Lanie exited Castle's room closing his door behind her. She paused briefly at the top of the stairs, fingering the key that rested inside her pocket. Thank God Kate had trusted her enough to give her a key to her apartment. She couldn't imagine this plan working without it.

* * *

Beckett paused slightly in front of the door to the loft. She still felt awkward about showing up for dinner after what had transpired between Alexis and herself earlier that day. Not to mention the tension with Castle, though, Kate realized with disappointment, Castle wouldn't be at dinner. Hadn't Lanie said he would be sleeping?

Just as she was preparing to knock on the door she heard a swell of laughter. Kate felt slightly better as she identified her friends' voices inside.

She unconsciously tugged on her red button-down shirt to straighten it and then ran a hand through her hair before leaning forward to knock on the door.

The door swung open and she looked down at a puzzled Alexis.

"…Hi…Detective Beckett…" Alexis said hesitantly.

"Hi, Alexis," Beckett decided to ignore the awkwardness and just plow onward, "sorry I'm late for dinner".

"No problem," Alexis said, still sounding slightly confused, "why don't you come in".

Kate entered the loft, pausing briefly to hang up her coat in the small closet to the right of the door. It was an automatic reflex from her time spent in the loft after her apartment had blown up. She hadn't been to Castle's home in months, but the reflex was still strong. Beckett was so distracted by the simple act of hanging up her coat and the memories it recalled that she didn't notice Alexis glaring at her as she shut the front door.

After hanging up her coat Beckett headed toward the kitchen and sounds of laughter. She couldn't help but laugh too as she arrived just in time to see Lanie stuff a wad of spaghetti down Esposito's shirt.

"Oh, hi Beckett!" Lanie said breathlessly, trying to recover from her own laughter.

Kate just smiled and shook her head, amused at her friends' actions.

"Dinner's almost ready," Esposito added, attempting to furtively remove the spaghetti from underneath his shirt, hoping that Beckett hadn't seen Lanie overpower him.

* * *

At dinner the food was good and the company was even better. Beckett had to admit that despite her reluctance to attend, she was glad that Lanie had forced her into it.

Ryan shared the story of how he'd met Jenny's parents for the first time, and even Alexis collapsed in laughter.

The girl had been sneaking puzzled looks at Beckett all night, but she had been raised to be polite to guests and tried to be a good hostess. At one point she even turned to Beckett and asked her if she had any weekend plans. Alexis was shocked when she heard that the detective was on vacation for the next week.

Lanie overheard the exchange and quickly tapped Esposito on his leg under the table to see if he'd been paying attention. He nodded at her and abruptly stood up, effectively ending the conversation between Beckett and Castle's daughter before Alexis could ask any more questions.

"I think," Esposito said, in a voice that was a little too loud, "that we should wrap this party up".

"Yeah," added Ryan, picking up on Esposito's cue, "some of us have to be up early for work tomorrow".

"That is so true," Lanie added, before turning to smile at Beckett, "some of us aren't lucky enough to be on vacation tomorrow".

"Right," muttered Beckett, still slightly annoyed that wasn't allowed to work for a week.

"So," Lanie continued brightly, standing swiftly and following the guys who were already making their way rapidly toward the loft's front door, "Alexis, it was so nice of you to have us here for dinner".

"You're welcome," Alexis said automatically, confused at how quickly the dinner was ending.

"Beckett," Lanie added, "I'm _so _glad that you're on vacation for the next week. It makes things so much easier. Don't you agree, Alexis?"

"Huh?" Alexis asked, even more confused.

"It's great!" Lanie tried not to sound too enthusiastic, "We needed an adult to stay with your dad. Beckett will be perfect".

"What?" Alexis and Kate asked simultaneously, both unable to hide the anxiety from their voices.

"But Lanie, I can't stay…" Kate tried to come up with a way to refuse without offending Alexis, "I…I don't have any clothes with me!" she added triumphantly.

"Girl, don't be ridiculous," Lanie said rolling her eyes as she nudged Ryan and Esposito out the front door, "I already packed for you".

Lanie pointed at a bag next to the door that Beckett had somehow missed seeing when she'd first entered the apartment.

"But—" Kate said.

"Gotta go! Lots of things to do" Lanie said, exiting the loft and effectively closing the door in Kate's face.

"But—" Beckett stared at the closed door in amazement.

Alexis stood behind her, mouth slightly ajar, trying to figure out what had just happened.

* * *

_AN: I __promise that I'm not going to keep Castle drugged forever! Even though this is Chapter Six we're only two days post-injury, so I'm assuming he'd still be on heavy painkillers at this point. _

_Please please review, it will encourage me to keep writing at (close to) this pace! (I can pretty much guarantee that I'll never release two chapters in one day again...you can thank the hurricane and my unwillingness to sit on a finished chapter for this quick turn around).  
_

_76Marjo and aurike-I agree; Alexis is being harsh. I'm worried it's becoming a little OOC, but apparently she's decided to be moody.  
_


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: My birthday happened and I didn't get these characters, so sadly they don't belong to me.

_Previously on 'Down the Road':_

"_It's great!" Lanie tried not to sound too enthusiastic, "We needed an adult to stay with your dad. Beckett will be perfect"._

"_What?" Alexis and Kate asked simultaneously, both unable to hide the anxiety from their voices._

Chapter Seven

Kate Beckett stared at the closed door in front of her. What in the world had just happened? Was she actually, Beckett felt the beat of her heart increase as she formulated the thought, was she…staying with Castle for the next week?

Still standing stock still, she tried to get her emotions under control. She didn't know how to feel! Of course she'd been worried about him when he'd been hurt. More than worried, she admitted to herself. She'd been panicked at the thought of losing him. But that didn't change the fact that he had lost interest in her company. How would he react when he found out that she was supposed to be looking after him?

Beckett's anxious thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her.

She turned to face the teen who was staring at her with a look of equal bewilderment and displeasure. "I guess you're staying with us," Alexis muttered, "you know where the guest room is". And with that Alexis turned and stalked toward her bedroom.

Beckett watched her leave and she couldn't help but think that Alexis had stolen her moves.

* * *

It took the last bit of restraint that she had to keep from slamming her bedroom door. Throwing herself onto her bed, Alexis groaned. How had this happened? Didn't Lanie understand how problematic things were between her dad and the detective? Beckett had spent the last month making her dad's life a living nightmare!

She just wanted her dad back. The guy who joked around with her, who came up with ridiculous ways to spend their weekends, who managed to laugh without a glimmer of pain in his eyes.

She knew Beckett was to blame for her father's new behavior. Alexis wasn't dumb. She'd quickly realized that her father's new risqué life-style, a life-style that almost mimicked the lies that tabloids had been telling about him for years, was Beckett's fault.

* * *

After she watched Alexis effectively run away from her, Beckett leaned heavily against the front door.

She knew that Lanie was right about one thing; Castle did need someone to stay with him. She'd taken stock of his injuries when she'd seen him in the hospital, and she knew that he would need help for the next couple of days. She understood that Alexis couldn't be expected to do it, she had school and besides, she really was still a kid.

Beckett remembered Lanie saying at dinner that Martha was away for a few weeks working on a play, and wondered if the comment had only been made to give her a head's up that calling Castle's mother would do nothing to save her from this scenario. Knowing Lanie she highly suspected that was the case.

Thoughts in order, Beckett retrieved her bag from the floor and headed toward the guest room. It looked like she was staying at Castle's for the next few days and there was no point in delaying the inevitable.

* * *

The guest room was exactly how she remembered it and Beckett found herself awash with pleasant memories. The time she'd spent at Castle's after her apartment blew up had been surprisingly refreshing. They'd been getting along back then and she'd enjoyed getting to know him more outside of work.

Not, she supposed, that she'd really been getting to know him. The Castle she'd spent time with over the last month was nothing like the Castle she thought she'd been growing closer to.

Beckett turned her attention to the bag in front of her. She started unpacking, curious to see what Lanie thought she would need for a week away from home.

She wasn't surprised to see that Lanie had packed mainly casual clothes. After all, she had known that Beckett wouldn't be going into work. She was surprised to see that mixed in with a few of the casual shirts and jeans that she favored when she was off-duty was almost every sundress she owned.

Didn't Lanie realize it was winter? Beckett was suddenly irritated at her friend and her apparent lack of packing ability. Couldn't Lanie have given her a heads up about this plan? She would have done a much better job of packing!

No, Kate had to admit, she wouldn't have done a better job. Because if Lanie had warned her that she had to spend the next week with Castle she would have done anything possible to get out of it.

Beckett removed her holster and badge from her hip and carefully placed them in the bedside table drawer. She trusted Alexis, but she still felt uncomfortable bringing a gun in a home that had a child. Even if that child was a precocious teenager.

She chose a shirt and pair of jeans from the pile she'd left on top of the dresser. Removing her work clothes she pulled on the clean weekend attire. She had to admit that it was more comfortable.

Looking around, taking a final stock of the room, Beckett switched off the light and headed down the hall to check on Castle.

* * *

Beckett gasped as she entered Castle's bedroom.

Lanie had left a bedside lamp on and it illuminated the cuts and bruises that covered the author.

Castle was sound asleep, propped up against several pillows. He'd shifted since Lanie had left him, and even though he still lay on his back his legs were drawn tightly together, his good arm clenching his cast to his side, almost as though even in sleep he wanted to stop the pain that moving it caused.

Beckett felt a surge of sympathy and concern. She wished she could do something to make him better. He was so clearly hurting, even in his sleep.

Almost as though he wanted to confirm that fact, Castle let out a groan of pain. He shivered slightly, but his eyes remained closed, his breathing the steady sound of someone fast asleep.

Beckett walked over to Castle and gently touched his face. Sitting on the edge of the bed she stroked his hair. Staring down at him sleeping she let out a sudden yawn. God she was exhausted. She knew she couldn't leave him though, despite everything bad that was going on between them he was her partner and he was hurt.

She climbed into bed beside him, reassuring herself that Lanie had said that he was heavily medicated and that he would sleep through the night. Beckett quickly calculated how many more hours he would sleep. She was used to getting five hours of sleep a night, and in the last month she'd almost never managed to sleep that long anyway.

She nodded to herself having made a decision. She knew she wouldn't get any sleep at all if she didn't watch over him. Beckett lay down on the bed, making sure to keep plenty of space between herself and the writer. Lying on her side, she watched his chest rise and fall, letting his soft breathing lull her to sleep.

* * *

Castle woke up in the middle of the night. Everything still felt fuzzy, but he felt surprisingly content. He blinked as he looked around, his eyes adjusting to the harsh light from a lamp on the table next to him.

He was relieved to see that he was actually home. He had been concerned that it was all a dream, that he was still stuck in the hospital. But no, he was home.

He yawned as his hurt body and the medication pulled him back toward sleep. Leaning deeper into the pillows his eyes shifted to his right.

He saw Beckett, illuminated by the lamp, fast asleep.

Sliding further down on the pillows, and ignoring the pain in his arm, he rolled onto his side so that he was closer to her. As sleep began to reclaim him he reached out and gently touched her shoulder, reassuring himself that she was actually there.

Unconsciously Beckett responded to the touch, scooting closer to Castle and pressing herself against his side.

Castle smiled down at her gently before closing his eyes and succumbing to sleep.

* * *

Beckett's eyes snapped open as she felt something hard dig into her ribs. After her years of living on edge she was cognizant of her surroundings within moments.

She was lying in bed, and, she realized with horror as she tried to move, spooning Castle! His arm was wrapped around her and he was clutching her so tightly that his cast was digging into her ribs. Wiggling she tried to get loose, but he only shifted slightly and then he drew her closer to him.

Kate couldn't help herself from feeling a sense of security as he snuggled closer to her. She desperately wished that he was aware of his actions. That he really wanted her to sleep next to him; that it was desire and not confusion caused by medication that was causing him to hold her so tightly.

A frantic knocking sound filled the room. Beckett immediately scrambled out of Castle's arms, fear of discovery causing her to escape his tight grasp. She smoothed her hands through her hair, picked up the glass of water and bottle of pills, and yelled, "Come in!".

* * *

Alexis' alarm went off at 7 am as always. School started at 8 and she liked having a full hour to get ready. Sometimes she even managed to squeeze in some extra studying.

As soon as she'd gone to the bathroom and brushed her teeth she wandered down the hall to the guest room. She felt badly about her behavior toward Detective Beckett the night before and she thought that at the very least she could offer her breakfast. It wasn't a peace offering really, because she couldn't forgive Beckett for hurting her dad, but a truce of sorts. If Beckett was going to be around for the week she didn't want to have to deal with awkward silences 24/7.

As soon as she reached Beckett's room Alexis realized that she wasn't there. The door was wide open, and the bed didn't even looked slept in. Peering closer, Alexis could tell that it hadn't been remade…it legitimately hadn't been slept in!

But where was Detective Beckett?

Alexis suddenly felt panicked. She knew that Beckett had gone upstairs the night before! Had she left the loft after Alexis had gone to sleep? Maybe Alexis had scared her away?

Alexis was frustrated. Didn't Beckett realize she needed her there? That Castle needed her there? What was Alexis supposed to do now? She had to go to school and her dad needed someone to look after him! It was so typical that Beckett would promise something and then just disappear.

Alexis headed down the hall to her dad's room to check on how he was feeling. She knew he'd need his pills soon because based on what Lanie had said his medication should be wearing off.

When she reached his door she stopped in surprise. She distinctly remembered leaving the door propped open so that she would be able to hear her dad call out during the night. Why was it closed? Hesitantly Alexis knocked on the door.

* * *

Kate tried to look natural as the door swung open revealing Castle's daughter.

"Hi," Alexis said hesitantly, peering into the room as though she was trying to discover something illicit.

"Good morning!" Kate replied, a lot more cheerfully than she really felt. By the look that Alexis was giving her she was concerned that it was obvious that she'd slept in Castle's room. Glancing quickly down at the bed Beckett dismissed that thought. Her body hadn't left an impression on the mattress, Castle had somehow already shifted onto his back, and she was dressed in normal clothes for goodness sakes!

"I was just getting ready to wake up your dad to give him his pills," Kate was pleased that she'd had the foresight to grab the water and prescription bottle off the table.

"Okay," Alexis said, still trying to figure out what exactly was going on. Kate clearly hadn't slept in the guest room…had she gone home and then come back? But how would she have done that? She didn't have a key.

"When do you have to leave for school?" Kate interrupted Alexis' thoughts.

"I have to leave in," Alexis glanced at her watch, "half an hour".

"All right," Kate stated, "let me just give your dad his pills and then you can say good morning to him before you head out".

"I was," Alexis suddenly felt shy, "I was thinking that maybe you might want to have breakfast with me?"

Beckett was surprised at the hesitance in the teen's voice. "Of course, Alexis. Breakfast sounds great".

"It's just cereal," Alexis said with a petulant tone returning to her voice.

Alexis turned and left the room.

As soon as she was gone Beckett looked down at Castle, shook her head, and muttered, "Teenagers".

* * *

_AN: At the very least I can promise a Castle/Beckett interaction in the next chapter…after all, she's about to wake him up!_

_Thank you for your comments about Alexis! I'm glad you seem to agree that she has a right to be upset at Beckett (at least for a little while). As always, I appreciate any feedback you might have!  
_

_I've decided that I'm going to post every day right around lunchtime (eastern US time) for at least the next week. I may not be able to keep up the pace of posting a chapter a day forever, but for now it seems to be working and no one is complaining sooo...let me know if for some reason the speed of posting is bothering you! I can always sit on chapters for longer :)  
_

_**Happy Halloween!**  
_


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Still not mine. Still wish they were.

Chapter Eight

Castle woke up to someone calling his name.

"Castle. Richard Castle. Castle!"

Groaning he opened his eyes and saw Beckett gazing down at him.

"Hey," he muttered, his voice rusty with sleep. He was confused, he thought she had been sleeping next to him. It must have been a dream. It wouldn't have been anything new, he'd been dreaming of Kate Beckett for the last three years.

"Hey yourself," Beckett said in reply smiling at Castle.

Castle gasped as a look of intense pain crossed his face.

"Castle?" Beckett asked in concern.

"Hurts," he whispered, barely able to form the words through the pain that was coursing through his body.

"Take this," Beckett pressed a pill into his hand, passing him the water as soon as he'd stuck it in his mouth. Castle rapidly swallowed the pill willing it to work as quickly as possible.

Beckett couldn't stand the look of him in so much pain. She reached out her hand, desperately wanting to stroke his head, to kiss his forehead, to do something to alleviate his pain. But she couldn't touch him with his eyes gazing at her face and she snatched her hand away before she succumbed to her desire to run it through his hair.

Castle closed his eyes as another wave of pain washed over him. He prayed that the medication would kick in.

"It will be better soon," Beckett promised, trying to soothe him with her words.

He nodded. He realized that he was already feeling a little better. Yeahh, he smiled slightly, he could feel the medicine starting to work.

Beckett saw Castle's face relax and was relieved that the pill was working so quickly. It had been unbearable watching him is so much pain and she promised herself that she'd keep on top of his medicine regimen for the rest of the day so he didn't have to experience it so intensely again.

Without opening his eyes Castle mumbled, "Think I'm going to sleep more".

Beckett nodded, and then realized that he wasn't able to see it, "Okay" she said. She stood for a minute gazing at him, snapping out of it as his breathing evened out indicating that he was asleep.

* * *

Beckett entered the kitchen and was startled by the sight in front of her.

When Alexis had said they were having cereal she'd assumed that meant something simple like a box of cornflakes. Instead, the teenager had pulled out at least ten different kinds of cereal and lined up the boxes on the counter. Of course the Castle household would have everything from sugary cereal to granola. Beckett couldn't help but smile at the extravagant sight. It felt like Castle.

Alexis turned to face the detective, "What do you want?"

Laughing slightly, Beckett grabbed a box of Cheerios, "This is great, Alexis".

"Yeah, well, Dad likes a lot of variety".

"Obviously," Kate nodded as though this explained everything.

"In fact," Alexis smiled genuinely at Beckett for the first time since she'd arrived, "Dad says cereal tastes better when you mix lots of types together. He likes to experiment".

Kate just nodded again, "Of course he does".

* * *

After saying good-bye to Alexis and promising that she'd still be at the loft after school, Beckett grabbed a muffin off the counter and poured a glass of orange juice. She then headed upstairs to check on Castle.

She hesitated right before she entered the room, taking a deep breath to settle her nerves.

As soon as Kate entered the room Castle's face lit up, "Beckett!"

"Hey Castle," Kate took in Castle's loopy grin and was relieved to see that he didn't seem to be in any pain, "are you feeling better?"

"Feeling awesome! Doesn't hurt at all!" Castle nodded emphatically to emphasize the statement.

"Good," Kate said, tilting her head slightly and smiling.

"I like that!" Castle said enthusiastically pointing at Beckett. He loved it when she looked at him like that…it seemed as though she reserved that smile just for him. He couldn't remember the last time she'd looked at him like that.

"I thought you would," said Beckett, assuming that Castle was referring to the muffin she was handing to him.

Castle accepted the muffin immediately stuffing half of it in his mouth. "Tastes good," he mumbled with his mouth still full, crumbs falling on his blanket.

"Maybe eat it a little more slowly?" Beckett suggested, giving Castle the raised eyebrow look that he liked so much.

"Okay," he slurred trying to eat the muffin more carefully. Beckett sat on the edge of his bed. As soon as he was done she handed him the glass of orange juice, ordering him to drink it slowly.

"After all," Beckett added, "we don't need you to spill it on yourself. I don't think we want to deal with giving you a bath".

"A bath with you sounds awee-somme," Castle sang, a huge grin lighting up his face.

"Castle!" Beckett felt a wave of embarrassment, but tried to play it off as a joke. She leaned over and smacked him lightly.

"Heyyy. Already hurt here," Castle slurred raising his eyebrows at Beckett.

"Sorry," Kate muttered.

"'S Okay".

They both sat in silence for a moment, Castle gazing at Beckett in fascination, her eyes remained downward, staring at the swirled pattern on his comforter and tracing it with her finger.

"Hafta pee," Castle announced suddenly, struggling out of the covers and attempting to stand.

"Wait a minute, let me help you!" Kate snapped to attention, standing swiftly as Castle collapsed back on his bed.

"Woah," Castle said as the room spun around him.

"Are you okay?" he opened his eyes to see Beckett staring at him in concern.

"Di-dizzy," he slurred.

"Let me help you get up," Beckett suggested, "I'll help you walk to the bathroom".

Castle nodded, thinking it might be a good idea since the room was still swirling around him.

Beckett leaned down and helped Castle sit up, wrapping her arms around his waist as she pulled him forward.

As soon as Kate touched him Castle wanted her. God he wanted her! Without realizing it he let out a low moan.

"What?" Kate pulled away, "Am I hurting you?"

"No," Castle grinned at Beckett wildly and grabbed her arm to bring her back towards him.

"Okay," Beckett said hesitantly, reaching out again to help him stand up.

As she reached forward her arm accidentally brushed against Castle's lower half and he gasped as he felt a flood of desire.

Beckett again interpreted it as a sound of pain, and pulled away, this time standing in front of Castle. He stared at her openly, his eyes tracing the lines of her body. Beckett stared back at Castle, her eyes gazing intently at him as she tried to figure out what was causing him so much pain. She tempered a gasp of her own as her eyes fell on his crotch that was barely covered by the hospital gown.

"I'm hard," Castle stated matter-of-factly, for once hardly slurring the words.

"I can see that," she swallowed, forcing herself to look away. She felt a rush of desire low in her abdomen and cringed inwardly. This was not okay.

"I have to—" She tried to figure out an escape plan, "—go to the bathroom". Kate turned and rushed out of the room.

"Okay!" he called after her, watching her as she walked away from him, the back view of her doing nothing to lessen his desire.

* * *

Beckett stood in front of the bathroom mirror staring at herself. She seemed to be doing that a lot recently. Taking slow careful breaths she reminding herself that Castle was heavily medicated. He wouldn't remember this. God, she hoped he wouldn't remember it. It was just too awkward. She knew he wasn't interested in her anymore; his behavior over the last several weeks had made that clear. It must have just been his medication that had relaxed him into such an aroused state. Yes, she decided, that was it. That was the only thing that made sense.

She took another deep breath as she felt her anxiety fade. She smiled sardonically; even she had to admit that it was kind of ironic that Castle had gotten so excited for her when he didn't want her at all.

When she reentered the bedroom she felt the remainder of her anxiety drain away, suddenly realizing how tense she had really been. Castle was asleep. Thank goodness.

Walking quietly over to his bookshelf she ran her finger over the spine of his books before picking up 'Heat Wave'. She flipped it open and read the dedication even though it was unnecessary: she'd committed it to memory a long time ago. Shaking her head she put the book back on the shelf, she couldn't fathom experiencing Rook and Heat's interactions when they were now so shockingly different to the ones between her and Castle. Hesitating only briefly she grabbed a Derek Storm book off the shelf instead. Regardless of what was happening between them she still wanted to hear his voice in her head. If they couldn't talk for real reading his writing was the next best thing.

Kate headed toward the leather armchair in the corner of Castle's room, sitting down and curling her legs under her as she opened the book and began to read.

* * *

Alexis rushed home from school as quickly as humanly possible. She'd almost considered skipping her last class of the day just to get there sooner. That showed how worried she really was, because Alexis Castle wouldn't have chosen to miss a day of school if her life depended on it.

What if her dad had confronted Detective Beckett? What if she had made him upset? What if she had run off-Alexis felt that Kate was good at running off, hadn't she done it the summer before? What if her dad was all alone?

Entering the loft frantically Alexis felt her stress level rising when she didn't catch sight of the detective. She wasn't in the kitchen, she wasn't in the living room and she wasn't, Alexis glanced in as she rushed towards her dad's room, in the guest room.

As Alexis entered her father's room she was relieved to see him lying in his bed sleeping. At least nothing had happened to him! She felt her irritation at the detective fade as her eyes settled on her father's leather chair. Detective Beckett was curled up in it, one hand dangling off the chair loosely grasping a book, sound asleep.

Alexis felt a little bit better. The detective had clearly sat in her dad's room to keep an eye on him. Although she didn't think it made up for all the pain her dad had been suffering through, it did at least show that she was willing to accept her responsibility. She had said she would help look after her dad and she was actually doing it.

Alexis walked over to Detective Beckett and tapped her on the shoulder to wake her up for dinner.

* * *

After dinner, an event that was far pleasanter than Kate could have imagined (or at least an event that managed not to include any yelling) she and Alexis headed upstairs to check on Castle. Beckett was surprised to see that he was still sleeping.

"He's been sleeping all day!" she exclaimed, slightly concerned that something was wrong.

"It's fine," Alexis reassured her, "when I talked to Lanie she said something like this might happen. He didn't sleep well in the hospital and he needs lots of sleep to recover from his injuries. His body knows that".

"Oh, okay," Kate said, surprised that Alexis knew so much, but relieved that nothing was wrong.

Alexis glanced at her watch, "I know it's still pretty early, but I have a lot of homework to do. I think I'm going to brush my teeth and climb into bed. Maybe it will be easier to get through 'Twelfth Night' if I'm lying in bed".

Kate smiled, "That sounds like a plan".

Alexis walked toward the door leaving Beckett standing next to her dad's bed. She smiled at her and Kate realized with sadness that it was only the second time the girl had smiled at her that day. "Good night, Alexis. I'll see you in the morning".

"Good night, Detective Beckett," Alexis replied as she exited the room.

"Alexis?" Kate called softly after her, waiting until the teen had paused in the doorway and turned to face her, "You can call me Kate".

An odd look flitted across Alexis' face, but it was gone as quickly as it had come, and even after her years spent in interrogations Kate wasn't able to read the expression. "Okay then," Alexis nodded, "good night Kate". And with that she headed toward her bedroom.

* * *

_AN: So, it seems like maybe we're headed toward some resolution between Beckett and Alexis. What do you think? Should Alexis forgive her?_

_I just noticed that I have over 100 followers and I want to thank all of you! I realize that's a small number compared to a lot of fics out there, but this is the first thing I've ever written and when I started I never imagined that it would reach so many people. Thank you for reading!  
_


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: As always, I wished I owned these characters but sadly no.

Chapter Nine

Beckett stared down at Castle's sleeping form. He looked so peaceful. She was glad that Alexis had reassured her that spending a whole day sleeping wasn't a sign that her dad was getting worse. Thinking of sleep Kate felt exhausted.

She realized with surprise that she'd slept pretty soundly next to Castle the night before although she'd only gotten a couple of hours and her dreams had been tempered by worry.

Recognizing that she needed to go to bed soon or she'd probably fall asleep standing up, Beckett headed back toward the guest room. She pulled off the long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans shuddering as she realized she'd put them on a full day and a half before. She really needed to shower.

Grabbing a pair of flannel PJs from the pile of clothes on the dresser Kate headed toward the bathroom.

After her shower she felt better. Even though she was still tired at least she was clean. Even if she couldn't do anything about the circles under her eyes at least she could do something about dirty hair.

She pulled back the covers and climbed into bed, lying down and willing herself to fall asleep.

Unfortunately, despite (or perhaps because of) her level of exhaustion, Beckett found sleep impossible. She tossed and turned before sitting up in frustration. Glancing at the clock on the bedside table she noted that a whole hour had passed. How could sleep be this difficult when she was so tired?

She admitted to herself that she knew what she had to do.

Climbing out of bed Beckett headed toward Castle's room.

When she got there she stood next to the bed, staring at his chest as it rose slowly up and down. She silently berated herself, knowing that it was the only way she was going to get any sleep even if it was ridiculous.

She slipped between the sheets and was unable to resist reaching out and softly touching Castle's arm.

Beckett wasn't surprised when he shifted his body toward her, sprawling his uncasted arm out so that it rested securely across her stomach. She assumed that it was some automatic reflex leftover from when he'd been married. After all, he'd slept pressed up against her the night before and he didn't remember it.

Even though she knew the movement didn't have anything to do with her it still made her feel better. She felt…safe…in Castle's bed. Within moments she felt her eyes growing heavy. She lifted her hand up and rested it softly on top of his hand that was lying on her abdomen. Letting out a contented sigh Kate fell asleep.

* * *

When she woke up the next morning she felt more rested than she had in months. As she felt herself drifting awake she realized that her position was identical to that of the morning before. Somehow she and Castle were once again spooning, his steady breathing causing a light breeze on the back of her neck. She wiggled out of his embrace and sat up to glance at the clock.

Eight-thirty? Kate gasped. She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept for seven hours. Shaking her head she had to admit that she felt better than she had in months. Glancing down at Castle, who was still sleeping with a small smile on his face, she thanked God that he hadn't woken up before her.

She clambered out of the bed and left the room, making sure to shut the door gently behind her.

Once she reached the kitchen she saw a note propped against the coffee maker:

_Detective Beckett_ Alexis had crossed this out and scribbled _Kate_ above it,

_I know you like coffee so I thought this was a good place to leave this note. I have a student gov. meeting before school today so I left early. Didn't want to wake you. Please text if you need me._

_-A. _

Beckett couldn't help but smile at the note. She was relieved that things seemed to be going better with Alexis. She really did want the girl to like her.

Pouring a cup of coffee she grabbed a banana and headed back up to Castle's room.

* * *

Beckett had just finished eating and was reading a particularly engrossing chapter of the latest Derek Storm novel when the adventure was interrupted.

"Now," Kate startled at the sound of Castle's voice, "I really have to pee".

She blushed, fearful that he was about to remember his earlier arousal. When she looked up from the book and into his eyes she didn't see any hint of teasing there. He seemed to only be stating the obvious.

"I'll help you," Beckett said, getting up from the chair she'd been sitting in and offering a hand to help him out of the bed.

Castle physically recoiled from her touch. He didn't feel woozy anymore, his thoughts were clear, and though he understood on a basic level that Beckett must be there to look after him, he couldn't help but remember the emotional pain.

"What?" Kate asked surprised at his reaction. He'd been so friendly the day before.

"I'm fine by myself," Castle said gruffly. He stood up very slowly and hesitantly walked toward the bathroom. Beckett stared after him. She felt her stomach drop at the indication that the old/new Richard Castle might be returning.

* * *

The walk to the bathroom had been excruciating painful but Castle had refused to let himself ask for Beckett's help. As soon as he closed the door he collapsed against it. He tried to breathe deep steady breaths to ease the pain and stop the tears that were forming. Gradually the pain decreased and he walked incredibly slowly toward the toilet.

After he'd relieved himself he felt better. His bladder had been close to bursting and he'd been slightly concerned that he'd wet himself in front of Kate. That was the last thing he needed! Another embarrassing thing to add to the long list of ways he'd looked like a fool in front of Katherine Beckett.

* * *

Kate stared at the bathroom door willing Castle to come out. He'd been in there for a really long time and every minute was painful. She started to sweat profusely, her flannel PJs suddenly suffocating her. What if he fell? What if he passed out? What if his stitches opened and he bled out on the bathroom floor? Beckett knew she was being irrational but for once she didn't care. What was taking so long?

Just as she'd been preparing to run over and break down the door it swung open. Castle shuffled out of the bathroom door barely making it halfway across the room before he dropped into the chair that Beckett had been occupying earlier.

"Are you okay?" Beckett asked hesitantly.

"Fine," Castle said trying to keep his voice free of pain.

As he met her eyes he knew she didn't believe him. They'd worked together long enough that they could often communicate with just their eyes. Even though he was trying hard to hide his pain from her he knew that she could see it.

"Do you want a pain pill?" she asked softly.

Castle resolutely shook his head. While he'd been in the bathroom he'd been trying to remember the last several days and could only visualize a foggy haze. He'd decided that despite the pain he didn't want to let go of his facilities again. Especially now that he knew that Beckett was looking after him.

Beckett decided not to push the issue.

"I'll just grab you some breakfast then. And maybe some Tylenol?"

"Thanks," Castle said, turning his head away from her and refusing to meet her gaze.

After she'd brought him breakfast Beckett headed back toward the guest room. Castle still wasn't talking to her. She wasn't sure if it was because of the amount of pain he was so clearly in or a return of the attitude of the last month.

* * *

Back in the guest room Kate decided to shower again. She knew it was ridiculous since she'd only just showered the night before, but she needed something to pass the time. Now that Castle was sober she felt uncomfortable spending the day sitting in his room, even if that was really where she wanted to be.

After her shower she realized with surprise that the house was warm. She checked the weather on her phone and noticed that it was about ten degrees warmer outside than it had been the day before. The loft's thermostat probably hadn't been adjusted, making the whole apartment feel over-heated.

Beckett looked again at the clothes that Lanie had packed for her, automatically rejecting the long-sleeved shirts and jeans.

She was a guest in this home and if Castle wanted to waste electricity who was she to complain! That being said, she refused to suffer.

Irritated, Kate drew a sundress out of her bag and pulled it over her head.

She hated when Lanie was right.

* * *

Beckett tried to pass the time before she could go and check on Castle again. Wandering into the living room she flicked on the TV, flipping through the channels. She realized that checking on Castle every five minutes would seem pathetic. Even if that was what she wanted to do, he wasn't injured badly enough to warrant such intense attention.

Finally lunchtime rolled around and Beckett felt comfortable heading upstairs. She knocked on the door before entering, an action that felt bizarre after she had spent the last two days and nights in the room.

Castle was lying on his bed in the supine position trying hard to breath through the pain. He'd somehow managed to pull on a pair of pajama pants, uncomfortable with the thought of being so naked in front of Beckett.

He really didn't want to take the stronger pain medication, but sitting in his room by himself had left him little else to focus on. He was irritated that Beckett was the one staying with him. Why was he stuck with the one person who he couldn't talk to?

When she saw the look of pain on his face Beckett groaned inwardly. Why wouldn't he take the pain medication? Why was Richard Castle so goddamn stubborn?

"Are you okay?" She asked even though she knew the answer.

She was, however, surprised by his response.

"Not really," he admitted through clenched teeth.

"Do you want some pain medicine?"

"No!" he shook his head adamantly.

If she was surprised by the insistence of his response Beckett didn't let on, "Maybe you need something to distract you from the pain?"

Castle just stared at her.

"When I was—" Beckett paused suddenly, uncomfortable with the turn the conversation was about to take, but deciding to plow through it anyway, "after I was shot," she continued, ignoring the look of surprise on Castle's face (she never mentioned her shooting), "the pain was pretty unbearable for a while. At first the medication really helped. I didn't want to feel anything. I didn't want to have to deal with thinking about what was going on".

Castle nodded in understanding. He felt some of his resentment toward Beckett soften. Even though he was furious and hurt by the way she'd been treating him recently he still believed she didn't deserve the pain that her shooting had caused her.

"What did you do?" he asked softly.

Raising her eyes to meet his, Beckett was reassured to see the old Castle gazing back at her.

"I distracted myself as best I could," she admitted, "I even started watching soap operas". She laughed slightly bitter, "Ironic I know, considering the state of my life. Anyway," she shook her head as if to get rid of the lingering negative thoughts, "maybe you want to watch some mindless TV?"

"That sounds good," Castle admitted.

"I'll help you downstairs," Beckett replied.

Castle let her help him stand and walk down the stairs, his resolve to keep her at bay weakened by the story she'd just shared.

* * *

Beckett helped Castle get settled on the couch, slipping a pillow under his broken arm to help prop it up.

"Thanks," he muttered. He tried not to stare too much at her. She was wearing a sundress and he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen someone so beautiful. It was pale yellow with thin straps and a fitted bodice with row of tiny buttons that only served to accentuate her breasts. The skirt was full and extended to just below her knees leaving her long legs clearly visible.

"No problem," Kate glanced around trying to figure out the best place to sit. Finally she settled herself into the corner of the couch leaving a large space between her and Castle. She grabbed the remote off the coffee table and turned the TV on. "So, what do you want to watch?"

* * *

They watched TV together in silence, but Castle had to admit that he was staring at her more than he was watching whatever was on. Beckett kept her eyes facing forward glued to the screen.

Castle still felt upset whenever he looked at her. He was so hurt by her and her presence did nothing to alleviate his disappointment and anger. It wasn't necessarily worse than when she wasn't there, but it wasn't better either.

He had to admit that he was surprised that she was here. He knew she rarely took time off work, and she must be using vacation time to stay with him. Still, he could only assume she was once again doing it out of a sense of duty. Why else would she be there?

* * *

_AN: Even though I'm the one writing this I still want to smack Castle and tell him to get a clue. He can come up with crazy conspiracy theories but he can't figure out why Beckett is helping him? _

_I've had a lot of people tell me that they want Castle and Beckett to talk. I can promise that we're getting there! I have the next couple of chapters planned out and things will progress, I'm not going to drag out this agony forever :)  
_

_Thoughts…comments…reviews?_


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Sadly no change. Still not mine.

Chapter Ten

They both jumped slightly when Beckett's phone beeped. She grabbed it off the coffee table and read the text. "It's Alexis," she smiled at Castle.

"What does it say?" Castle asked, eager to hear from his daughter.

"She wants to know if it's okay for her to stay at Paige's tonight. They're lab partners and they want to do their science homework together".

"Oh," said Castle, slightly disappointed that he wouldn't be able to see his daughter that night. He knew he'd probably seen her during the last couple of days, but he couldn't remember much about that medicated time.

Beckett immediately picked up on his hesitation. She knew he didn't want to be alone with her! He'd made that perfectly clear over the last month, and now he was probably trying to figure out a way to tell her that he didn't want to be around her without hurting her feelings. Much good it would do—her feelings already felt more than a little hurt.

"Do you want me to tell her she needs to come home?" Beckett asked, holding her breath as she waited for Castle's response.

"No!"

Kate expelled her breath in surprise.

"No," Castle continued more calmly, "she needs to study. It's fine for her to stay at Paige's apartment".

"Okay," Kate nodded and began to type a response.

"It's just," Castle admitted, and Kate looked up surprised that he was still talking, "I feel like I haven't seen her in forever. I'm sure she's been here but with the medication…"

"Ohhh," Kate smiled at Castle, and he realized with a start that he couldn't remember the last time she'd smiled at him, "yeah you were kind of loopy with that medication".

"Oh God," Castle said, appalled at what Kate might be implying, "I didn't do or say anything completely embarrassing did I?"

"No," Kate grinned, feeling a wave of relief that Castle didn't remember the incident from the morning before, "you've been the perfect gentlemen".

"Thank God," Castle muttered.

* * *

After finishing her text to Alexis, Beckett realized that it was almost dinner time.

She stood up from the couch and Castle again had to force himself to stop staring at her in that dress.

"What do you want for dinner?"

"Um," he said sounding distracted, "whatever. I'm not really that hungry".

"Yeah, me either," Kate admitted.

"I think we have cheese and crackers if that sounds good?"

Kate headed off toward the kitchen.

"Help yourself to wine too if you want!" Castle called after her.

As soon as he said it he cringed. What was he doing offering her wine? This wasn't a date.

A few minutes later Beckett returned from the kitchen carrying a platter of cheese and crackers along with two wine glasses and an open bottle of wine.

"Wine sounded good," she admitted as she placed the bottle on the coffee table.

She settled back into her corner of the couch before leaning forward to pour a small amount of wine in each of their glasses. "I think it's fine for you to drink a little," she said, turning to Castle, "it's been a good twelve hours since your last dose of pain meds. They should definitely be out of your system by now".

Grimacing in pain as he stretched his arm to accept the glass Castle stated, "They're definitely completely out of my system".

"I could get you some more if you want? Instead of the wine?"

"No," Castle said vehemently, "I'm not taking them anymore".

"Fine," Kate nodded, reaching to the coffee table again to pick up the platter. She repositioned it between herself and Castle so that it was easily accessible to him.

They both reached for a cracker at the same time, their hands brushing against each other. Castle immediately pulled his hand away, looking away from her and staring intently at the TV screen. Kate felt her stomach clench, the now familiar tension flooding her body. She wished, as she'd wished more times than she could count, that things weren't so weird between them.

She tried to ignore the feelings of tension and picked up her wine. She drained the glass and quickly refilled it to the brim, trying to turn her attention to the episode of 'Frasier' that was just starting.

* * *

Kate felt slightly tipsy as she swallowed the last mouthful of her glass of wine. Looking down at it she crinkled her nose, how many glasses had she just drunk? Smiling slightly she realized she didn't care. She felt good. She finally felt relaxed.

She looked over at Castle who was still propped up on the couch. He was staring at her per usual, and she couldn't read the look in his eyes. He looked…frustrated.

Suddenly Beckett wanted to explain everything to him. To finally tell him how she felt. She stood and unsteadily walked toward him.

"Castle," she leaned forward, whispering into his ear, her hair tickling the side of his face.

Castle tasted the wine on her breathe and gently pushed her away from him.

"You're drunk, Kate," he said disgruntled.

"A little," Beckett admitted, "but that won't change this".

Kate leaned forward suddenly before she lost the nerve and kissed Castle.

"Beckett!" he exclaimed in surprise, trying again to push her away.

"No Castle," she insisted, "I want this—I want you". Kate placed a hand on Castle's chest and pushed him further back into the couch. She leaned forward and kissed him again and Castle's mouth automatically opened in response. Her tongue entered it and she gently probed the top of his mouth. He responded in kind, suddenly wanting her desperately.

"God Castle," Kate moaned, intensely needing to be closer to him. She straddled his lap spreading her legs as far apart as possible before tucking her knees on either side of him.

"Kate," he groaned gutturally.

She continued to kiss him as their tongues touched, reveling in the spark she felt.

She ground her pelvis against him and gasped in desire as she felt him respond.

"You're so hard," she mumbled into his mouth, shocked and delighted by the reaction she was causing in him.

She rocked her hips gently again and reached down to stroke him as he hardened below her. She needed to feel the proof of his reaction.

"Kate!" he gasped, desire and something else flooding his exclamation, "No!"

He abruptly stood up, pushing her off him.

"Stop it," he demanded, trying to get his breathing under control.

Kate stood in front of him, panting slightly, eyes still dark with desire.

"Stop what?" she moaned, reaching out and trying to pull him back toward her.

"No!" he ordered again, smacking her hand away.

"But Castle!"

"No, Beckett," Castle shook his head at her as he took a step backward, "you don't really want this".

"Yes," Kate tried to explain, swaying slightly, "I want you".

"No," Castle stated, "you don't. You're drunk, Beckett. I know for a fact you don't want this," he gestured between the two of them, "you've proved that time and time again".

"But Castle," Kate tried to find the words to explain. Tried to figure out how to tell him how much she really wanted him.

"Get some sleep, Beckett," Castle muttered, gesturing toward the sofa as he abruptly left the room.

"But Castle," Kate muttered again, staring at him as he walked away from her. As soon as he was out of sight she dropped onto the couch and put her head into her hands, trying to stifle the tears that were coming. He really didn't want her.

* * *

_AN: I know, I know, I'm cruel. But it's never been easy between them. I also think a drunken hook-up is not the best start to a relationship (crazy of me, I know). Please let me know your thoughts. _


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: The usual.

Chapter Eleven

Kate Beckett woke up with a pounding headache. She was sprawled on the couch, her head lying precariously close to the edge. Her mouth felt dry and she was relieved when she caught sight of a glass of water placed on the coffee table in front of her.

She sat up, the room swaying slightly, and took a gulp of water. "Oh," she groaned. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this hungover. Actually, she couldn't remember the last time she'd been hungover at all.

She moaned as the events of the night before came flooding back. She'd made a complete fool of herself! And, she realized suddenly, Castle must have left her the glass of water. She was supposed to be looking after him not the other way round! She felt so ashamed. She groaned again, loudly this time.

"Beckett?" Castle stood at the top of the stairs clutching the banister for stability, a bottle of water tucked under his arm. He felt only concern as he looked down at her. It was a refreshing break from all of the anger and disappointment and unhappiness.

Beckett glanced up and jumped from the couch at the sight of him. His face was pale and a thin sheen of sweat glistened on his brow. Ignoring the sway of the room, and swallowing adamantly as she curbed her desire to vomit, she ran up the stairs.

Kate threaded her arm around his waist and helped him walk slowly down the stairs. "Sorry," he muttered, "I just wanted to check and make sure you were okay".

"That's my job," Kate replied, slapping him gently on his good arm. She helped him settle onto the couch.

"I'm fine," she added, trying to ignore the pounding in her head.

He raised an eyebrow at her, clearly doubting the truth of her words. "There's Advil in the bathroom cabinet".

"Thanks," she said, standing and resisting the urge to run to the bathroom.

As soon as the door had closed behind her she collapsed on the floor, grabbing her hair out of her face as she vomited repeatedly into the toilet.

Castle heard her retching and grimaced in sympathy. He had made a habit of studying Katherine Beckett and he had a suspicion that he had known she was going to throw up before she did.

He wiped his face clean of expression as she reentered the room, knowing she'd only be embarrassed if she knew he'd heard her.

She sat down gingerly on the couch, one hand on her stomach as she leaned back into the cushions. She accepted her glass of water from him without a word, and swallowed the Advil she held in her hand.

She handed him the bottle saying, "You don't look so hot either and I thought you might want some too".

He nodded in thanks. He swallowed some pills glad he'd had the foresight to grab a bottle of water.

"About last night," she started hesitantly.

Castle interrupted her, "I don't think we should talk about it". He looked at her with concern, deciding that now was not the time to get into a fight with her, regardless of how used he'd felt the night before. She'd clearly just been using him to satisfy some need for meaningless sex.

Kate looked exhausted as she leaned further back and closed her eyes. She had to admit that she didn't have the energy for the conversation, even though she knew it needed to happen soon. "Okay," she agreed. She didn't want to have to talk with Castle about everything just then anyway, because she knew he'd reject her again and she knew she'd have to leave. And honestly she was too tired and too hungover to go anywhere.

* * *

They sat on the couch together in silence for a long time. Finally, Castle leaned forward, ignoring the pain in his ribs, and grabbed the remote control. He flicked through the channels, finally settling on an episode of 'Temptation Lane'. He knew it would comfort Beckett. Despite everything that was going on between them, he suddenly felt an uncontrollable urge to try and make her feel better.

Beckett smiled as Castle put down the remote after picking a 'Temptation Lane' rerun. She watched the opening credits, feeling nostalgia and a sense of safety roll over her as the familiar music played. She used to watch this show with her mother when she was a kid. It was a special treat when she was home sick from school. She was touched that Castle remembered, and she realized it was one more reason she'd fallen in love with him.

She felt guilty that she'd caused her own sickness this time. As a kid the illness had never been her fault, but now it certainly was! She was unable to control a groan as her stomach clenched again.

Castle stared after her in concern as she rushed into the bathroom. This time she didn't even get the door closed before she threw up.

Finally, her stomach empty, she stood on shaky legs. She made her way back toward the couch, blushing because she knew without a doubt that Castle had heard her weakness.

When she sat down again he wordlessly handed her the glass of water. He opened his mouth to speak and she cringed in anticipation, "Antonio killed the woman he thought was his mother who is actually his grandmother because he believed she poisoned Maria" he filled her in on the plot that she'd missed.

Beckett smiled at him in gratitude, "Thanks Castle," she said, and she meant it for everything.

Castle just nodded at her and looked back at the screen.

* * *

As the end credits of a second episode of 'Temptation Lane' began to play Beckett let her eyes drift shut.

Glancing over at her, Castle saw that she was falling asleep and couldn't help but smile at how adorable she looked. Her cheek was pushed against the arm of the couch, her arms hugging a throw pillow to her. Her long legs were tucked under her and he suddenly found his thoughts drifting from adorable to sexy. He loved that dress on her. He was glad that she hadn't thrown up on herself, if she'd had to change he would have been sorely disappointed.

"_No!"_ He had to stop thinking of her that way, he mentally berated himself. What was his problem?

Still, he couldn't stop his mind from drifting back to the night before. To what it had felt like to kiss her, to feel her tongue in his mouth, her hips rubbing against his.

He punched himself on his leg, for once happy with the wave of pain that washed over him. He had to stop thinking about her like this! He knew she'd only hit on him because she was drunk. He knew it, but he was still being an idiot.

She had to leave, he realized suddenly. He couldn't deal with her being there anymore. Every time he laid eyes on her he knew he'd think of the night before and wish it meant as much to her as it had to him.

He picked up her phone from the coffee table and shot a text to Alexis:

_Ready to come home from Paige's? Your old man misses you, and Beckett has to leave!_

* * *

Alexis opened the text and read it. Then she read it again. She wondered what it really meant and was suddenly concerned that Detective Beckett had done something to hurt her dad's feelings. Again.

She'd already been packing her stuff up, so leaving Paige's apartment wasn't an issue. The original plan had been to eat lunch before she headed out, but she decided she'd better get home as quickly as possible.

* * *

When Alexis entered the loft she was surprised to see Beckett curled up on the couch sleeping. Her dad was sitting on the other end, a considerable distance between them, and he had his arms crossed and a stubborn look on his face. Somehow Alexis had been expecting the situation to be reversed, especially since her dad was supposed to be the injured one.

As she walked closer to the couch she looked again at Beckett and noticed in surprise that the detective looked pale.

"Dad?" Alexis asked, causing her father to startle.

"Hi Pumpkin!" he tried to pull himself out of his funk, "I didn't hear you come in".

"Obviously," Alexis grinned at her father, "it's good to see that your brain wasn't permanently damaged by all that medication".

"Nope," Castle grinned back at his daughter, "good as new". He gasped slightly as he stood up and gave her a hug, "Well, almost good as new anyway".

"Dad," Alexis continued, lowering her voice as she noticed the detective begin to stir, "what's wrong with Kate? Is she sick?"

"Kate?" Castle asked in surprise.

"Oh yeah, um, she asked me to call her Kate, I hope that's okay?" Alexis looked hesitant.

"Of course it's okay!" Castle said, surprised that Beckett had told his daughter to use such a familiar term. _"What was she playing at?"_ he thought, suddenly angry.

"Dad? Are you mad?" Alexis asked, sounding like a little kid.

"Oh pumpkin," Castle felt guilty, "of course I'm not mad! You should call her Kate. It is her name after all". He smiled down at his daughter as he gently wrapped his arms around her, ignoring the pain in his side.

"So is she?" Alexis asked curiously again.

"Is she what?"

"Sick?"

"Yes!" Castle decided on the spot that was the best response. He hadn't even thought about what he was going to tell his daughter. Glancing down at the still sleeping woman in front of him he felt a swell of emotion. It wasn't necessarily good or bad, it was just a lot of…feelings.

"What should we do?" Alexis sounded concerned, "Do we need to take her to a doctor?"

"No!" Castle cleared his throat, "Definitely not. She just has a little virus". He felt bad lying to his daughter, but he didn't feel the need to embarrass Beckett with stories from the night before. Hell! He didn't feel the need to embarrass himself with stories from the night before.

He still needed to get rid of her. Even with his daughter standing there he felt a pang of longing as he glanced at Beckett, "I think she just needs to go home. Get a good night's rest. She'll be fine tomorrow—I promise".

"Good," Alexis helped her now pale faced father sit down on the couch, "because I really don't think you can be alone yet. I mean, I'm here tonight, but I have a big exam tomorrow and maybe I should skip school to look after you but—" Alexis bit her lip, torn between her commitment to school and her commitment to her father.

"Lex!" Castle reached out and touched her arm, "Don't worry about it! I know you need to take that exam, you've been studying for weeks".

Alexis narrowed her eyes as she examined her father's face. He was looking worse by the minute and she was a little concerned that he was going to pass out. She already had one unconscious adult on her hands, she didn't need two!

Reading the concern in his daughter's eyes Castle groaned, "Why don't you give Lanie a call after we get Beckett home? Maybe she can stop by tomorrow," he closed his eyes as he tried to count, triumphantly he opened them and exclaimed, "It's Thursday! Her day off. She won't be working on a Thursday".

"Right!" Alexis was pleased that things seemed to be working out.

Now that his daughter looked more comfortable Castle returned his attention to Beckett. He scooted closer to her, reaching out and actually allowing his hand to stroke her hair.

Alexis narrowed her eyes as she watched the movement, confused by the emotion in her dad's actions.

Castle drew his hand away and created a little more space between them before gently shaking Kate's shoulder, "Beckett!"

Her eyes flew open immediately drawn to his face.

"Hi," she said weakly. Suddenly realizing where she was she sat up abruptly, relieved to find that her headache was a little better, "God Castle, I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be looking after you!"

"No need," he responded, a blank look on his face. Beckett felt disappointed at the now familiar lack of emotion in his voice.

"Alexis is back," he continued, gesturing to his daughter who was standing next to the couch.

"Alexis! I'm sorry I didn't see you there," Beckett looked at the teen apologetically.

"Seems like I'm invisible today or something," Alexis muttered before she remembered why she was there and a little contriteness entered her voice, "I'm sorry you're sick".

"Sick?" Beckett glanced toward Castle, but he just looked back at her, his expression set in stone.

"Yeah," Alexis nodded. "I'll just call a car service to take you home".

"Home?" Beckett had a flash of realization. She really didn't want to go back to her apartment. "I feel a lot better, I don't need to go home".

"Yes you do," Castle said gruffly in a tone that told her arguing would be futile.

"Okay," Beckett felt like crying, "I'll go and grab my things".

She turned and stood up walking away quickly so that Castle and his daughter wouldn't see the single tear that was rolling down her cheek.

* * *

_AN: I apologize for going all Marlowe on you and ending a scene with no resolution. I hope you'll find comfort in the fact that this story is rated M…and there must be some reason for that!_


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: The usual.

_Previously on 'Down the Road':_

"_Home?" Beckett had a flash of realization. She really didn't want to go back to her apartment. "I feel a lot better, I don't need to go home"._

"_Yes you do," Castle said gruffly in a tone that told her arguing would be futile._

"_Okay," Beckett felt like crying, "I'll go and grab my things"._

Chapter Twelve

With a heavy heart Castle watched Beckett walk away from him. He knew she had to leave, it was for the best. If the pain of being around her had been bad before it was even more unbearable now that he knew what it was like to really kiss her.

* * *

Entering the guest room Beckett finally let the tears fall. She grabbed the clothes off the dresser and stuffed them into her bag. It took her about 45 seconds to pack. As soon as she'd zipped up the bag she sank onto the bed. Kate forced herself to take slow calming breaths and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. With a start she realized that this was the first time she'd been anywhere near this bed since she'd arrived two days before. As her mind flashed back to the last two nights that she'd spent with Castle, nights that had meant a lot to her even if he hadn't known about them, the tears threatened to fall again.

No! She stood up and regained control. She was not going to cry over him. He clearly didn't give a shit about her. And if he didn't care about her, well then she just had to deal with it. Beckett was used to dealing with things, hadn't she dealt with her mother's death and her dad's alcoholism? If she had survived that she should be able to survive this no problem. She'd never had Castle to begin with. She wasn't even losing anything this time. So why did she feel so miserable?

* * *

After making herself look presentable Beckett walked downstairs, her bag clutched in her hand.

Alexis gave her a genuine smile, "I hope you feel better soon!"

"The car service is here," Castle interjected, still refusing to meet Beckett's eyes.

"I guess," Kate felt incredibly awkward, "I'd better be going then".

She was startled as she felt Alexis' arms surround her. She stiffened immediately before relaxing somewhat, allowing herself to take comfort in the girl's hug. Just as quickly the hug was over and Alexis bounded back to her father.

Castle watched the whole scene unfold in front of him in shock. His daughter had just hugged Beckett unprompted? And, if he wasn't mistaken, she had actually hugged back?

Recently he'd begun to think of Beckett as hardened somehow, of someone unable to feel emotions properly. How else could you explain the way she'd been treating him? But after watching that brief exchange with his daughter he wasn't so sure.

Beckett reached for the handle of the door to the loft, freeing herself from what had only days before felt like a forced prison.

"Well," she paused briefly in the doorway, trying to catch Castle's eye, "Castle, I hope you feel better soon". Feeling overwhelmed again Beckett quickly left the loft, pulling the door closed behind her.

He just watched her go, confused and already tired of trying to figure out what had just happened.

* * *

As soon as she got into her apartment Beckett felt her resolve collapse. She sunk to the floor leaning heavily against the front door that she'd just locked behind her. She'd wanted to cry for days and in the privacy of her own home she finally let go, tears coursing down her cheeks as she sobbed.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been crying before the ringing of her cell phone interrupted her. Digging through the bag that she'd thrown on the ground next to her, Beckett glanced at the caller ID. Stifling another sob she took a deep breath before answering, "Lanie?"

"Girl! Long time no talk! How's your vacation going? Have you been holding back on me?"

At the insinuation that she and Castle might actually be…something, Kate let out a sob.

"Kate?" concern suddenly filled Lanie's voice, "Honey, what's wrong?"

Beckett continued to cry quietly and Lanie tried to lighten the mood, "What did you do? You haven't killed him, have you?"

Kate took a shuddering breath before admitting, "I kissed him".

"What?" Lanie exclaimed eagerly.

Kate continued bleakly, "I kissed him, but he doesn't want me. He pushed me away. He rejected me".

"Oh Kate," Lanie sighed, "I'm so sorry. The guys thought forcing you two together would help fix things, help you get some resolution".

"I know and I don't blame any of you. It's my fault anyway. I should have known he wasn't interested in me after the way he's been acting".

"Kate, honey, I only have one thing to say," Lanie said forcefully, "That man's a fool".

"No, I'm the fool," Beckett said softly, "Listen, Lanie, I need to go. I'm sorry for making you hear all of this".

"Girl! If you think I mind at all then you're an idiot. Do you want me to come over? Keep you company? I have a day off tomorrow so I could even spend the night".

"No, it's all right. Thanks for the offer but I just need to be alone," Beckett said resolutely.

"Okay, try to get some sleep, and Kate?"

"Yes Lanie?"

"Call me if you need me".

Beckett stared at the phone for a moment after ending the call before letting it slip out of her hand onto the floor. She pushed herself up and walked into her bedroom, throwing herself onto the bed and closing her eyes. She took several deep breaths and willed herself to fall asleep. She really couldn't deal with…any of this right now.

* * *

As soon as she hung up, Lanie's phone rang again. Noting it was Alexis she gave a heavy sigh. Apparently the Castle/Beckett drama wasn't over for the night. Not, she thought irritably, that it was ever going to be over until Beckett and Castle had an honest conversation with each other.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Lanie?" Alexis hesitated, "Is something wrong?"

"No, no, nothing's wrong Alexis," Lanie reassured the girl.

"Okay, well then, um, could I maybe ask you a favor?"

"Sure," Lanie held her breath hoping that it wasn't anything to do with Castle. Though she had a sneaking suspicion it was (why else would Alexis be calling her?). Ugh, she just didn't want to deal with his sorry ass after the way he'd just treated her best friend.

"It's my Dad".

"_Great," _thought Lanie sarcastically.

"Detective Beckett wasn't feeling well today," Alexis continued.

"_That's an understatement!"_

"I don't know why," Alexis continued.

"_I bet a certain other Castle does"._

"But my dad still needs someone to look after him tomorrow, and I know you have the day off so…"

"Oh, Alexis honey, I would love to but," Lanie quickly thought of a lie, "my grandmother died".

Lanie grimaced as soon as the lie left her mouth. For one thing, her grandmother had died when she was about ten, and for another thing she felt like it was an incredibly cruel lie to tell. She cursed herself for only being able to think of dead people related lies. This seemed to consistently happen to her! Curse of her job she supposed.

"Oh no!" Alexis sounded horrified, "I'm so sorry".

"That is to say," Lanie tried to rectify the situation, "my grandmother died a really long time ago, when I was ten".

"Oh?" Alexis now sounded puzzled.

"_At least that wasn't a lie,"_ thought Lanie, before continuing out loud, "My family gathers every year in her memory". That was another lie, but now that she'd thought of it Lanie realized it would be a nice thing to do. Maybe she'd start a new tradition.

"Okay," Alexis accepted this, "so you're busy with family stuff?"

"Yep, sorry Alexis".

"No it's okay, I completely understand and my dad's not your responsibility anyway. What about Esposito? Or Ryan? Are they both working tomorrow?"

"I'm afraid they are kid," Lanie thought carefully for a moment before continuing, "but, you know, I just checked on Detective Beckett and I think she's going to be fine by tomorrow".

"Really?" relief flooded Alexis' voice.

"Yep," Lanie stated, crossing her fingers that she wasn't lying.

"That's great! Thanks Lanie! I think my dad will be happy that she's back".

Huh, thought Lanie, wondering how truthful her conversation with Beckett had been. Kate had never lied to her before, and based on how upset she'd sounded she hadn't been lying on purpose but…if Castle didn't want her around why would he be happy if she came back?

"Alexis?" Lanie tried to phrase the next question lightly, to give the impression that she was only slightly curious, "Why would your dad be happy?"

"Um," Alexis sounded surprised, "he just seems really sad since she left. He keeps glancing at where she was lying on the couch and when she was sleeping," Alexis released the following information in a rush, "he-stroked-her-head".

"He what?" Lanie exclaimed, completely lost. And when had Kate been sleeping anyway?

"Um, he like," Alexis realized that Lanie had no idea what she was talking about, "well, when I came home she was asleep on the couch and before he woke her up he ran his fingers through her hair".

"I see," Lanie said, even though she really didn't.

"It's just," Alexis felt uncomfortable admitting this to Lanie and so her voice softened, "I thought that he'd be happier when she was gone. That her being around was hurting him too much. But now that she's left he just seems miserable," Alexis swallowed to stop herself from crying as she continued, "He's still in a lot of pain and now he's sad too!"

A slight smile returned to her voice as she continued, "I wanted her gone too because I thought she was hurting him. Don't get me wrong, she is…or she was…I don't really know what was going on, but I do know he needs her back here for now".

Lanie shook her head. This had gotten so far out of hand. She berated herself for not taking more logic courses in college, because maybe she would have figured this whole stupid thing out way earlier.

* * *

Castle spent about an hour staring at the spot where Beckett had last sat before jumping up in frustration. He forgot about his stitches and hissed as they pulled. He took a few slow breaths but refused to sink back down onto the couch.

"Dad?" Alexis said, her voice full of concern as she entered the room.

Her dad was standing by the couch, well, if looking like you were about to faint could be called standing. His hand was clutched to his side where he'd gotten stitches and Alexis gasped as she saw a small amount of blood blossoming on his shirt.

"Dad!" her voice sharp and terrified, "Your stitches".

He looked down at his side, pressing his hand more forcefully over the injury before ordering, "Get me a new piece of gauze".

"I think," Alexis gave her father a confounded look, "I think you pulled out your stitches! We need to take you to the hospital".

"No," he growled at her, "we don't have time for that. I have to go talk to Beckett!"

"Dad," Alexis said calmly, walking toward her father and easily forcing him to sit back down on the couch.

"Alexis," he looked at her with fear in his eyes, "I really need to talk to her".

"Okay, dad," Alexis said soothingly, "but can it wait until tomorrow morning?"

"Tomorrow morning?"

"She's coming back then, Lanie promised me," Alexis said with total confidence.

"Oh," relief bloomed on Castle's face, "tomorrow morning".

He nodded at his daughter, the tension draining away, "Yes, I can wait until tomorrow morning".

"Good," Alexis slowly peeled back his shirt before giving a little gasp, "because I think you may have been lucky this time," she peered at his stitches through the blood, making sure they were intact, "but you are not," she looked at him sternly, "jumping around anytime soon. Or I won't let Detective Beckett come back! Got it?"

Castle grinned at his daughter, "Got it".

* * *

Beckett wasn't sure what time she'd fallen asleep or whether she'd really been sleeping at all. After she'd ended the conversation with Lanie she'd been so sure she would fall asleep. Instead she'd tossed and turned on her bed before finally falling into a restless daze. But now (she noticed the early morning sun shining through her curtains) it was morning. And something had woken her up.

She sat up abruptly in bed as she realized that someone was pounding on her front door. Kate groaned in annoyance. Was this some new trend she wasn't aware of? How many more morning would she get woken up by frantic knocking? She knew she was more irritated than necessary, but the lack of sleeping was getting to her, and all she wanted to do was lie back down, close her eyes, and pull the covers over her head.

Instead, she stood up and headed toward her front door. She peeked through her peephole before unlocking the door and letting it swing open.

"Good morning sunshine!" Lanie said perkily, brushing past Beckett and into the apartment.

"Lanie?" Kate was confused; they hadn't made plans…had they? No. She distinctly remembered telling Lanie she did not need to come over.

"I brought coffee!" Lanie chirped, gesturing with her head toward her hands which were currently occupied with two paper cups.

"Great, thanks." Beckett said automatically, "But Lanie, what are you doing here? I told you I just wanted to be left alone".

Lanie shook her head adamantly, "No one really wants to be left alone".

"I did!" Kate exclaimed irritably.

"No one," Lanie placed the cups on the table before walking over to her friend and encircling one arm gently around her, "not even you Katherine Beckett". She gave a little squeeze and then let go before reaching over to grab a cup of coffee off the table. Wordlessly she handed it to Kate.

Beckett startled at the contact. She and Lanie did not hug. What was with all these unexpected people hugging her? Shaking her head she accepted the coffee. She took a sip and had to admit that even after that small hit of caffeine she felt a little better.

"Why are you really here?" she asked Lanie suspiciously.

"To take you back to Castle's," Lanie said.

"No!" Beckett exclaimed, spinning on her heel and retreating to her bedroom.

* * *

_AN: As I was writing this I became concerned that it was a little OOC for Beckett. But after having re-watched 5x05 I've decided that like all people Kate does occasionally have emotional breakdowns._

_As always, thanks for the reviews! I know that several of you are upset that Castle and Beckett are drifting further apart but I promise that (in this story at least) what's happening will bring them closer together. I decided to finish up this chapter today so that when I release tomorrow's you guys will finally get a bit of closure!_


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: If I said these characters belonged to me it would be the same as Castle saying he doesn't love Beckett…a lie.

_Previously on 'Down the Road':_

"_Why are you really here?" she asked Lanie suspiciously._

"_To take you back to Castle's," Lanie said._

"_No!" Beckett exclaimed, spinning on her heel and retreating to her bedroom._

Chapter Thirteen

Lanie stared after her friend dejectedly shaking her head, _"Why am I always the one who fixes things?" _Letting out a little "humph" of annoyance she followed Beckett into the bedroom.

Kate was standing at her window staring outside. She wasn't really looking at anything she was just trying to get her bearings, to stop the emotional onslaught. The last thing she needed was to offend Lanie. She didn't think she could stomach losing any more friends.

"Kate," Lanie reached up and gently touched her friend's shoulder. She realized the depth of Beckett's anguish when the hand wasn't immediately brushed aside.

"Kate, look at me".

"I can't deal with this right now," Beckett choked. "Why do you want me to go back? He doesn't want me there. He told me to leave".

"Honey," Lanie felt horrible about the white lie she was about to tell, but she couldn't think of a way around it. "He wants you to come back. He asked me to come get you".

"Really?" Kate turned around and looked at Lanie, disbelief on her face.

"Really," Lanie said.

Beckett stared at Lanie's facing, willing her years of training in interrogation techniques to pay off. Hope flashed in her eyes before fading, and she turned back to face the window, "No he didn't".

Lanie sighed, "Maybe not. But Kate? Alexis says he wants you there. And you know what? I think she might be right".

Kate shook her head.

"And you know what else Kate Beckett? You're miserable right now," Lanie tried to think of the right thing to say next.

"You think?" Beckett grumbled sarcastically.

Lanie ignored the sarcasm and continued, "Yes, girl, and I don't think—I know. You're miserable and you need to deal with that. Right now. Today. You need to talk to him, really talk to him. Give him a final chance to explain himself. If he can't, or he won't, well, then you can give up. But not now. Not like this".

Lanie paused for a moment. Kate seemed to be thinking.

"Come with me and I'll drive you to the loft".

Beckett took a deep breath before turning to face Lanie, "Okay".

* * *

Castle woke up feeling tense. He'd had a restless night, which was really weird because he'd slept fine the last two nights. Better than fine, his sleep had been great. But last night sleep hadn't been forthcoming and he knew why: Beckett.

He was tense about the way he'd handled things with her. Had she hurt him? Yes, of course she had. He wasn't ready to forgive her for that. She had lied about so many things. But he loved her. He'd tried to hide it, tried to get rid of it, but it wasn't fading. In the last twelve hours he'd resigned himself to it.

He recalled the panic that he'd felt the day before when he'd realized that she might really be gone for good. It had overwhelmed him to the point that his pain had disappeared. He hadn't even noticed the bleeding until his daughter pointed it out!

He wasn't really sure where they could go from here. When Beckett got back (he glanced at the clock on his bedside table and frowned, shouldn't she be here by now?), when she got back he didn't know what to say to her. They both knew he hadn't asked her to leave because she wasn't feeling well. She hadn't really been sick at all. She could have easily slept off the rest of the hangover and been perfectly fine. He'd asked her to leave for other reasons. She'd have to be a fool to miss that.

His bedroom door creaked open and his eyes snapped to it, half hoping that it was Beckett, half hoping that it wasn't. After all, he hadn't figured out what he was going to say to her yet. He felt both disappointment and relief as his daughter entered the room.

"Hi Dad," Alexis smiled at him, "I have to leave for school but I thought I'd drop off some Tylenol first".

Castle opened his mouth to ask her where Beckett was.

"Beckett," Alexis continued reading her father's mind "is going to be a little late. Lanie's giving her a ride over". A puzzled frown flashed across Alexis' face, "Which is weird because Lanie's busy all day with a family thing. But whatever, Kate'll be here soon and you'll be fine, yeah?"

She looked at her dad hopefully, pleased to see that the emotional anguish from the day before appeared to have lessened.

"Of course, Alexis," Castle smiled back at his daughter, "I'm a grown adult. I can even look after myself!"

"That," Alexis laughed as she left the room, "remains to be seen".

* * *

"Go on girl," Lanie ordered, practically shoving Beckett out of the car, "he's not going to bite".

Beckett turned and gave Lanie her best glare.

"Just talk to him," Lanie pleaded with her friend, her voice softening.

"Okay," Beckett said, making no move to head toward the apartment building.

"Beckett!" Lanie actually looked around her car for something to throw at the detective.

"Okay!" Beckett huffed, "I'm going, all right?"

"Yes, it is perfectly all right," Lanie mimicked Kate's tone, "and Beckett?"

Lanie's eyes softened again as she looked at her friend, "Either way, it really will be all right".

"Thanks Lanie," Beckett said again, before squaring her shoulders and walking into the building.

* * *

He'd managed to make it downstairs and to the couch by himself. For some reason he was really proud of that fact, even though he knew being proud of such a simple task was completely ridiculous. It had taken him about fifteen minutes just to navigate the stairs, so he should probably feel pathetic instead.

When he heard the doorbell he was relieved he'd gotten there when he had, otherwise whoever was on the other side of the door would have to wait a half hour just to be let in!

He shuffled to the door and swung it open, surprised at how pleased he was to see Beckett standing in front of him.

They gazed at each other awkwardly for a moment, and he couldn't help but notice how tired she looked.

"Come in," he motioned, stepping back to allow her entry.

She shrugged out of her coat and he was surprised to see that she was still wearing the dress he'd admired so much the day before. His eyes took in the outfit and her posture and he wondered if she'd slept at all.

She hung up her coat and then turned to face him. "Hi," she whispered shyly.

"Hey," he said in response, and then he just stood there. He didn't know what else to say. What would the public think? The famous Richard Castle, finally wordless!

"You look tired," were the next words that came out of his mouth, and he wanted to slap himself in the face.

"Yeah," Beckett admitted, still not quite meeting his gaze, "I didn't really sleep".

"I'm sorry," he said honestly, "is something wrong?"

He was shocked when he saw her look up at him, her eyes full of tears.

"Kate?" he stepped closer to her and pushing his own fears aside he pulled her to him.

"Castle?" she gasped, squirming out of his grasp.

"Come on, Kate," he moved close to her again and gently put a hand on her shoulder, "tell me what's wrong".

She was sobbing now and he didn't know what do with himself. He had never seen Beckett like this before. She was the strong one. He was going to kill whoever had hurt her like this.

"You," she sobbed.

"Me?" Castle stepped back like he'd been smacked.

He spun her around, forcing her to look him in the face, "What did I do to you?" he yelled. He couldn't believe she was accusing him of this…whatever this was. After all the pain and suffering she'd caused him, how dare she be the one to have an emotional breakdown!

Her eyes widen slightly and that was all he needed to bring him back to earth. What was he thinking? Grabbing her arms and yelling in her face? He let go of her and took an unsteady step backward.

Castle still wanted a response to his question. Still wanted to know why she was blaming him for whatever was going wrong in her life, and so he asked again more calmly, "What did I do to you?"

"You," she looked up at him, finally meeting his eyes before shaking her head, "I can't talk about this".

"No!" he was angry again, furious even, and he took a step toward her. "Kate! You cannot do this to me! You can't cry and accuse me of something when I don't even know what it is! How dare you! After all the crap I've had to deal with the last year?"

"What?" It was Beckett's turn to sound confused. She angrily brushed her tears aside, before continuing in a sob-filled voice, "What do you mean?"

"I told you Kate," he paced in front of her, unable to stand still in his anger, "I told you that I loved you!"

He heard a little gasp when he said that, but he ignored her and kept talking, "And you let me believe that you might be able to feel the same way! I thought you asked me for time, and I was willing to wait, but then I found out you'd just been stringing me along!"

"What?"

"I'm not some fucking puppy, content to follow you around forever. I'm a man Kate, I have actual feelings! And you just, you ignored them. You let me hope when all along it was, what, some sort of game to you?"

Beckett grabbed Castle's arm, shoving him slightly, "A game? That's what you think this relationship is? A fucking game?"

Castle laughed sardonically, "What relationship?"

She just stared at him, refusing to weaken her grasp on his arm.

Shaking his head he continued more quietly, "I heard you, you know? I know you lied! I heard you tell that kid that you remembered everything from your shooting," he looked her right in the eyes, "everything!"

At that she let go of his arm, letting herself stumble backward. _"He heard?"_

She took a deep breath and tried to figure out what to say. She was surprised that he was just standing there looking at her. He looked pissed off and upset, but he wasn't getting in her face, he wasn't even saying anything. He was just waiting to hear her response.

"We need to talk," she finally said, reaching for his hand. He brushed her off, the pain still too fresh.

"Please Castle," Kate whispered, "let me just try to explain".

He looked down at her gazing up at him and nodded slightly.

She stood for another full minute, playing with the watch on her wrist, before she looked him in the eyes again. "Yes, I heard you in that cemetery," she began.

He felt his stomach clench but his eyes were unable to leave her face.

"I heard you and it helped me," she saw that he didn't believe her, "honestly, Castle, more than anything those words helped me get through that day. But…afterwards I wasn't ready, I couldn't deal with the thought of losing anyone else, and I was afraid that was what would ultimately happen if we became…involved".

"Bullshit Kate," Castle said, "you left for three months! You didn't call or text or email. That's not the action of someone who's afraid of losing a friend".

"Maybe I believed in you too much, I don't know, but I just knew you'd be there when I came back" Kate shrugged at this, because she really had believed in him that totally. Maybe she'd been wrong.

"And I was".

She nodded slowly, "And you were".

"So what then? You decided you didn't want to be in a relationship with me, but you still wanted to be friends? Why didn't you tell me that?" his voice got louder as his annoyance grew, "Why the fuck didn't you tell me that? Why did you lead me on? Don't deny those little comments you threw my way!"

Kate shook her head again, "I'm not denying anything. But, Castle? I did want to be in a relationship with you".

He gasped, he felt like someone had punched him in the stomach.

She reached for his hand again and this time he let her take it, "When I came back I was still screwed up, still broken, you know that," she took a deep breath before she began to speak honestly about herself, something that she rarely did, "I was damaged goods. The PTSD," she paused looking up to meet his eyes.

She was surprised at the emotion she saw radiating back at her. Maybe he did still care after all.

"I've been seeing someone," she continued. He pulled his hand from her grasp. "No," she grabbed his hand again, "not like that. I've been seeing a therapist".

He felt his heartbeat slow again.

"This," she gestured between them, "was never going to be work when I was so fucked up. And I needed it to work, because I couldn't lose you too".

He saw the truth in her eyes as she gazed up at him, her hands tightly wrapped around his.

* * *

_AN: That was probably one of the hardest scenes for me to write. I hate writing Castle that angry, but I felt that it was necessary for the story to progress. Let me know what you think._


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: 100% not my characters. The words are mine though.

_Previously on 'Down the Road:'_

_Kate shook her head again, "I'm not denying anything. But, Castle? I did want to be in a relationship with you"._

_He gasped, he felt like someone had punched him in the stomach._

"_This," she gestured between them, "was never going to be work when I was so fucked up. And I needed it to work, because I couldn't lose you too"._

_He saw the truth in her eyes as she gazed up at him, her hands tightly wrapped around his. _

Chapter Fourteen

"You do believe me, don't you?" Beckett asked staring at his face.

He pushed her against the wall, and she was overwhelmed by the emotion in his eyes. She was almost worried that he was going to punch her, to hurt her in exchange for all the pain she'd caused him. "Beckett," he moaned, pushing her all the way against the wall as he attacked her with his mouth instead. As soon as she felt his lips on hers she felt herself relax, even though her heartbeat increased exponentially.

He teased her lips open with his tongue, and she parted her mouth to allow him entry. He kissed her forcefully and she responded in kind, letting her tongue tangle with his. He pulled back from her for just a second. "God," she muttered, trying hard to catch her breath. She looked up to see Castle staring at her intensely, "Tell me you want me".

She leaned forward and kissed him again, lightly and sweetly this time. "Castle, I want you so much".

"Yeah?" he grinned at her.

"So, so much," she stated.

Castle pushed her against the wall again and kissed her deeply. The passion overtook them and they kissed so intensely that both of them were panting heavily. Castle suddenly needed to feel more of her, and he put his hands against the wall on either side of her, pushing his pelvis against hers. He ground into her and she whimpered slightly as he drew his mouth away from hers and reached a hand to pull the strap of her dress down. Leaning forward he kissed her shoulder, never stopping the pressure on her pelvis. He kissed his way back to her mouth once again easing his tongue inside.

"Castle," Kate moaned, burrowing her face into his neck as he leaned down again to kiss her shoulder. She needed him closer to her, needed to feel him. She reached down and stroked his crotch, relishing as he gasped in shock. She leaned forward and kissed him leaving her hand where it was.

"Kateee," he groaned. He hardened as her hand continued to stroke him harder and harder.

"Feels good," he mumbled. Her hand momentarily stilled before she ran her hand over him again, starting at his waistband and running it downward. "Soo good," he stuttered, panting heavily.

Castle reached out his own hand and used it to push Kate's dress above her waist. He ran his hand over her stomach and she groaned slightly. Letting his hand slip downward, he reached between her legs and moaned as he touched the wetness of her panties. "Oh!" Kate let out a gasp of pleasure. "Castle," she groaned, her hand slipping away from him as he eased his own over the damp silk. He ran his hand back and forth, gently rubbing her and loving how wet she was becoming for him. Kate reached up and ran her hands over his back, pulling him closer to her as he continued to touch her.

He removed his hand for a moment, plastering her body against the wall as he rubbed himself against her.

"Shirt. Off." Kate gasped, barely able to say the words. She just needed to feel his skin on hers.

Castle leaned back slightly, refusing to let his crotch leave hers. Distracted by his hardness, she reached down and touched him briefly before she regained focus.

Hands shaking Kate reached up to pull Castle's t-shirt over his head. She tossed the shirt on the ground and pulled him toward her again, running her hands across his bare back.

"You." He grunted, pulling himself away from her again. He liked the dress on her, he'd wanted her ever since he'd first seen her in it, and so he didn't take it off completely. Instead he fumbled with the buttons on the front, undoing enough so that he could expose her bra. He undid it quickly and threw it on the ground, staring in admiration at her breasts.

"Castle!" Kate exclaimed, drawing him back into the present. As soon as he heard her say his name he let out a heavy breath before leaning forward and palming both her breasts with his hand.

"Castle!" Kate released his name again pleasure rolling over her as he backed her against the wall once again and bent forward to trace her nipple with his tongue.

He kept his mouth on her breasts, sucking on her gently, as he let his hand drift back between her legs. He slid it under the dress and withdrew it again when he felt her underwear. "Castle," Kate begged.

He kissed her deeply on the mouth, again on the breasts, and then pulled her dress up so that he could kiss her stomach. She tensed slightly as his warm mouth touched her cool skin. "Okay?" he asked, immediately picking up on her reaction. "Uh huh," Kate murmured, unable to say anything else as he kissed his way downward. He kissed the silky wetness between her legs and she moaned in pleasure. He returned to her stomach, kissing it again as he repeated his way downward. When he reached the waistband of her panties he used his teeth to gently ease it off. He needed to feel all of her again, and he raised himself up to push against her as he found her mouth. They kissed intensely again, hands still as they got caught up in the intensity, unable to focus on anything except each others' mouths.

Simultaneously they reached down to touch. Kate's hand brushing the hardness that was straining against Castle's pants as he stroked her between her legs. She gasped as his fingers entered her, pushing her in all the right places. She let her own hand drop, suddenly unable to do anything except stand there as she felt the slow and steady build-up in her abdomen. "God. Castle". Kate gasped as he stroked her deeper, he curved his two fingers and continued touching her as he added his thumb, pushing her right where she wanted. Kate felt herself losing control, the build-up getting more and more powerful as he intensified his touch. Her legs began to shake uncontrollably, and if Castle hadn't been pushing her against the wall she would have collapsed on the floor. His hand still working Castle found Kate's mouth again and kissed her gently, the speed of his kisses in direct contradiction to the speed of his hand. "Come on," he panted, "Kate. You know you want this". He leaned against her and whispered into her ear, pleading with her, "Beckett". At the sound of him saying her name she finally let go, screaming his name in response as the orgasm hit her. He rubbed his thumb gently across her spot as he returned his attention to her mouth, trying to help her lengthen the waves of release that were washing over her.

As she came down from her orgasm Kate collapsed against Castle, her legs still shaking uncontrollably. "God," she muttered, tucking her head in the curve of his neck.

"Good?" he asked, gently running a hand over her back.

"So good," she mumbled, kissing him gently on his shoulder.

After another minute of just breathing, Beckett pulled away to look Castle in his face. "What about you?" she asked.

"It was enough just watching you let go," Castle assured her, meaning every word of it.

"No, Rick," Kate replied, and he shivered as she said his first name. She gazed at him and grinned, "I can still feel you, you know?"

He looked at her puzzled before she reached down and found the tie on his pajama pants.

"Kate?" he pulled her hands away for a minute, "I know you're tired, you don't have to do this right now".

"No," Beckett shook her head adamantly, her eyes darkening with desire, "I need you now".

She pulled his pajama pants down first and then reached up again to pull down his boxers. He wasn't as hard as he'd been before, mainly because he'd been trying to calm himself, thinking that Kate would be too tired to continue. Beckett smiled at him and crouched down, helping Castle lift his feet out of the tangle of clothes. He expected her to stand up again, but instead she leaned forward, running her tongue from the tip to the top of the shaft. "God Kate," he moaned, threading his hand through her hair and pulling her mouth closer to him. She ran her tongue over him again.

She stood up then and kissed him softly, "Just trying to get you hard again".

"Mission achieved", he grinned, before getting distracted again by her bare breasts. He took her in his mouth and flicked his tongue over her nipple.

Beckett took control and ordered, "Couch. Now".

They approached the living room, stopping every few moments to kiss. As soon as they got near the couch Beckett pushed Castle backward, forcing him into a sitting position. Lifting the skirt of her dress she straddled him, relishing the way it felt as their bare skin touched for the first time.

"Feels. So. Good", Castle panted as Beckett began to grind against him. He slipped his hand down again and slipped a finger between her legs, "You're so wet" he moaned in amazement as she continued to grind against him. He couldn't believe how hard he was getting and it took every ounce of strength not to take control, to push her back against the couch cushion and shove himself into her. She surrounded the base of his shaft with her hand and stroked it gently with one finger as she gyrated her hips against him. "In me," she moaned, "now Castle".

He suddenly felt frantic, realizing that he didn't have a condom nearby. Why would he? He didn't typically have sex in the middle of his living room. "Kate," he said breathlessly, his voice full of apology, "I don't have a—". She seemed to immediately know what he was saying, their synchronicity finally returning. "Clean?" she mumbled into his mouth as she kissed him. She pulled her head away briefly to look him in the eyes. He nodded staring back at her, seeing his own trust in her reflected back. "Me too," Kate moaned. She ground into him a few more times before begging, "In me. Right now. Please". He reached his hands down and lifted her hips off of him, leaning back further into the couch as he angled himself toward her. He gently helped her drift onto him, and she gave a soft moan as she felt him fill her for the first time. "Castle," she mumbled, before beginning to ride him gently.

He didn't want her to do all the work, and so he spun them around, pushing her down into the couch as his feet hit the floor. Still in her he raised her legs so that they were tucked behind his back and braced his arms against the couch on either side of her before pushing himself deeper into her, "Yes," she moaned, "So. So. Good". She used her legs to help him enter her more deeply, he was worried about hurting her, but when she begged him to go harder he pushed up on the balls of his feet driving himself into her even deeper. "Oh," Kate moaned again, pulling his chest towards her and rubbing her breasts across it. "Oh," Castle echoed, loving the feeling of her hardened nipples on his chest. He drove into her again and again, the sweat of both their bodies mixing until they were slick against each other.

He could feel her building up again, and even though he wanted to let go so badly, he wanted to feel her collapse around him. He again added his hand, slipping his thumb inside her as he continued to let her legs force him deep within her. "So good, so wet," he mumbled into her ear as he stroked the spot she liked. She let out a little gasp of pain, and he realized immediately that she was still too sensitive from the earlier orgasm. Knowing instinctively what she wanted, he instead pushed hard against her spot, adopting a steady rhythm as he hit the rest of her with his erection. "OH Castle!" she gasped as her walls began to contract. She tried to still herself as she opened her eyes to meet his, "Ready?"

"Oh God, Kate," Castle panted, "so ready". She let herself go then, and gasped as the orgasm hit her, way more powerful than the last. As soon as he felt her let go he couldn't control himself any longer and he succumbed to his own release. He groaned in pleasure as they rode out their orgasms together.

Sweaty he collapsed on top of her unable to summon the energy to move. They both tried desperately to catch their breath.

Castle finally managed to roll off of her, finding the energy only because he was afraid of suffocating her. He leaned over and kissed her on the mouth before reaching up and pushing the sweaty hair out of her face. He pulled her toward him and tucked her against his side, leaning in to plant a kiss behind her ear.

After several minutes Castle turned to Kate and said with a grin, "Good thing I broke my left arm not my right".

* * *

_AN: Corny I know, but I think Castle would feel the need to make Beckett laugh so that she wouldn't be stressed after sex._

_I give you permission (not that you need it!) to tell me if this was terrible. I've never written smut before so give me feedback! Do you want me to try again in future chapters, or should I leave it out of the rest of the story?_


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada.

_Previously on 'Down the Road':_

_He leaned over and kissed her on the mouth before reaching up and pushing the sweaty hair out of her face. He pulled her toward him and tucked her against his side, leaning in to plant a kiss behind her ear._

Chapter Fifteen

He woke up to the sound of an incoming text message. Beckett was draped over him, her head on his shoulder and the rest of her body sprawled across his. Her dress was bunched up around her waist and that was pretty much the only part of her body it was covering. He ran a hand down her back and over her ass before resting it on her leg. He couldn't control his glee, _"he got the girl!"_ He kissed the top of her head gently. His phone beeped again, reminding him that he'd just received a text message.

He put an arm around Beckett, holding her to him as he reached to grab his phone. He ignored the shooting pain from his injuries. He wasn't letting go of her anytime soon.

The text was from Alexis: _Just checking that Det Beckett showed up._

He stifled a chuckle, afraid of waking the woman who was sleeping in his arms.

_She's here. We talked. Everything OK._

Within seconds his phone beeped again.

_You sure?_

He shook his head at his daughter who was too smart for her own good.

_I promise. She's looking after me now. Don't worry so much!_

His phone beeped again.

_It's my job to worry._

He replied:

_Stop stealing my lines! See you later :)_

He put his phone on the couch next to them and kissed Kate's forehead. She stirred and opened her eyes. She sat up slightly and he was worried that she was going to leave him, but his worry dissipated as she leaned down and kissed him.

It wasn't like the kisses from the night before. It wasn't forceful or even particularly passionate. It was a "hello, I'm here" kind of kiss and he loved it.

He drew her back down toward his chest and she snuggled closer to him. God he loved this woman!

"What do you want to do today?" He asked as he began running his fingers through her hair.

"Well," he heard the smile in her voice, "I think some of us might be injured".

"Right," he suddenly remembered the accident, and let his hand casually drift to his side to make sure he wasn't bleeding again. She didn't know about how he'd pulled his stitches the day before and if he could help it she wouldn't ever know. If she really was that frightened of losing him (after last night he had no problem believing she was) he didn't think she needed to deal with the fact that she might be partially responsible for him getting injured again. He hurt all over but he wasn't going to tell her that. Gazing down at her it wasn't hard to ignore the pain.

"Did something make you forget?" She asked her voice still warm and slightly sultry.

"I think," he said completely seriously, "that something helped very much".

"Hmm," she mumbled, kissing his chest.

He let his hand drift up to cup her ass. She continued to plant little kisses.

"Alexis," he continued and Kate suddenly stilled, "gave me a multivitamin this morning. And it's made me feel," he made sure to put extra emphasis on the rest of his sentence, "so much better".

Kate sat up in his lap and smacked him lightly.

He grinned at her and she laughed as he pulled her face toward his. He kissed her lightly before letting go.

"Honestly Beckett," he grinned at her, "I really would like to have a replay of this morning's events, but I think we may have to wait a little while".

Kate instantly looked concerned, "Are you okay? What hurts?"

"Baby," Kate felt her heart jump at the affectionate term, "calm down. I'm not hurt any worse than I was yesterday. But I am still sore and if you don't mind just sitting with me, well, that would make me feel a lot better".

Castle kissed her again, more chastely this time.

"It's not that I don't want you," he assured her, "believe me I do, but for today—"

Beckett interrupted him, moving to sit next to him on the couch and threading her arm through his.

"For today this is perfect," she said leaning her head against the shoulder.

"TV?" he asked.

"Mmm".

"Temptation Lane?"

He felt her smile into his shoulder, "Perfect".

* * *

At a certain point Castle's stomach strategically groaned. Beckett gave a snort of laughter and wordlessly stood up and headed toward the kitchen.

While she was gone Castle cautiously stood up and went to retrieve his clothing. For one thing, he was getting cold, even with the warmth of Beckett pressed against him. At least she was wearing the dress! He had been totally naked. For another thing, Alexis would be getting home from school in the afternoon and he didn't think she needed to know her dad had had sex the moment she walked through the door.

After he'd gotten his clothes back on (not an easy feat with his injuries) he bent down cautiously and picked up Beckett's bra and panties. He smiled at the simple action. If someone had told him a day before that he'd be anywhere near Beckett's underwear he would have declared him insane on the spot.

Beckett came up behind him and asked him sternly, "What are you doing with those?"

"Hey! I'm just cleaning here!" Castle whined slightly.

She laughed, a sound that he was starting to enjoy immensely, and wrapped her arms around him, effectively hugging him from behind.

"I'm glad to see you find cleanliness so important," She grinned.

"Oh yes," he baited her, "I even shower from time to time".

"Do you?" she asked, gently leaning down and nipping his shoulder with her teeth before kissing it better.

He turned around then, unable to deal with not seeing her face for a moment longer, and pulled her toward him. He kissed her passionately, both of them suddenly so eager that their teeth clicked together.

"I thought," Kate moaned through the kisses, "that we weren't going to do this again today".

She suddenly pulled away completely, exhibiting what Castle thought was remarkable self control.

"Isn't this," she grinned slightly, "exactly where this happened last time?"

"Well," Castle grinned back, "I'm no detective, but based on where I just found your bra and panties, I'd say this is the exact scene of the crime".

"Speaking of showering," Kate began, and Castle felt himself perk up, "I think you may need a cold one".

She turned and sauntered back toward the kitchen leaving Castle staring after her.

* * *

By the time he joined her in the kitchen she already had water boiling. He noticed with some disappointment that she'd also put her bra and underwear back on and buttoned the dress.

"Penne or little wheels?" She asked as he walked toward her.

"You're seriously asking me that?"

She chucked, shaking her head as she said, "Little wheels".

Beckett poured the pasta into the water and then continued, "You know you're very predictable?"

"Why, because I like things that are more interesting?"

"No," she leaned down to turn the water to a rolling boil, "because you like the little wheels because they remind you of cowboys".

She snapped her head up to see his reaction and knew instantly that she had been right.

"How do you know that?" he wondered out loud.

"Because Rick," he felt his heart flutter as she said his first name, "I know you". And she leaned forward and kissed him deeply. They began to get lost in the kiss and Castle wondered how long her bra and panties would stay on for.

"I'm home!" they heard shouted from the other room and Kate leapt out of Castle's arms.

By the time Alexis entered the kitchen Kate was standing at the stove stirring the pasta.

* * *

"What are you doing home so early?" Castle asked his daughter slightly suspiciously.

"Dad!" she rolled her eyes which instantly reminded him of Beckett (but what didn't remind him of Beckett?), "I told you I had a big exam today!"

"Yes…" He actually remembered that conversation.

"Well, on AP exam days we always have half-days".

"Right," he nodded, but he was still slightly distracted. Mainly because his mind was running through worst case scenarios:

Alexis coming home while he was naked on the couch with Beckett. Alexis coming home while he was naked in the hall. Alexis coming home while he was almost naked in the kitchen.

Really any scenario that involved him being naked was a scenario that gave him heart palpitations.

"Dad?" Alexis asked, curious at his silence.

As he looked at his daughter he couldn't help glancing at Kate. She was hiding a smirk behind her hand and he knew full well that she'd followed his train of thought.

"Lunch?" he asked his daughter, "Beckett made pasta".

Alexis walked over to the pot and peeked in side, "Wheels, Dad? Could you be any more of a kid?"

"Probably not," Kate said to Alexis sagely.

Alexis grinned at the detective and nodded her head, "Yep, he's a lost cause".

* * *

After a simple dinner of pasta with sauce Alexis stood to leave the table.

"Detec—Kate," she asked, "Are you staying tonight?"

"Oh, well," Kate was suddenly flustered.

"Tomorrow's Friday and I still have school. I think someone needs to look after my dad for at least one more day. Can you do it?"

"Yes, Kate, can you look after me?" Castle said from behind his daughter. He had absolutely no sexual inflection in his tone, but he raised his eyebrows at her suggestively.

Beckett felt herself blush slightly, but thankfully the teen didn't notice.

"My dad already told me you looked after him today," Alexis continued.

"He what?" Beckett yelped.

"He told me," Alexis seemed slightly puzzled, "that you looked after him?"

Castle shot Beckett a reassuring glare.

"Oh, right, yes, I mean, I did".

"Well," Alexis smiled at Kate, "Thanks. So, you'll stay?"

"Yeah," Beckett looked behind Alexis to meet Castle's eyes, "I'll stay".

* * *

As soon as Alexis went upstairs Beckett began to pace around the living room.

"Beckett?" Castle was puzzled.

"I can't! Not with your daughter in the house! What was I thinking? You have a daughter. I didn't even think about your daughter!"

Castle walked over to Beckett. She stopped pacing.

"Kate," he began, "I always think about my daughter". He grinned briefly, "Well, not always", he raised an eyebrow suggestively before continuing in a more serious tone, "but I take her feelings into account".

"But," Beckett whispered hesitantly, "she doesn't like me". Her eyes gazed at the floor, unable to meet those of the man in front of her.

"Beckett," he placed a finger under her chin, raising her head so that she was looking at him, "She will like you. She's a teenager, these things take time, but it will all be okay".

He leaned down and kissed Kate gently. She acquiesced at first before breaking away and beginning to pace again.

"We can't do that here!" She said nervously, "Not with your daughter in the house".

"Then come to bed".

"What did I just say? Your daughter is in the house!"

He groaned inwardly. Why did it always have to be so complicated with this woman? He loved her, but honestly, sometimes he just—Castle paused as he let his eyes trace her face.

"Kate!" he walked over, placing his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him, trying to steady her nerves.

"Sweetheart," he continued, the endearment effectively ending any hope she had of calm nerves, "You're exhausted".

She just looked at him. He was right of course. The sleepless nights had completely caught up to her. And the sex hadn't helped much; she couldn't help a glimmer of a smile from flitting across her face.

"Thinking of earlier, are we?" Castle asked jokingly.

God, that man was egotistical, but he was right. He often was.

Castle continued as though he hadn't said anything, "Kate, come here".

He pulled her into his arms and walked backwards towards a chair.

"We'll sit in this chair and if she sees us in it she won't even think about sex. Though, now that I mention it," Castle grinned down at Beckett wiggling his eyebrows.

"Castle." She warned.

"Right, but she won't. We're fully clothed and everything," he drew her closer to him and she allowed herself to fall against his chest. "Get some sleep baby, I'm not going anywhere". Castle kissed the top of her head before encircling his arms around her, using his hand without a cast to trace patterns on her back.

Letting herself relax into him Beckett closed her eyes and drifted into sleep.

* * *

___Some of you suggested that Castle having sex so soon after his injury was a bit much. It probably was. But let's just say that the adrenaline blocked the pain. I mean, isn't sex supposed to release endorphins or something? :)_

_I hope that I did the morning after justice. It was another tricky thing to write. As always, thanks in advance for your comments!_


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: At this point I think it's obvious.

Chapter Sixteen

Opening her eyes Kate felt a sense of calm roll over her. She instantly knew where she was and who she was with. Sighing, she buried her face deeper into Castle's chest, and his arms immediately tightened around her. Raising her head she glanced upward, curious to see if he was awake. But no, he was sleeping upright in the chair, his head drooped forward and his mouth slightly ajar. Beckett had to admit that he looked a little ridiculous, but she didn't care.

Making sure to keep her body relaxed so as not to wake the man who was holding her, Kate raised her arm and glanced at her watch. It was a little after six-thirty in the morning, still early, but for the first time in weeks she felt completely rested. She let her eyes drift shut again; maybe this was what being content felt like.

Seconds later her eyes flew open. _"Shit!"_ she thought, trying to remember what time Alexis got up for school. Their current positions might not indicate sex, but they certainly suggested something. And since she wasn't sure what that something was yet, she had no interest in debating it with Castle's teenage daughter.

Castle woke up the second Kate's body left his arms. "Beckett?" he mumbled, rubbing his arm across his face to try and get rid of any remnants of sleep. He looked frantically around the room.

Catching sight of her standing at his office window he couldn't help but just stop for a minute and stare at her. She looked beautiful, the early morning sun streaming through the window and highlighting her body. He drew in an unsteady breath, suddenly overwhelmed by her presence.

"Beckett?" he asked curiously as he walked toward her. She didn't turn around but continued to look out the window with her back to him.

As he reached her he asked again, "Kate?"

"What is this?" Beckett asked, still facing away from him, her voice confused.

He instantly knew what she was asking.

"This," Castle reached out and gently stroked her arm, "is going to be great".

She spun around and faced him, the terror evident in her face, "How can you know that?"

He smiled at her. He'd been expecting this; nothing with Kate Beckett was ever simple.

"Because," he continued, letting his hand drift down to her waist, "I've wanted this, I've wanted you, for so long that it has to work".

She just looked at him, doubt filling her face.

"Kate," he used the hand on her waist to pull her to his side and breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't push him away.

"Sweetheart," he continued, and Kate felt her heart leap again at the term, "This," he gently kissed the top of her head, "is serious for me. I want you," he leaned down and kissed her on the mouth lightly, "and not just that way".

She looked puzzled.

"Hell Kate," he continued trying to keep any annoyance out of his voice, "you should know this. I want all of you. Not just the incredibly attractive parts of you, but," he pulled away from her and made sure she was looking him in the eyes, "I want everything".

"But Rick," she said quietly, letting her eyes drift away from his, "I'm not like other women you could have. I have issues. I'm not…easy".

He chuckled at that, and she looked up again in surprise.

"No one," he smiled at her and shook his head, "would ever accuse you of being easy. But," he looked at her seriously again, "when I say I want everything, I mean everything, even the difficult parts".

Kate looked at him and she saw so much conviction in his face that she couldn't help but believe him.

She smiled up at him for the first time that day and whispered, "Okay".

"Okay?" a huge grin filled Castle's face.

"Okay," she said a little louder, nodding and allowing herself to grin back at him.

"Does that mean," he pulled her to him again, fully this time, wrapping his arms around her, "that Katherine Beckett is now my girlfriend?"

She laughed slightly, "I guess it does".

* * *

Alexis stifled a gasp behind her hand.

She'd woken up earlier than usual and had wandered into her dad's room to check on him. When it had been empty she had immediately checked in the guest room. She really, really didn't want to think about why she'd assumed her dad would be in there.

But he hadn't been because that room had been empty too. Totally empty. No Castle and no Beckett.

So she'd wandered downstairs and headed toward the sound of voices. She'd been about to knock on the office door and declare her presence when she realized that she could hear everything that was being said. Alexis really wasn't comfortable eavesdropping, but for the last couple of weeks no one had been telling her anything!

So she'd allowed herself to pause for a minute in front of the door and listen to Beckett and her dad.

She knew she'd just heard the tail end of the conversation, but she couldn't believe it! Had Detective Beckett just agreed to date her dad?

* * *

"So," Castle leaned down and kissed Kate again, "is my girlfriend hungry?"

Kate smiled into his mouth, "uh huh," she mumbled as she slipped her tongue inside.

"Hey now!" Castle exclaimed jokingly as he pulled his mouth away from her, "I didn't mean like that!" He smacked her lightly on her butt, pleased to see her flush slightly from the contact.

He held out a hand to her and she slipped hers into his, reveling at the ease of the action. "I think it's time for breakfast," he said decisively. But as soon as they reached the office door she pulled her hand away.

Castle looked at her in surprise.

"Alexis?" Kate raised her eyebrow quizzically.

"Right," he nodded. Now that she was really his he was willing to accept that it might take her time to feel comfortable letting his daughter know the truth about them.

They left the office, Beckett trailing Castle at a respectable distance.

As they drew closer to the kitchen Castle sniffed loudly. Beckett couldn't help but grin, shaking her head. What was he? Some sort of bloodhound?

Then she couldn't help but sniff as well. Was that…pancakes?

Castle turned and looked at Beckett in surprise, shrugging his shoulders as they both entered the kitchen.

* * *

"I made pancakes!" Alexis said cheerfully, noticing that her dad and Beckett were standing an awkward distance apart from each other. She hoped it wasn't because of her.

"Thanks sweetie," Castle grinned at his daughter, pleased that she'd made the effort on a school day.

"Yeah, I woke up early and I had nothing better to do so…" Alexis shrugged and smiled back at him.

Beckett suddenly felt her heart rate increase. Alexis had woken up early? What if she had seen something?

"Kate?" Alexis' voice drew her back to the present, "I made some for you too. I mean, Dad told me once that you really liked pancakes and I thought," at that Alexis shrugged, apparently not feeling the need to explain what she had thought.

Beckett was touched that at least in part the pancakes had been made for her, "Thanks Alexis! I do love pancakes". She felt reassured. If Alexis had seen anything that morning Kate doubted that the girl would have made her pancakes.

"Good," the teen nodded abruptly, feeling slightly awkward because of the real reason she'd made breakfast.

Alexis was hoping the action would reassure Kate. Because if a relationship with Beckett was what would make her dad happy then it just had to work, she was not going to let anything screw it up.

* * *

After Alexis had left for school Beckett and Castle stood side by side putting the dishes and utensils away.

Catching sight of a drop of syrup by the side of Kate's mouth, Castle leaned into her and gently licked it away before settling a gentle kiss on the corner of her lips. He couldn't get over how good it felt to touch her. How wonderful it was to know that he could finally show her affection.

Beckett felt her heart quicken as Castle's tongue slid over the side of her mouth. It took every ounce of self-control not to yank her head away. It felt bizarre letting him close to her, allowing him into her personal space when for so many years she had pushed him away. Still, she had to admit it felt good.

"Mmm," she let out a little sigh of satisfaction as he gently kissed the corner of her mouth.

Pulling his mouth away from hers he leaned in and whispered huskily into her ear, "God you taste sweet".

She swatted him away and laughed, "Is that your best pick-up line? Cause seriously Castle, it was syrup, of course it was sweet!"

"Aww, Kate, you're not any fun" he pouted at her.

As soon as she saw the expression on his face she couldn't help herself. She picked the bottle of syrup off the table, making sure to hold it delicately between her fingers as she stalked toward him.

"Not any fun?" she threatened, swinging the syrup bottle in front of him.

Castle swallowed as he watched her, unsure of what was about to happen.

In one quick motion her hand firmly grasped the bottle and she squeezed the syrup all over his face and hair.

"Kate!" he spluttered, syrup already dripping onto his shirt.

Beckett jumped back laughing and put the syrup bottle back on the table.

"I can be fun," she threatened approaching him again.

As she walked up to him she whispered, her voice suddenly sultry, "Really fun".

Castle stood completely still, barely breathing as he watched Beckett. She leaned forward and placed her hands on his chest, backing him into the fridge as she began licking syrup off his face.

"You taste sweet too," she stated, her voice filled with lust. He instantly felt himself grow hard.

"God Kate," he groaned as she traced her tongue down the side of his face and pushed her way into his mouth.

She kissed him and he was overwhelmed by the intensity of the kiss mixed with the sweet taste of the syrup.

"Beckett," he mumbled as her mouth finally left his, her tongue returning to lap the syrup off the other side of his face, "You said you were okay with waiting".

She pulled away, longing and regret filling her eyes. Then she smiled. "I believe," she stated her voice still softened by desire, "that was because we were trying to be careful of your injuries".

He stared at her and nodded.

"Well," she continued and he couldn't believe how sultry she sounded. Was this really Katherine Beckett? She grinned at him, "I guess I'll just have to do all the work".

He gaped at her and she leaned toward him, quizzically looking at his syrup-drenched hair as though she was seeing it for the first time.

"What did you do now Castle?" she reprimanded, shaking her head sadly and trying to keep her face straight, "Now you're going to have to shower".

She turned without another word and walked out of the room. She didn't have to glance backward to know that he was following her.

* * *

_AN: Finally these two crazy kids are together. Except that Castle hasn't revealed his secret yet...is it bad that I'm not looking forward to dealing with that? :)  
_

_I'd like to thank all of you for your reviews. And fanficfan39 thanks for commenting on almost every chapter, I definitely appreciate the encouragement!  
_


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I wish.

_Previously on 'Down the Road':_

_In one quick motion her hand firmly grasped the bottle and she squeezed the syrup all over his face and hair._

_He gaped at her and she leaned toward him, quizzically looking at his syrup-drenched hair as though she was seeing it for the first time._

"_What did you do now Castle?" she reprimanded, shaking her head sadly and trying to keep her face straight, "Now you're going to have to shower"._

Chapter Seventeen

Castle froze for a minute at Beckett's insinuation. As soon as he'd wrapped his mind about what she was (he hoped desperately) offering he followed her.

As he reached the door to the bathroom he was surprised to hear the water already running. He knew that he was moving slowly with his injuries, but he still couldn't believe that Beckett had gotten upstairs so quickly.

As he entered the bathroom he froze again. He didn't know if he'd ever stop having that reaction. His eyes drifted from the pile of clothes at his feet toward the shower.

The water was running, the bathroom already slightly steamy, and Kate was standing outside of the shower leaning against the frosted glass door. Naked.

Castle gulped. He allowed his eyes to sweep over her body, no longer afraid that he would incur the wrath of Beckett.

He had to smile slightly when he noticed that she was panting. She must have sprinted ahead of him as soon as she was out of sight. He knew she wasn't that much faster than him!

"I thought," Beckett said to him sternly, "that you were going to shower downstairs".

Even if he hadn't known her well enough to know that she was joking, her taut nipples gave her away. They'd hardened the moment his eyes had started tracing her body.

Castle laughed and stepped forward slowly. He wanted to run toward her, to grab her in his arms, but he knew his injuries prevented that. _"For now,"_ he thought with a smile.

Maintaining eye contact Beckett slid the glass door open and stepped into the shower.

Castle took a deep breath to calm his nerves. It was ridiculous that he was nervous about this. They'd already slept together. He cautiously began to undo the buttons of his shirt. He could feel Beckett's eyes on him and he looked up suddenly to meet them. Unlike in the past when she'd always been embarrassed to be caught staring she didn't immediately look away. Instead she held his gaze and he felt his heart beat faster when he saw the lust in her eyes.

He was worried about the next part though. Last night it had been dark and she hadn't been able to see the full extent of his injuries. Although the main bathroom light was off, Beckett had switched on the light within his shower and the room was lit with a gentle glow. Not a lot of light, but definitely enough for her to see things. Things he really didn't want her to see. Although his shirt was unbuttoned he left it on a little longer, hesitant to expose the worst of his injures.

Instead he swiftly removed his pants and boxers. He wasn't embarrassed to be naked in front of her, he was only concerned about sparking that worry that he'd seen in her eyes when she'd admitted her fear of losing him.

But his shirt was the only thing standing between him and that shower, between him and Beckett. So he slowly shrugged out of it.

* * *

Beckett was amused. She wanted Castle in the shower with her immediately, but he was taking his sweet time. Who knew that he would be the patient one?

As she watched him remove his pants and boxers she could see that he wanted her and she felt empowered.

Why was he taking so long?

When he finally removed his shirt she knew why. She gasped.

Kate knew that he'd been hit by a car. She knew that he'd been hurt. Hell, she'd easily been able to read the pain on his face even when he was trying to hide it. She knew he'd been more than sore after they'd had sex the night before. But somehow she hadn't been ready for this.

Castle was covered in bruises, but his side was the worst. The bruise was pale in the middle of his chest, the greenish yellow fading into his skin, but as it wrapped its way around him it was a dark angry purple. It wasn't small either, but instead transversed his entire side, as though a young child had stuck his hands in paint and then smeared it all over.

That wasn't the worst part though. After her eyes took in the severe bruising they were immediately pulled to the large piece of gauze that was taped below his ribs. Blood appeared to have seeped its way through the dressing although, Beckett realized with relief, it seemed to have already dried. At least he wasn't bleeding now.

"Castle," she murmured, and somehow the word was filled with all her emotions: her fear, her concern, her desire. Everything.

He walked toward her and stepped into the shower.

She tried to step around him, to exit the shower, almost frantic.

"Hey," he said softly, and he reached out to touch her arm.

She stopped, one foot already out of the shower, and turned back to face him.

"I'm okay," he reassured her, refusing to let go of his arm.

Kate let her eyes meet his. He held her gaze and she let him pull her back into the shower.

"It looks way worse than it is," he tried to reassure her, gently running his hand up and down her arm.

"But," Kate felt her words catch in her throat. She felt her eyes well with tears. Why was she so emotional? Castle was the one who'd been hurt!

"Kate," he murmured gently, and she let him pull her further forward so that her head was leaning against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her carefully. He felt pain shoot up his side, but it was softened by the heat of her body against his. Her arms hung limply at her sides, but her cheek was pressed firmly against his chest. The joy and amazement he felt in the fact that Kate Beckett was letting him hug her didn't hurt either.

He took a step backward, still holding her against him, so that they were positioned under the steady stream of water.

"Look at me," he said, using his hand to gently force her chin up. Once she was looking at his face he continued, "Does it hurt? Yes. Is it bad? Yes. But I'm alive and it was worth it".

"Worth it?" she asked softly her voice tinged with confusion.

"Because I got you".

He felt her body stiffen at his words. He decided he needed to continue, "You and me, that's awesome, that's spectacular. And if I needed to get hurt for it to happen? Well, I'll heal. It's worth it".

Kate shook her head, "This would have happened anyway".

Castle chuckled softly and kissed the top of her head, "Eventually? Probably. But this way it's happening now".

She thought about what he was saying, tried to really process his words. In a way he was right, the accident had helped her realize how much she cared about him. It had pushed her in the right direction. It was horrible that it took him getting injured to see how much she cared, but it had.

He felt the tension slowly drain out of her.

"I wish I hadn't been so stupid, I wish I could have seen all of this without you getting hurt," she admitted to him, her voice muffled by his chest.

He didn't say anything else. He didn't think it was necessary. He could feel her body relaxing against his. Maybe this hadn't been the best way for them to get together, but it had happened, and they were finally together. That was all that mattered.

A huge smile broke across Castle's face as he felt her arms rise up and encircle him. What was even better than hugging Kate? Having her hug him back.

They stood there for a long time just hugging. Letting the water beat down on them. Castle knew it was corny, but he felt like it was washing away more than dirt.

When he felt Kate shiver he realized the water had turned cold. He gently let go of her and turned the water off. He went to get out of the shower, to get them some towels, and was surprised to feel Kate's arm gently snake around his waist. She steadied him as he got out of the shower, supporting him without being asked.

* * *

Once they'd dried themselves off with fluffy white towels, Castle was surprised to see Kate heading out of bathroom.

"Where are you going?" he called after her unable to keep a hint of anxiety out of his voice.

She laughed and called back as she entered the hallway, "I'll be right back!"

A minute later he heard her voice call from his bedroom, "Castle?"

He entered the room and saw that she'd gathered the first aid supplies from the living room. Alexis had been using the side table as a sort of triage center and Beckett had obviously noticed.

"Come here," she was now sitting on the bed and she tapped the mattress next to her.

He walked toward her and cautiously lowered himself onto the bed making sure that his towel was still securely wrapped around his waist.

She scooted further back on the mattress and settled behind him. Kneeling forward she reached around him and picked up the ointment and gauze. She very gently eased off the tape around his wound and Castle bit his tongue to stop himself from whimpering.

Once the bandage was off she ran her hand gently around it, tracing the outskirts of the stitches. She bit her bottom lip as concern flooded her. She'd hoped that it wouldn't be as bad as she'd imagined it, but it basically was.

Castle could feel her tensing behind him and joked, "It's going to be an awesome scar".

She couldn't help but smile, "Of course you want a scar".

"Of course," he nodded adamantly. He really was pretty excited about the scar. It was going to be so cool!

Beckett smiled and shook her head before reaching her left hand around him and settling it in his lap. He stared at it for a second, confused about what was going on. She wiggled her fingers and he realized she wanted him to hold her hand.

As soon as he grasped it she used her right hand to apply the ointment. He couldn't stop the gasp of pain from escaping. She squeezed his hand.

"I think the scar will make me more rugged," he stated although it was hard to keep the pain out of his voice.

"You would," she smiled.

"More manly?"

She grinned, "Maybe".

"Only maybe?" he asked whining slightly.

"Mmm," she mumbled as she concentrated on getting the gauze aligned correctly.

"You mean, because I'm already so manly you can't imagine me being any manlier?"

She laughed.

"Hey!" he said, sounding offended.

She finished taping the dressing and moved closer to him allowing her legs to extend on either side of his hips. She settled against him pulling him into the 'V' of her legs.

"You're," she leaned down and placed a kiss on his shoulder, "very," she kissed his neck, "manly". She kissed his cheek.

"Darn right!" he insisted, leaning backward against her and kissing her gently on the lips.

"Eh," She slid her legs back and climbed next to him on the edge of the bed crinkling her nose and giving him a typical Beckett look, "Really? Darn right?"

He gave her a fake wounded look complete with a pouting lip.

She kissed him again. "God you're manly, Castle," she said jokingly.

"Yep," he roguishly raised one eyebrow and kissed her again.

* * *

Castle's stomach growled and Kate pulled away from him.

"Gosh Castle," she joked, "Your stomach is always interrupting our intimate moments".

"It really doesn't listen to me at all," he said, frowning down at his stomach and poking it with a finger.

"Well," Kate sighed smiling, "I guess we better listen to it then".

She stood up and Castle was surprised to see that she had extended her hand to him. He wasn't going to let the opportunity pass him by, so he quickly grasped it. She used it to help him up, but he was even more surprised that she kept holding it as they walked toward the kitchen.

When they reached the kitchen she let go of his hand and headed toward the fridge.

"Kateee," he whined.

She turned around to face him, "What?"

"You let go of my hand!"

She shook her head, "I'm about to make us some lunch".

"But you never let me hold your hand!"

"Castle," Kate borrowed a move from Castle's book and raised one eyebrow roguishly, "I let you do a lot more than hold my hand two days ago".

"Yeah," Castle admitted, "but this morning you wouldn't let me hold your hand".

"That was because Alexis was here!" Beckett said irritably.

Castle looked a little sad and shook his head, "That wasn't the only reason".

They stared at each other for a moment and she had to admit he was right. She wasn't a prude, she has sex when she felt like it, but she couldn't remember the last time she'd let someone really hold her hand.

Castle glanced away from her, "You weren't really sure if you wanted anything…more…with me after that one night. You said you'd be my girlfriend but you weren't really positive about us".

Beckett felt her heart skip a beat. Was he right? Of course he was, if there was one thing Castle had proven it was that he knew her almost as well as she knew herself. Sometimes she hated that.

She couldn't stand the sadness in his voice.

"Castle?"

His eyes flicked towards her.

She waved her hand at her side.

He walked towards her hesitantly before grabbing hold of it. She held his hand tightly and opened the fridge door, "Now what do you want for lunch?"

She let a little smile grace the corner of her mouth.

She was surprised when she felt Castle let go of her hand and even more surprised when she turned and saw he'd taken a few steps away from her. A peculiar expression was on his face.

"What?" she asked worried suddenly.

He looked away from her again and then, somehow finding the courage he faced her and said, "I need to tell you something".

* * *

_AN: I know it seemed like this was going to be another sex scene, and honestly that was what I originally intended. But as I was writing I thought about the characters, and thought about the plot, and realized I really wasn't comfortable with them having sex again until they talked about things._


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Andrew Marlowe. Enough said.

_Previously on 'Down the Road':_

_She was surprised when she felt Castle let go of her hand and even more surprised when she turned and saw he'd taken a few steps away from her. A peculiar expression was on his face._

_"What?" she asked worried suddenly._

_He looked away from her again and then, somehow finding the courage he faced her and said, "I need to tell you something"._

Chapter Eighteen

"What is it," She looked puzzled, not upset yet though he knows that's coming, "Rick? What's the matter?"

"I need to," He swallowed suddenly unsure of how to explain it to her, of what words can soften the blow. But he needs to do this. He can't be with her until he does this. "I need to show you something".

He almost reached out for her hand again, but then decided against it and let his palm flap against his thigh. He turned and walked towards his study knowing that she'd follow.

Castle paused before he turned on the screen in his office. He doesn't want to ruin what they have. God, he just wants it to stay as perfect as it has been. Tears and all, it's been perfect. But now, now he has to do this, and so he turned to her and looked as deep into her eyes as he possibly can and says, "Remember I love you".

She nodded slowly. Her eyes are filled with fear. She doesn't know what's coming next but she knows it can't be good. Her heart starts to thud in her chest. It has to be about her mother's case, what else could possibly be this serious?

The office is so quiet she thinks that he might be able to hear her heart pounding.

"After Montgomery got shot," he begins, and she startles, whether it's the memory or the abruptness of his words neither of them can say.

"A man called me," Castle continued, "he explained to me that he was a friend of Roy's and that right before his death Montgomery sent him a package. The package was to be used as leverage to protect you from everything surrounding your mother's murder,"

Her breath hitches, because even though she knew that this was coming, knew that it had to be about her mom's case, hearing him say it aloud makes it too real.

"It was basic blackmail," Castle's voice is slightly softer as though saying the news more quietly will soften the blow, "provided you didn't investigate your mom's case the file would remain in Roy's friend's custody. But if they harmed you at all," he swallowed deeply against the bile that always rises in his throat when he thinks of her dead, "then the file would get released. I had to protect you".

She hasn't said anything. Can't say anything.

"But I still needed to try to figure out who it was, even if you couldn't investigate, we needed to know who it was, so…" He pauses for a moment, but he's explained as best he can and this is it. There's not really anything left to say.

Resolutely Castle hits the power button on the side of his smart board. The screen illuminates and Kate lets out a shrill gasp when she sees it's a murder board. When she sees her own face in the middle.

She stands frozen. Unmoving, unblinking, and he's reminded of that time that he and Alexis were driving back from the Hamptons late at night and he almost hit a deer. She's staring at him now, staring at him like that deer.

He knows what's going to happen next before she does. He's made a habit of studying Katherine Beckett. He's not surprised when she runs past him and out the door.

* * *

Kate doesn't know what to do. She felt a sob rising from deep inside as she left his apartment. She hadn't slammed the door shut she wasn't trying to make some big dramatic exit she just needed to get out of there.

How could he do this to her? He knew how much her mother's case meant to her. Knew that in many ways it was everything. Yet he'd kept this from her for, God, who knew how long he'd kept this from her.

She tried to steady her breathing. Closed her eyes for just a moment and was almost surprised when she opened them to find that she'd sunk downward onto the floor. She pulled her knees up to her chest and began to rock herself back and forth. She couldn't do this. Couldn't deal with this, couldn't think, couldn't move.

So she stayed in front of the loft door, rocking back and forth keening softly, and waiting for her breath to come back. Because once she could breathe again maybe she could start to figure out what she had to do.

* * *

Even though he'd known that she was going to leave, known that the flight response was too heightened in Kate for her to have another reaction, he felt his stomach drop as she ran from him. He wished, wished more than he'd ever wished for anything before, that she'd been able to stay and fight this out with him.

The fact that she hadn't stayed and fought showed how serious it really was. He'd known it would be this bad, but somehow he'd hoped that it would be different with him. That with him she'd get angry, with him she'd stay and fight like she fought against all the other things in her life and that some part of him would overpower the all consuming grief she felt. He'd hoped but he'd known all along that it wouldn't come true.

* * *

It was hours later when Kate slowly felt the tightness in her chest lighten. It was just enough so that she could take slow steadying breaths. She looked up at the loft door in front of her. Why? That was what she couldn't understand. Why had he done it? He said he was doing it to protect her, but what about him? Didn't he see that he was placing himself in danger? She stared at the loft door even harder almost willing it to give her answers.

"_Remember I love you"._

She couldn't keep his voice out of her head. She shuddered as she recalled his words. They flowed and ebbed over her, dragging her away from the storm of her emotions and into a place that was shockingly calm. She took another deep breath and closed her eyes as she imagined his face. Imagined the devotion and love (yes, love) in his eyes as he'd told her how he felt. Almost unconsciously Kate stood on shaky legs. She turned toward the door and pushed her way back into the loft.

* * *

He was crying now. Slow steady tears. No gasping, no shuddering breaths, just tears rolling down his face. He wasn't trying to hide them. There was no one to hide them from. He'd been crying for hours.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried like this.

"Hey".

He startled at the sound of her voice, whipping his head up to make sure she wasn't an auditory hallucination.

Kate stood there in the doorway to his office, her whole body trembling, arms tightly crossed across her chest as though she was holding herself together.

He reacted the second he saw her. She looked so lost that he couldn't bear it. Even though he was delighted that she was back he felt anguish the moment he looked into her eyes.

He dashed toward her and caught her just before she hit the floor.

He lowered himself to the floor, still supporting the full brunt of her weight, and curled her body into his arms, cradling her like she was a child.

She opened her eyes and he smiled down at her, unclasping a hand from her body only long enough to brush the hair out of her eyes, "Hey yourself".

"You can't do this anymore," she said, her voice harsh sudden. The switch was abrupt but he'd rather see angry Kate than emotional Kate any day.

"Do what?" Castle was calmer now that he knew that she wasn't going anywhere.

"You can't keep investigating by yourself, you'll get yourself killed," her voice was still harsh, but it was impossible to miss the emotional tones underneath.

"If you investigate they'll kill you!" Castle responded unable to quiet the anxiety that filled him.

"Then they won't know," her voice was calmer now.

"Beck—Kate," he tried to swallow his fear, "they'll find out".

"No," she shook her head resolutely.

Beckett reached out and stroked Castle's cheek. She was still curled up on his lap. Even though she was angry she wanted to be there.

"They won't find out because I won't investigate like I normally would".

Castle looked at her in surprise. What could that possibly mean? He stared down at her and Kate couldn't stop a small smile from gracing her face.

"What I mean to say is," Kate clarified, "you'll keep doing whatever it is you've been doing. And whenever you find new things I'll look at the murder board I mean," she squirmed slightly in his arms unable to hide her discomfort, "I assume I'll be here pretty often".

"Yes," he said breathlessly, unable and unwilling to hide his excitement.

"Good," she finally let a full smile escape, "I'll know what you've found but I won't be actively investigating. And if I know that you're nearing something big at least I'll be able to try and protect you".

"But," he was still concerned about letting her anywhere near this case.

"No Rick," she looked at him and he saw only determination, "this is me compromising. I won't actively investigate, as long as I know enough to try and protect you".

He looked down at her, this beautiful woman in his arms who was without a doubt the love of his life, and nodded.

"Good," she smiled again and her eyes drifted shut for just a moment.

When she opened them he saw the exhaustion that she had been masking. She was looking back at him honestly, raw and open and he couldn't stop himself. He pulled her up slightly in his lap and firmly placed a head at the back of her head, weaving his fingers through the slightly knotted curls.

He kissed her. The kip deepened quickly and he groaned as he felt her hips grind against his.

"Kate," he mumbled and he drew back to look at her again.

She was looking back at him with hooded eyes and he laughed lightly surprised that she wasn't already fast asleep.

He stilled her hips with his hand and leaned forward to kiss her cheek, whispering "later" in her ear before he pulled away.

Castle placed a hand under her butt to hold her against him and stood carefully. She leaned her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck sighing contentedly.

He walked the few steps to his bedroom, thankful that it was on the first floor. He laid her on his bed not bothering to pull down the covers and climbed in next to her. He draped his arm and leg over her, cocooning her against him.

Her breathing was deep and steady; somehow she'd fallen asleep before they'd reached the bedroom.

He tucked his head against hers and smiled into her hair whispering, "This isn't exactly how I imagined your first time in my bed, Detective".

* * *

_AN: I can't be the only one who's relieved that's out of the way! I'm still a little surprised they didn't address it more on the show. _


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: Can I have them now?

Chapter Nineteen

He dreamed of her.

It wasn't anything new. He dreamed about her all the time. But this dream felt better than most, it felt more real, maybe (his subconscious informed him) because he'd had the real thing.

He dreamed of kissing Kate, of running his hands down her sides and yanking a shirt over her head. He dreamed of taking her breast in his mouth and of entering her and feeling her writhe underneath him.

He woke up with a gasp unable to believe how turned on he was.

He opened his eyes and was thrilled to see that Kate was still tucked against his side. He immediately brushed his lips against the top of her head and tried to stifle a groan. God he wanted her.

How was he already so hard?

He suddenly felt her hand and let out a gasp.

She was still lying on her side, still in the position she'd slept in the night before, but somehow she was stroking him.

He propped himself up slightly and leaned over her to look at her face. She wasn't looking at him, but she was awake, and he could see her eyes dark with passion in the late afternoon sun that was flooding his bedroom.

He swallowed another moan as he felt the friction of her hand against his boxers. How was it possible that she was doing this to him with just one hand?

He felt the intensity of her hand increase and felt her arch a little toward him. He was momentarily confused by the movement, but then he let his eyes settle again on the position of their bodies.

She'd slid her hand between her own thighs in the quest to find his, and as she touched him she was slowly sliding herself up and down her arm in perfect tempo to the stroke of his erection.

And she didn't know he was awake.

"Kate," he mumbled into her ear and she stopped momentarily. Embarrassed about where she'd let her hands drift and what she'd been doing to herself.

"Don't stop," he groaned, and he lifted her just enough so that his own arm was next to hers, trapped under her body.

He used his hips to nudge her even closer to her own wrist and she gasped as she touched herself again.

"Keep going," he encouraged.

She began to stroke him again continuing to grind against her arm. He added his arm to hers, applying steady pressure from both that arm and his hips, so that her friction was even greater.

"Castle," she moaned and he began pushing against her harder increasing the tempo as she writhed against their arms.

Her breathing was uncontrolled now. Panting and breathless and he became even harder than he thought possible just listening to her get close to the edge.

He felt like his wasn't helping enough and so he stopped the pressure of his arm on hers, ignoring her gasp of frustration, and thrust his hand into her panties stroking her with his fingers as he continued to encourage her rhythm.

He heard her panting increase and felt her tremble against his hand. He pushed her just a little harder with her hips and she came, shaking and clenching around his fingers, moaning in relief.

He smiled into her hair as she finally stilled, and brushed it off the nape of her neck. He leaned forward and gently kissed her, whispering "Good morning".

A slow grin flitted across her face as she rolled over to face him. She propped herself up on his chest and began to trace patterns across it with her finger. She tentatively looked up at him. Somehow this time, this time when they hadn't really even had sex, made it feel so much more real. Like this was really happening—they were really happening.

"Good morning," she replied almost shyly.

He laughed and kissed her nose, "You're being very unBeckett-like, Kate".

"Hey," She sat up abruptly, but her eyes weren't mad, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're almost," he grinned at her, "shy…did something make you shy, Kate?"

She looked at him with a completely straight face, hiding her amusement, and said, "How do you know that this isn't how I always am in the morning after sex?"

"I suppose I don't".

"So maybe this is how I am with all the guys?" She allowed a hint of teasing to enter her voice.

"Nah," he shook his head vehemently, "but this is how you're going to be with me."

He paused and reached out to stroke her face as he continued, "Every time".

She stilled under his touch, freezing in the way that she always did when she was unsure of herself. He thought it was adorable. He wasn't worried like he normally was when she acted like that; he would have only been concerned if she had already bolted out of the bed.

She actually laughed. The light and sweet all consuming laugh that he had somehow been privy to over the last few days. The laugh that wasn't Beckett but that was all Kate.

Smiling at him, definitely not timidly this time, "Don't count your chickens before they've hatched, mister".

He stilled her face with his hands, leaned forward and kissed her deeply, tongue briefly probing her mouth before abruptly pulling away, "But they're such great chickens".

* * *

He lay in bed and watched her as she got ready. She'd gathered her clothes onto the chair by his bed and was redressing. Slowly. Every few seconds her eyes flitted in his direction, so brief that if he hadn't been watching her intently he would have definitely missed the motion. He knew that she was dressing slowly for him, letting him allow his eyes to drift over her body. The knowledge that he was allowed to do this, to gaze at her without embarrassment, was reassuring somehow. When he'd said that they were going to have sex again he meant it. Of course he meant it. He loved her and there were no more secrets and technically things could be perfect now.

But he knew that perfect was unlikely. Because it was them and something was always happening. Still, he was comfortable as he watched her dress, secure in the knowledge that if they could survive the secrets from the nights before they could survive almost anything. But perfect? He didn't expect that.

"What's the hurry?" he asked her wondering why she was getting dressed so quickly.

"It's Saturday," she stated as though that was all the explanation he needed. It wasn't.

"Huh?"

Beckett glanced over at Castle, fighting to hide a grin. He was propped up against the pillows, hair tousled, sheet riding low on his waist. Part of her (a large part she admitted) wanted to take off her clothes and climb back into bed.

"It's Saturday, so the week is over".

"Um, Beckett," he still looked puzzled, "everyone knows a week starts on Monday".

"But I work Saturdays, and I really need to get back into the precinct," she sounded distracted and he was worried that he was going to lose his Kate. The Kate that he'd just started to get to really know.

"Come back to bed," he pleaded with her.

She shook her head resolutely, "No. It's not fair to Ryan and Espo, I can't leave them with all the paperwork".

He felt frantic, he wanted her back in bed with him, wanted to know that she wasn't going anywhere physically or emotionally. "Beckettt," it came out as a whine, "Gates gave you a week off. I think she meant a full week. Seven days".

Kate looked at him and felt a wave of emotion wash over her. He was staring at her with such intensity, a mix of fear and love.

"Hey," she said softly, clambering onto the foot of the bed and leaning over him. She kissed his gently. "I'll be back. I'll only go in for a couple hours, how's that?"

"I'm not coming with you?" he actually sounded panicked now but he realized he didn't know how to control it. He didn't know how to not sound like an insecure teenager around Kate Beckett.

She looked at him sternly, but the affection in her eyes calmed him, "I will be back. I'll come here around lunchtime and we can eat together, how's that?"

"Eat together," he waggled his eyebrows at her, abruptly returning to the Castle she knew.

"Chinese," she said sternly. "I'll grab some on my way here".

"Okay," he muttered still wishing that she wasn't leaving.

She sat on the chair and started to pull on her shoes. Beckett couldn't help but startle as Castle suddenly jumped out of bed and let out an "oomph" because he'd forgotten his injuries.

"Careful!" she yelped.

He was already out of the bedroom door and rifling around in his office desk drawers when she entered the room.

"Ah ha!" he exclaimed proudly as his hand found what it had been searching for.

He turned around and reached for her and she automatically extended her hand. "This", he pressed it into her palm, making sure that he was looking her right in the eye, "Is for you".

It was firmly in the palm of her hand and her fingers had already curled around it before she realized what it was.

"A key?" Kate whispered.

"For you," he nodded enthusiastically.

She didn't know what to say. Was it for convenience sake? Just so that she could come back in for lunch without knocking? Or was it a gesture of some kind? She didn't know what it meant and she didn't know how she felt about any of the options that were racing through her mind. She was frozen again. Why was she always frozen?

Castle knew how to read Beckett and he realized immediately that he should have been clearer. Well, first of all he shouldn't have let his enthusiasm overtake him, but now that he'd let that happen he should have been clearer. _"Idiot",_ he berated himself.

"Kate," he stepped towards her and she actually took a step back. Shit he should have been clearer.

"I'm giving that key to you because I want you to be able to come over whenever you want. I want to see you all the time, but I realize that's not a rationale request, so this gives you the power, okay? You can come and go as you like and you can rest assured that I'll always be thrilled to see you. That key's a promise of that".

"Okay," she said softly, and he sighed in relief when he saw her slide the key into the front pocket of her jeans. Her hand rested over it as she looked up and met his eyes, "Okay" she said more firmly.

"Good," he stepped toward her again and was relieved that she didn't back away. He kissed her softly, cupping her cheek with his hand before bringing it up to smooth her hair. "See you at lunch?"

She nodded, walking toward the door of the loft but throwing a smile back at him over her shoulder as she opened the door, "See you at lunch".

Beckett closed the door behind her and leaned against it heavily. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately, leaning against doors. But this time, she realized with a start, she could open the door whenever she wanted. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the key, running her finger over it. She'd never had a key to a guy's apartment before. This gesture, this simple gesture of giving her the key was so simple but so very Castle. She was surprised she wasn't more panicked. She slid it back into her pocket as she walked toward the elevator and headed toward the precinct.

* * *

_AN: I apologize for the delay in posting. Yesterday was the first day since I started this story that you guys didn't get a new chapter! _

_I'm not sure how many more chapters this story will run for…I don't think it will be longer than 25 (unless inspiration strikes!). I do want to play a bit with them both going back to the precinct and dealing with the guys, Lanie, etc. plus Alexis of course. What do you think?_


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: Thanksgiving is soon and I'd love another reason to be thankful…

Chapter Twenty

The second that Beckett walked into the precinct she felt like something was wrong. It wasn't that anything was different, because she had to admit to herself that everything was exactly the same. The little jerk the elevator made before it opened was the same, the noise from the bullpen was the same, and the nodding of her colleagues' heads was the same.

The only thing that wasn't the same was her.

She realized that the wrong feeling came from her knowledge that Castle wasn't coming in today. It was ridiculous, mainly because she had just seen him that morning and she had been the one to order him to stay away, but she instantaneously missed him.

Although she'd never liked to admit it to herself, the best part of her morning was when Castle sauntered into the precinct with their coffees. Although she always attempted to focus on work before he showed up, more often than not her mind drifted until he was seated beside her.

She berated herself for being ridiculous, for missing him when she knew exactly where he was. What was wrong with her? The way her feelings were fluctuating she probably needed to schedule an appointment with Dr. Burke. Actually, she realized, an appointment might not be the worst idea. Things were definitely changing and she didn't want to fail at something she'd just started. She made a mental note to see him as soon as possible.

She felt herself calm a little as she settled into her desk chair.

"Hey Beckett!" She startled as Espo approached.

He wondered why she looked so shocked. It wasn't like she was at the precinct where they both worked or anything.

"So boss," he said, grinning as he leaned against her desk, "Got tired of Castle already, did you?"

"Hmm?" She looked at him quizzically, still lost in her thoughts.

"Beckett?" His voice sounded puzzled now and was definitely softer. He was worried that their plan had backfired. That Castle and Beckett had fought. That something was wrong.

"Oh!" She yanked herself out of her reverie, embarrassed to be caught off guard at work and suddenly concerned that she'd already revealed too much of her personal life, "Sorry, Espo, just thinking about the newest case," she gestured toward the murder board, scanning it quickly when he turned to face it so she wouldn't be caught in the lie.

"Yeah, it's a puzzler," interjected Ryan as he stood from his desk and walked over to them.

Esposito forgot his momentary confusion as the three of them pondered the board.

"Give me a rundown?" Beckett suggested, pleased to be out of the cross-hairs.

Ryan nodded, "Vic is a twenty-one year old Caucasian female. Jane Doe. You'll never guess where she was found—"

Esposito smirked, "Castle would love this one. Too bad our boy's missing this".

"Where was she found, Ryan?" Beckett ignored Esposito.

"City bus," Ryan concluded unable to mask his excitement.

"A bus?" Beckett wasn't very impressed.

"Man," Esposito punched Ryan lightly on the shoulder, "You are doing the worst job at explaining this. Jane Doe was found in the back of the bus, sitting in a seat, positioned so that she was staring out the window. Took the bus driver two full loops before he realized something was wrong with her".

"Lanie's doing the autopsy now," Ryan felt the need to contribute, "but when the victim was found she didn't have a scratch on her. She was just…dead".

"You're right," Beckett admitted, leaning back in her chair and staring at the murder board, "Castle would love this".

The boys nodded, both wondering if something had happened between Castle and Beckett. The way she said his name sounded…different. But neither of them were sure if the something that might have happened was a good something or a bad something. She didn't seem mad, but Castle wasn't at her side.

"I wonder—" she began.

"Nu uh, Beckett," Ryan interrupted her.

"Yeah man, that's right," Esposito nodded as he looked at Ryan.

The way they'd just communicated without full sentences reminded Beckett of Castle. Why wasn't he here? Why had she left him in that bed? Bed…she forced herself back into the present. Giving the boys her best glare she asked, "And why's that?"

"You're not really here, remember?" Ryan teased.

"Clearly I am," Beckett said curtly.

"Nope," Espo grinned.

"Nu uh," Ryan added.

"Detective Beckett," Gates ordered opening her door abruptly, "My office. Now".

The grins fell off the boys' faces.

Beckett quickly stood up and walked toward the office, the speed of her steps matching the thud in her chest. If today had taught her anything it was that she still needed Castle in the precinct. If Gates took that away from her…she swallowed as she tried to regain her composure.

"I see you're back from your break early," Gates didn't sound pleased.

"Sir," Kate willed herself to be calm and collected, "I only came in for a few hours to do paperwork. I'll take tomorrow off and come back on Monday".

Gates had watched her detective since she first entered the bullpen and had to admit that she looked more rested. The deep circles that had been under her eyes were almost nonexistent, and if it was possible she seemed to have gained some weight in the last five days.

"Fine," Gates said abruptly and waved her hand toward her door.

Beckett spun on her heel and exited, pausing for a moment outside the door to overcome the surprise. Gates hadn't really said anything? Was that right? She shrugged, decided to count her blessings, and walked back to her desk to finish up the last of her paperwork. She threw a quick glance toward the murder board before forcing herself to pick up a pen and do the boring part of her job.

* * *

Kate used her hip to nudge the paper bag against the wall as she fumbled in her pocket for her key. _"Her key,"_ the words still felt foreign in her head. She'd thought about ringing the doorbell, mainly because her arms were full, but she knew how disappointed Castle would be. She had a feeling that ringing the doorbell right after he'd given her a key to his apartment would be akin to a kick in the gut. Certainly it would make him think that she wasn't committed to this relationship. And she was committed, wasn't she? She felt a little thread of doubt, but it disappeared as she succeeded in getting the key in the lock and was distracted by the bag of food that was slipping away from her. She caught it before it reached the floor and entered the loft.

As she looked around the empty foyer she couldn't help but remember that she'd just let herself in.

Even though it was dark, cast in slight shadows from the afternoon sun and the lack of lights, just being there felt good. It was warm, and quiet, and safe.

She slid the bag of sandwiches and fries on the counter, propelled by the realization that she was finally in the same place as Castle. She'd been missing him all day and now they were together. Well…sort of…where was he again?

Beckett kicked off her heels, leaving them in front of the kitchen counter, and headed toward Castle's bedroom.

Her hand hesitated for a moment on the door knob, suddenly overcome by the intimacy of this moment. But then she turned the handle and pushed open the door.

She stilled in the doorway and a small smile graced her lips as she looked at the man in front of her.

Castle was sleeping, rolled onto his side toward the door so that she could trace the contours of his face and his neck and his side with her eyes. The rest of him was covered by a dark blue throw blanket.

He had clearly showered, his hair was still damp and had leached water onto his pillow. So at least he'd done something while she was gone all day, she smiled softly.

She was briefly overwhelmed by the emotion she felt towards him, this man who wasn't even doing anything, just sleeping.

"Castle," she was startled by the sound of her own voice as it broke the solitude of the room.

He stirred, but didn't wake up.

She wondered if she was intruding.

"Castle," she said his name louder this time.

"Kate," he mumbled, his eyes remaining closed.

She could tell he was mostly asleep and she felt secure again. He did want her there.

She walked over and poked him on the shoulder, hard, "Yes?"

His eyes flicked open and a lazy grin formed as he saw the woman looking down at him. She seemed annoyed, but he could see the smile in her eyes.

"Kate," he said again, ecstatically happy that she had come back.

"Can you say anything other than my name?" she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Huh?" he asked, propping himself up on one elbow trying to wake up fully.

"You seem to be saying 'Kate' an awful lot," she pursed her lips to hold in the smirk that was forming.

"Oh," he frowned a little, before looking at her slightly embarrassed, "I didn't say anything else, did I?"

"No," she looked surprised, "What else would you have said?"

He looked relieved but pulled her down next to him on the bed, still surprised that she let him settle her into his lap. "Nothing," he promised, as he planted a kiss in her hair. _"Nothing except that I love you"._ He tried to collect himself from the dreams about Kate he'd been having and fully return to reality. Cause at the moment reality wasn't that bad.

* * *

_AN: Now they just need to say it for real, right? _

_Is anyone else surprised that they haven't said it yet on the show? I'm hoping that's what will come in next week's episode and not a break up. Dear God, Andrew Marlowe, are you trying to kill us?_


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: Mine? Nope.

Chapter Twenty-One

Kate looked down at him, surprised that he'd managed to shift his head onto her lap without her noticing. Some police detective she was. She'd been too distracted by the warmth in his eyes to notice his cautious movement.

Castle smiled up at her, still blinking sleep from his eyes. He felt her stiffen slightly as she realized the intimate position they were in. She was sitting on his bed, one leg curled under her, and his head was resting on her thighs. He closed his eyes for a moment, reveling in the fact that she was allowing this to happen. He knew it couldn't last long. It was his turn to stiffen in surprise when her fingers began to run through this hair.

She paused as she touched the part of his head that had been shaved, running a finger over it a few times softly, before returning her attention to the rest of his hair.

After a few minutes of this, neither one willing to say anything in case they ruined the calm between them, Kate sighed audibly. Castle opened his eyes and looked at her, "What?"

Her hand had left his head and she was already pushing him off of her when she replied, "The fries will be cold".

"You brought me fries?"

She raised her eyebrow at him quizzically, secretly pleased with his enthusiasm. Castle could be such a little kid sometimes. Actually, she corrected, most of the time.

"Yes, Richard," she purposefully used his first name, to get a rise out of him and to remind him he was actually an adult, "I got sandwiches and french fries".

He sat up in bed and she had to resist the urge to run her hands through his hair again. This time she wanted to fix the collective damage that sleep and her roaming hand had done. He looked like he hadn't combed his hair in a week.

"Awesome! That's exactly why I—" he cut himself off before he got any further, hoping that she hadn't caught his blunder. _"Really suave Castle, tell her you love her after she brings you fries"._ He tried to save the moment, "think you're the greatest!" He finished triumphantly.

He slid out of the bed, avoiding eye contact so that this wouldn't turn into an awkward moment, and headed toward the kitchen.

Beckett stood stock-still staring after him. Had he really been about to say what she thought he'd been about to say? But he couldn't possibly have meant it even if he had said it this was way too early for that…right? He'd said it before but both times had mitigating circumstances: she was dying the first time, and he was about to reveal a huge secret that could potentially ruin their new relationship the second. This was an internal conversation that would end up going in circles so she decided to try to ignore her panic for now. He hadn't said anything, she reminded herself.

"They're getting colder!" Castle yelled from the kitchen.

So she squared her shoulders and went to eat some fries.

* * *

"_It must be getting late,"_ she realized as she felt her eyes start to drift shut.

After lunch she and Castle had gotten into an intense discussion about the latest case. The case that they technically (okay, definitely) weren't working because neither of them were allowed back into the precinct for at least another day.

She'd known that he would be thrilled with the case because it was definitely a weird one. Everyone in the 12th knew that Castle loved the weird ones. Actually, she did too; it was one of the things that they had in common. It was one of the things that stopped them from being complete polar opposites.

He'd offered his usual completely ridiculous off the wall hypotheses, followed by some slightly more sensible ones. She sleepily grinned. Somehow she didn't think that the woman was a robot.

After spending hours going back and forth debating what could have happened, hours that helped reassure her that they were still 'them' despite the changes that were happening, he'd asked her to stay for a movie night.

She'd been about to say no, because she had spent so many nights at the loft that she was beginning to forget what her own apartment looked like, but then Alexis had walked in.

The girl's eyes had lit up when she saw the detective and Kate couldn't help but be surprised. After their confrontation in the hospital corridor she'd known the teen didn't like her. But then Alexis had made her pancakes and now she seemed excited about the prospect of a movie night. Beckett couldn't ruin that, not when she and Castle were…whatever they were.

The fact that Alexis then admitted that she'd stopped to buy cupcakes for them all on the way home only served to sweeten the deal.

Alexis hadn't lasted through much of the movie. Actually, she could have easily watched the whole thing, but she wanted to give her dad and Kate some alone time. Especially since they were finally dating! She wondered why they hadn't told her yet? Either way, she'd already promised herself she would do whatever was in her power to help her dad make this relationship work. And if that meant going up to her bedroom an hour earlier than normal so be it.

Kate hadn't realized how tense she was until Alexis had walked upstairs. She and Castle had been sitting next to each other on the couch. The same couch where they'd recently had sex. But this time she hadn't let herself anywhere near him. She had sat next to him and casually placed a throw cushion between them. He'd given her a knowing look, but she'd ignored it.

But now that Alexis was gone she felt the tension drain out of her and she didn't fight him when he reached out and removed the throw pillow before curling his arm around her. She leaned into his side and sighed contentedly. Castle smiled at the sound, dropping a soft kiss on her head before returning his attention to the movie. Well, some of his attention anyway. Most of his attention was still focused on the woman curled up next to him. He loved that she sounded so relaxed. He was hyper-aware of her next to him, of her body pushing against his, but he didn't feel the need to act on it. He was content too; content to pretend to watch the movie while his hand traced patterns on her arm.

She let her eyes drift shut, lulled by the warmth of his body and the soothing motion of his hand.

* * *

She woke up slowly, stretching before curling back up against him. His arms tightened around her. Beckett rolled onto her stomach and realized that she was completely on top of Castle. Somehow they'd shifted during the night so that she was stretched out on his couch and she was on top of them. She felt a blush begin to form as she realized how intimately they were lying. When she had rolled over she had pushed them together even more.

Castle grinned down at her and she immediately knew he'd been awake for a while. She had seen him wake up enough times that she knew it was a gradual process. _"A very gradual process",_ her grin faded as she realized that she'd woken up with him enough to know that. How many nights had they been sleeping together? Five? Six? She couldn't even remember!

"Stop thinking," Castle ordered her sternly kissing her forehead.

"I wasn't thinking!"

"Uh huh," he looked at her knowingly.

She scowled at him and he laughed, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I don't want to hear you thinking anything else unless it's thoughts about what we're doing today".

"You can not hear what I'm thinking," she rolled her eyes at him.

"Can to!" he whined, "Right now I can tell you're thinking that I'm annoying!"

"Nope!" she jumped off of him, jogging toward the kitchen, "I'm thinking that I'm going to eat the last cupcake".

"Kate!" he sat up on the couch but made no move to follow her, instead choosing to continue whining from the warmth of the cushions that were still radiating their body heat, "No fair!"

She sauntered back into the room with the cupcake, teasingly licking the frosting off of it as she stood in front of Castle. She looked down at him and was surprised by the amount of lust in his eyes. Of course, she was doing this on purpose, but the speed of his passion surprised her.

"Come here," he said, his voice suddenly gruff, and he yanked her into his lap.

She held out the cupcake and he licked some of the icing off while maintaining eye contact.

"Delicious," he admitted, "but not exactly what I had in mind for this morning".

Her breathing increased as his hand slid up and down her thigh before resting briefly between her legs. She swallowed hard, willing herself to ignore the pool of heat that instantly formed.

He kissed her hungrily, running his hands up and down her thighs as he did so.

Even though things were still confusing for her she let herself get lost in his embrace. She wanted him so badly and it all felt so good.

She let her hands drift under his shirt, pushing it up so that she had full access to his chest as she kissed him deeply.

She felt his mouth on her breast, and she wondered how he'd gotten her shirt undone without her noticing. He'd unbuttoned it but left it on, and he was sucking on her through her bra. He caught her moan with his mouth, running his hands under her shirt and caressing the small of her back as he tangled his tongue with hers.

"Um"

The interruption was so small, and she was so lost in his touch, that she barely noticed it. Castle on the other hand, perhaps from years of looking after a child, responded instantaneously.

He yanked his hand out from under Kate's shirt and pulled her toward him so that his daughter couldn't see the state of undress. She'd somehow turned in his lap during their impromptu makeout session so that she was completely facing him.

He was facing toward the stairs and could see his daughter clearly over Beckett's shoulder.

Kate had frozen as soon as his hand had left her shirt and he tightened his grasp around her trying to reassure her that this was okay. Also, he knew she tended to run in these sorts of situations, but in this case that would definitely not be a good move. Not when his daughter was standing there and Kate's shirt was unbuttoned. This way at least it looked a little more innocent. Not a lot, but a little.

He decided to go with the 'ignore the awkwardness and wait and see' approach.

"Hey Alexis," he was relieved that he managed to sound so normal despite the fact that his breathing still felt ragged.

"Hey Dad, hey Kate," she said as though this was an every day occurrence, "I'm just heading to see Julia".

And then Alexis walked right by them and exited the loft.

Once she was outside she let a huge grin fill her face. After their behavior the last few days she hadn't been sure what was really going on between them, but if she'd needed confirmation she'd just gotten it. _"Maybe a little more than I needed,"_ she tried to get the image of her dad with his tongue in Kate's mouth out her mind. At least she hadn't seen anything more than that. Knowing her dad she should count her blessings.

Kate was still frozen. He could feel the tension seeping off of her.

"Hey," he whispered gently, softly stroking her hair.

He didn't release his hold on her but instead help her tightly. He kept her pressed against him in the hopes that it would help her battle the flight response.

Castle knew it would take a while so he just sat there, holding Kate against his, running his hand over her hair.

Eventually, after what felt like hours but had probably only been fifteen minutes or so, he felt her relax against him. She still didn't look at him or say anything, but she seemed to droop against his body.

He felt like he could finally speak again, "She was fine with it".

Kate tentatively nodded but still didn't look up at him.

"She wouldn't have stood their voyeuristically looking at us, not my kid," he promised her, "so that means she interrupted us the second she saw us".

Kate briefly tensed again, but relaxed as soon as he continued his ministrations on her hair.

"She only saw us kiss".

She tried to remember the order that things had happened in, but couldn't really. Still, he seemed so sure.

"We're together now, and so she would have found out sooner or later. And we're going to kiss in front of her again," he chuckled, "well, maybe not like that".

She didn't say anything.

He knew she was feeling better about everything because he could read her body language, but he still wished she would say something.

"We are together, right?" he suddenly wasn't sure.

She hadn't been positive before. Even after agreeing to date him and spending all those nights with him she hadn't been sure that they were both really committed to this, to them. Weirdly, this had changed all that. He'd dealt with her freak-out and known exactly how to calm her down. And she'd managed to fight her normal response. She could have fought him off if she'd wanted to, but she hadn't. She hadn't wanted to run.

"We're together," she promised.

He was thrilled that she'd finally said something and even more thrilled that she'd said that.

* * *

_AN: Finally they're together, together. _

_Thanks for all the reassuring messages that next week's Castle isn't going to devastate me!  
_


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: If only.

Chapter Twenty-Two

They sat there silently for a few more moments, her head resting in the curve of his neck, her steady breathing reassuring him that she wasn't on the verge of another freakout. That maybe, just maybe, for once they'd said what they needed to say.

He ran the hand that had been stroking her hair down until it rested in the small of her back. He began to trace circles there and he felt her exhale below his ear.

He could almost feel her gathering herself back together. The shift was essentially indiscernible but oh so obvious to him.

Beckett drew away from Castle slightly, adjusting in his lap so that the side of her body pressed against his chest. She was no longer straddling him (he couldn't help but be a little saddened by that) but he was thrilled that even as she calmed she hadn't pulled away completely.

"I don't know," she said.

He was instantly afraid that Kate was trying to tell him something about them, about this relationship, about another secret, about something not good.

But then Castle looked into her face. She was looking at him the way she sometimes looked at him at the precinct, when she was trying to decide whether or not teasing him would be worth it, whether or not flirting was appropriate.

"What don't you know?" He wasn't at all surprised that it came out huskily. He was still more than a little turned on from their interrupted kisses.

She felt a little thrill at the catch in his voice. The knowledge that she had done that to him and that he was still influenced despite everything that had just transpired between them was flattering.

But she couldn't let him see that. She'd never live it down if she revealed to him that all she needed to drive her to distraction was his bedroom voice.

"What we should do today," she continued, picking up their conversation from earlier seamlessly as though it hadn't been interrupted by teenage girls and her own personal demons.

"Well," he said, quickly falling back into their typical flirtatious banter, "I have some ideas".

He couldn't stop himself from raising an eyebrow at her and purposefully dragging his eyes down the length of her body.

"Oh," she looked at him seriously, "are they good ideas?"

He knew that her look was completely false, mainly because he had felt her body quiver at his blatant innuendo.

"Pretty good," he nodded.

"As good as your earlier suggestion that the corpse was actually a robot?" she teased.

"Yes," he nodded at her again.

Then he let all of the lust he was feeling come to the surface, filling his voice and his eyes, "Just as imaginative as that".

She felt her breath catch this time, the implications behind his words causing her brain to flood with all the images that her own imagination had conjured up in the past. Because, who was she kidding, she had four years of fantasies to fall back on.

"But first," he willed his breathing to return to normal, "I don't think that a quarter of a cupcake is going to sustain us".

"Probably not," she grinned openly now.

"And, if I recall correctly, we often get interrupted by our stomachs so…"

"Limit the interruptions?"

He nodded adamantly in a way that was so typical Castle that she couldn't help the smirk that formed.

"Yes," she leaned forward and kissed him gently before sliding off of his lap, "no more interruptions".

He stood and walked toward her, sliding his arms around her waist and tugging her back flush against him.

"No more teenagers and no more growling stomachs," he ordered before leaning down and kissing the nape of her neck.

She nodded her approval and stepped out of his embrace heading toward the kitchen and food.

* * *

He made her scrambled eggs and toast and bacon and carefully put the plate in front of her before pouring her a glass of orange juice.

She watched the whole thing in amazement. She didn't let guys make breakfast for her very often. It wasn't that they didn't try, because they did. It was just that the level of intimacy was something she wasn't normally comfortable with.

Of course, with Castle it just felt routine. She wasn't really surprised that they were falling into this pattern so easily. They did almost everything else seamlessly, why not this?

"Museum?"

She replied instantaneously, knowing immediately that he had returned to their earlier conversation. This was something else that they were good at.

"Which one?"

"Natural History?"

She chuckled, "Dinosaurs?"

"Maybe?" his childish enthusiasm shone through.

She looked at him her eyes letting him know that it was certainly a possibility.

He watched her intently, paying attention to their conversation but also relishing it. How was it possible that they could communicate so much through a few quick questions? He loved this about them.

"Dinner?" she asked.

"Pizza?"

"Alexis?"

He looked at her and she read his response. Knew that they needed to eat at the loft, needed to make sure that Alexis was really as okay with them being together as she had seemed. Because (Kate sucked in a deep breath) they were together. It was done. No going back. Not that she even wanted to. She was surprised that not even a little part of her regretted this decision. This was it.

She took a last sip of juice and they stood simultaneously, both heading towards the door. She grabbed her heels from where they'd been thrown in front of the counter and he paused briefly to help her balance as she put them on.

Wordlessly they moved toward the coat closet. He held up hers and helped her shrug into it before donning his own.

It wasn't until they were standing in the elevator, sides whispering against each other, that he realized what had just happened.

When he turned to look at her he saw the smirk on her face. She'd realized it too. How they'd made plans without confirming anything verbally.

"Well," she shook her head, "our communication is getting better".

"And Ryan and Esposito think that our ability to build theory is weird!" He grinned, "Wait till they see this in action, we're never going to say full sentences in front of them again. It will drive them crazy".

She grinned back at him, "Totally crazy".

Then the grin slipped away, "Except…" she continued hesitantly.

"What?" he was concerned by the flash of fear in her eyes.

"I don't want to have to stop working with you!" She let out in a rush.

"Why would that happen?"

He was thoroughly confused by this turn of events. Hadn't they just been saying that if anything their new relationship was improving their connection, would improve their partnership?

"It's against policy," she stated. He was disheartened yet pleased to hear the disappointment in her voice.

"Oh," he said softly, worried about what the implications might be.

She wouldn't take it all back, would she? Or…she wouldn't end the partnership?

"We're going to have to hide it," she said resolutely, having made the decision.

He looked at her, taking in the firm set of her jaw and the resoluteness of her tone.

"Okay".

"Okay?" Her eyes betrayed her. The fear hadn't been about discovery; it had been about losing a part of them. Because working together was a part of them.

"Okay".

He looked at her and the look conveyed everything she needed it to; reassurance and promise.

She smirked at him.

"What?" He looked puzzled.

"They are going to be so damn confused because this," she gestured between them, "you're right, you know? It's even better than before".

She grinned slyly at him, "And they won't have the faintest idea why".

He caught on quickly, "They'll suspect of course".

She nodded, "But we're hiding this, and it will stay hidden, so…"

"Aww, poor, poor," he looked sympathetic, "bet money".

She laughed then and he couldn't help himself. It was the Kate laugh that he loved, loose and free and untethered. He stepped up and kissed her right as the elevator doors pinged open.

* * *

He dragged her around the fourth floor like a little kid and she let him. Just four years ago this would have made her want to climb the walls, but not now. Castle was in his element here and it was endearing to watch.

"Look at it!" he crowed, forcing her to stop in front of the sixth dinosaur.

She allowed him to tug her beside him, but her eyes rested on him instead of the display in front of her.

She loved this. She loved him. She felt the emotions swell over her as he enthusiastically spouted random factoids that were only interesting because Castle was the one saying them.

She leaned into his side, intertwining their fingers together, and he paused his tirade for just a moment.

Their eyes met and he was reassured by whatever he saw in them, so he picked up right where he had paused.

"I love you," she murmured into his ear, interrupting the flow of information.

He stopped immediately, unable to believe what he'd just heard. What she'd just said.

He wondered if maybe he'd dreamed it, so he forced himself to turn and look into her face. Their hands still firmly grasped together.

She looked back at him, a nervous expression on her face. She seemed unsure of herself, which was not a typical Beckett look, but he read it as well as he read her other facial expressions.

He realized that she was waiting for him to say something.

Kate hadn't intended to say it, not really. She meant it completely, but this probably wasn't the best place to say it for the first time. She'd just been so overcome with love for him as he'd paraded them around the museum, making sure to point out things that he thought she'd find interesting.

He smiled at her, reaching down and smoothing the worry line on her forehead.

"Hey," he leaned down and kissed her lightly, before pulling away just enough so that their foreheads were resting together, "I love you too".

"Yeah?" She said breathlessly, as though she hadn't been sure.

He looked a little annoyed at her, but kissed her again, just once but more firmly this time.

"Kate," he grumbled at her, "I've told you that before".

But then all the annoyance left his voice and he hugged her to him before leaning down and whispering in her ear, "Don't ever forget it. I love you".

He felt her smile into his chest, "I love you too".

"You better," he told her sternly.

They drifted toward the exit, still holding hands.

* * *

Alexis stared down at her phone.

Her dad had texted her: _Dinner with me and Kate tonight? _

The fact that he had called her Kate spoke volumes. Even if she hadn't seen them kiss this morning (she shuddered a little at the memory) the use of her first name would have been confirmation enough that they were now together.

She felt a little wave of concern. She hoped that things were going to be okay with her and Kate. She'd treated her kind of badly. Not that Kate hadn't treated her Dad badly recently. She shook her head, because playing the blame game was ridiculous. Who cared anymore?

_Of course! I'll be home by 5._

* * *

She felt Castle shift beside her abruptly in the cab and realized that he was digging in his pocket for his phone.

They were riding back to his apartment.

Somehow she'd always imagined that after they declared their love for each other they'd get lost in wild unbridled passion.

But that hadn't happened.

Instead they'd gone to Grom Gelato and gotten ice cream. He'd offered her bites of his every few minutes and she'd accepted, suddenly feeling comfortable with an action she would have rolled her eyes at the day before.

The knowledge of the love was there though. In the way he led her by the small of her back, in the way his fingers trailed her arms after her coat was removed, in the way she was content just to sit next to him without saying a word.

They'd always been comfortable around each other. Well, she had to admit, comfortable with sexual tension. But now they were fully exposed and it felt so much better.

* * *

_AN: I'm getting excited about things to come…namely dinner with Alexis and their return to work. Do you want this story to continue until their colleagues figure out what they're hiding?_

_I know I was doing daily updates for a while, but unfortunately they're now going to slow to every couple of days. I'll update as often as I can!_


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: Oh Castle.

_Previously on 'Down the Road':_

_She felt Castle shift beside her abruptly in the cab and realized that he was digging in his pocket for his phone._

_They were riding back in to his apartment._

Chapter Twenty-Three

He nodded at the phone as though somehow the action would convey his response, and she couldn't help the smile that formed.

"Alexis agreed to dinner".

Beckett felt relieved. Except…

"You told her I'd be there, right?"

"Of course!"

He read the hesitance in her eyes and found it hard to believe that this tough as nails detective was afraid of his little girl.

"Don't worry," he rested a hand on her thigh, "I have no doubt you can take her".

Her eyes snapped to his face and she couldn't stop the laugh that was bubbling up. She knew he'd done it on purpose to try and break the tension she felt, but she still appreciated it.

"Take her?"

He nodded empathically, "When you're both fighting over me".

"Castle!" she smacked him.

"Oh," he looked at her dejectedly, "no fighting then?"

He smirked as he continued, "Because you're hot when you fight," he mumbled into her ear.

She felt her body react instantly, the flood of heat that had begun when his hand first rested on her thigh swarming the rest of her.

"Hot when I fight your daughter?" She asked, amused but still oh so turned on. Why did this have to happen when they were in a cab?

"Ew!" Castle yanked his hand from her thigh, "Beckett," he whined.

She grinned and reached for his hand, deciding that she'd tortured him enough.

She placed his hand on her thigh, a little higher this time, and leaned against him. She let her mouth drift against his ear as she whispered, "I don't need to fight to be hot".

Castle was surprised. This obvious innuendo wasn't really what they did. Normally it was at least a little masked. Why were they still in a cab?

He was relieved when they finally pulled up to the curb in front of the loft. Another moment of Kate breathing heavily beside him and he would have taken her right there, cab be damned.

They walked inside briskly, his arm under her coat holding her hip firmly to his.

She wanted to be inside his apartment immediately. The heat from his arm surrounded her and the friction of their legs rubbing together was almost too much. Hell, she wanted him to be inside her immediately.

The second they were in the loft they removed their jackets. Both impressed with their control as they hung them in the closet.

They were communicating without words again.

They hadn't touched since Castle had removed his arm from Kate's waist. Both aware that the next time they touched they wouldn't be able to stop.

"We have an hour," Castle said as they walked briskly toward his bedroom.

"An hour?" her voice was tinged with lust.

"Until Alexis is home".

They didn't say anything else. Just stood staring at each other for a moment after Castle closed his bedroom door and slid the lock in place just in case.

Then it was all a blur. His mouth found hers and she felt herself melt. She moaned against him, pulling him as close to her as possible, angling herself so that his thigh was positioned between her legs. She put her arms around his neck and used his shoulders to leverage herself up slightly before dropping her body back against his thigh. She did it again and again, still meeting his mouth passionately with hers, allowing his tongue to search every crevice. As she pulled herself up again, relishing in the friction that was about to come, he surprised her.

He grabbed her under her ass and held her to him tightly. He knew what she was doing, could actually feel a slight dampness through her jeans, but he wasn't going to let her come without his help. He fell backwards onto the bed, still holding her tightly to him, before rolling so that she was positioned below him.

She was surprised by his strength, by how quickly he got her to the bed. A bed! She realized this would be their first time in a bed. His sheets, exposed because he apparently wasn't very good at making his bed, felt cool and smooth beneath her skin. What was uncovered anyway. She realized suddenly that they were both wearing way too many clothes.

He let himself slide slightly down her body. Loving the gasp she made as his hands trailed down her sides. He was frustrated when he saw the jeans. Why wasn't she still wearing that dress? Oh right, work. She'd been to work. And then they'd spent an entire night and day together and somehow he'd managed to miss what she was wearing. Except that button down, he let his hand reach up and undo her buttons. That shirt he definitely remembered.

His hands were undoing her shirt and she wanted to do the same to him, but he was lying on top of her and so she settled for running her hands up and down his back. She shuddered as he finished undoing her shirt and kissed her stomach. Then his mouth drifted upwards and he took her breast in his mouth, wetting the lacy fabric with his tongue. She moaned and clenched the sheets with her hands, unable to even watch what he was doing.

He knew that she was distracted and so he took the opportunity to gently undo the button on her jeans, slowly pulling down the zipper at the same time that he paid attention to her other breast. The soft clink of the metal lost under her moans.

He slowly kissed his way downward and she shouldn't have been surprised at what was coming but somehow she was. She gasped as she felt him yank her jeans down. He kept his hands on her hips, holding her firmly in place, as his head sunk between her legs.

She writhed under him, her hips bucking without her control, swept away by the ministrations of his mouth. God, oh God, that mouth was good at things besides talking. She felt herself building up and was shocked that she'd reached this point so quickly, that he'd barely touched her with his tongue before she felt the desire to let go. It was overpowering and she couldn't stop herself as her hips began to move more quickly. She gasped his name as she came, eyes shuttering and body clenching again and again as she rode out her orgasm.

She thought she was done, but she felt him grin and laugh against her, his mouth still surrounding her and she quivered again, unable to believe that she could come for quite this long. But apparently she could.

She finally felt herself collapse and he seemed to know that she was done. He slid his body back up hers and she didn't even try to hide the groan of arousal as his hips hit hers.

He was so hard and he knew he wouldn't last long. He'd almost come when he heard her overpowered by her orgasm, he'd actually had to look away from the expression on her face. She was so beautiful.

She undulated her hips under him, willing him back to the present, and he looked down at Kate below him.

She was lying there, her face open and her pupils dilated with passion. "I love you," she moaned.

"I love you too," he said as he let his hands fall between them to stroke her.

"I want you," she barely got the words out as she began to buck against his hand.

"I want you too," he admitted, shifting so that the full length of him was pressed firmly against her.

"Rick," she mumbled and her hands fumbled with his pants for a minute.

One she'd gotten them undone she breathed a little sigh of relief and yanked them off him.

As she was focusing on his pants he removed his own shirt, knowing that they didn't have the time for her to get rid of all of his clothing. Another time, he promised himself.

He leaned down again and kissed her, slipping his hand under her bra to cup her fully, tracing around her nipple with his finger.

"Please," she whimpered. She was grinding against him now, completely unembarrassed in her desire for him.

He stilled her hips for a moment, and gazed down at her, waiting for her eyes to meet his. "Ready?" he mumbled, repeating her phrase from the other night, more because it turned him on then because it was necessary. He could feel her slick against his thighs and knew she was.

"Rick," she moaned and tried to look at him sternly.

Whenever she got frustrated at him in the bullpen, whenever she gave him a stern look like that, he wanted to kiss her. He groaned at the memory of it and wasn't able to take it any more, couldn't drag it out any longer.

He slid into her and she let out a little gasp before placing her hands on his ass and encouraging him to go deeper. They moved together like one and he realized suddenly that this was what sex with someone you were completely enamored with must feel like. It felt like he was finally whole.

They didn't last long, they really hadn't expected to. He felt her clenching around him and knew she was trying to fight it off, to prolong things for him. "Kate," it was his turn to look at her sternly. It came out almost as a growl and she met his eyes in surprise.

"It's okay, sweetheart," he assured her as he slid in and out of her. She came instantly, his endearment spurring her on. The second she let go he joined her, unable to prolong it and not wanting to bother trying. This way just felt so right.

* * *

She woke up to a frantic beeping and sat up with her heart racing.

"Baby," he tried to pull her back to bed, back to where she'd been sprawled on top of him. She realized that they must have fallen asleep immediately after sex.

"Something's beeping," she stated, looking curiously around the room. No longer concerned now that she had figured out where she was and who she was with.

"Fuck!" He sat up suddenly and clambered out of bed.

She was a little worried about his exclamation, but her whole body was sore, so she let herself drift backward against the pillows as she watched him searching through their clothes that littered the floor.

He triumphantly pulled his phone from the pocket of his discarded pants.

"Fifteen minutes!" he declared, as though Beckett should already know what he was talking about.

"Huh?" she asked, still relaxed from the sex.

"I set an alarm," he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Alexis will be home in fifteen minutes".

"Oh!" she sat up abruptly, letting her eyes drift around the room. They were both completely naked and their clothes were thrown everywhere.

She was suddenly breathing rapidly and he could see her chest heaving from across the room.

"There's time," he reassured her, "Why don't you go shower, while I order the pizza".

"Okay," she was still a little hazy but accepted this plan.

"Oh! And don't wash your hair".

She looked puzzled.

"Too obvious," he continued as she immediately nodded realizing what he meant, "plus then I can wash it later!"

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"We're showering together later," he told her, saying it simply as though it was already part of a plan that had been discussed.

He'd already pulled on his jeans and shirt, and was out the door before she could come up with an appropriate response to his assumptions.

* * *

_AN: Popular consensus seems to suggest that this story should continue until they get back into the Precinct and everyone figures out their secret relationship. So...I originally said 25 chapters but now I'm changing that. I'm not going to drag this out forever, but I also don't want to speed through the reveal!_


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: Sigh.

Chapter Twenty-Four

She rushed through the shower, careful to choose the body wash that wouldn't smell like Castle.

She was out of the shower and fully dressed ten minutes after Castle had left the room.

She'd taken Castle's advice to heart and been careful to push her hair out of the way. Taking a shower at 4:45 in the afternoon at someone else's apartment would have been a little suspicious.

Castle grinned when he saw her standing in the doorway to the living room. He was sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone. He'd ordered the pizza and had been sitting impatiently waiting for her, trying to pretend that he wasn't.

She was leaning against the side of the doorway watching him, a little smirk on her face. He wondered how long she'd been there, wondered if she'd heard the frustrated sigh.

Beckett loved watching him. It was a little silly really, since she was always teasing him about how creepy he was when he watched her. But still, she understood it, because she got just as much pleasure out of watching him.

She'd learned to read him just as well as he read her, and right now she suspected that he was frustrated. He was scrolling through something on his phone, but there was a little crease between his eyes. She had a feeling that it had more than a little to do with her, and she knew she could make him less frustrated just by announcing her presence, but she kind of enjoyed watching him squirm.

He let out a frustrated sigh and she couldn't help the smirk that formed. Obviously she'd been right, she knew there was no way he was that engrossed with his phone.

Then their eyes met and he only had to see the expression on her face to know that she'd been watching him.

"Now who's creepy?" He asked, unable to hide his joy at finding her watching him.

"Still you," she assured him, walking over to the couch and plopping herself beside him.

She instinctively curled her legs up and tucked herself next to him.

"Oh is that so?" he asked wrapping an arm around her.

"Definitely. You stare at me in public," she glared at him, taunting him to question her logic.

"You're so smart," he said, knowing that he wasn't going to get Beckett to admit anything.

She'd already admitted she loved him and that was plenty.

"And that's why you love me?" She responded, somehow stepping into his train of thought.

"Well," he teased her, "I do love you".

He kissed her gently.

"Is this going to happen every time I come into this room?" Alexis asked.

Beckett and Castle broke apart abruptly, both immediately looking at the teenager who'd just entered the room.

"Probably," Castle nodded at his daughter, a serious look on his face despite the twinkle in his eye.

"Castle," Kate hissed embarrassed.

She was actually blushing.

Alexis noticed and felt a little bad.

"Kate," she walked toward the couple, shaking her head with a smile on her face, "I don't mind".

"You don't?" Kate asked softly.

"Of course not! I mean you're dating my dad".

Both the adults looked at each other with slightly shocked expressions. Okay, she'd seen them kissing that morning, but how did she know they were officially a couple?

Alexis saw their shock and suddenly needed verbal confirmation. Not overheard from the other side of a door confirmation, she needed someone to actually tell her.

"You are dating, aren't you?"

"Yes," Castle assured her.

Alexis looked at Kate waiting until the detective nodded at her.

"Okay," Alexis shrugged, fine with everything now that it had been confirmed, "is the pizza getting here soon?"

"Should be here any minute," Castle looked a bit puzzled that his daughter wasn't responding more to the news. He exchanged a glance with Kate.

"So," Alexis continued and both adults perked their ears up waiting to see what she had to say about this new scenario, "what movie should we watch tonight?"

"Whatever you want, sweetie," Castle said.

Alexis leaned over the bookshelf and began rifling through DVDs while Beckett stared at her back completely confused. Castle saw the look that Kate was giving his daughter and he thought some clarification might be in order.

"Um, Lex," he finally asked.

Alexis turned around immediately, "Yeah?"

"So, Kate and I are together," he continued, trying to figure out how to broach the subject.

"I know".

She said it simply as though it was common knowledge.

"You know…?" He was lost.

Beckett watched the back and forth from the safety of Castle's side, still surprised at Alexis' lack of reaction.

"Dad!" Alexis looked at her father like he was an idiot, "Haven't you guys been together for at least three days now? This is not new information. I mean, you're already sleeping together...ew…I mean, you're been sleeping in the same rooms and I'm not a little kid, I know what that means".

"Right," he nodded at his daughter, "So, you knew?"

"Yeah, it's pretty obvious".

"How obvious?" he suddenly looked at Beckett in concern. She'd tightened her grasp of his arm at the statement.

"Huh?"

"Like, if you saw us hanging out in a room and we weren't touching would you know we were together? If you didn't know about the sleeping and stuff?"

"Oh," Alexis looked puzzled, "I guess not. But why would that matter?"

He felt Kate relax next to him.

"Beckett?" he looked to Kate to explain.

"Alexis," Kate finally spoke and Alexis looked at her in interest, realizing suddenly that she'd been silent through the whole exchange, "your dad and I are together and I hope…I mean, it seems like you're okay with that?"

"Of course," Alexis replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Beckett felt a flash of relief, but then thought carefully before she continued, unwilling to screw up the delicate equilibrium that seemed to exist between them.

"I'm really glad, because it really matters to us, and to me, what you think. But the problem is that if we're dating we can't work together anymore".

Alexis gasped, "But you're staying together, right?" She was a little panicked, because she knew it would devastate her dad if they broke up.

Kate was surprised by the teen's concern, "Yes we are. But we can't tell anyone at work".

"Oh," Alexis' face cleared, "that's fine. I won't say anything to Lanie or anyone".

"Thank you. It's not that I want to keep this a secret," Kate was worried about giving the wrong impression, "I really, I," she swallowed deeply willing herself to get the words out, "I love your dad".

Castle spun his head to look at Kate when he heard her admit that aloud. Sure she'd told him a couple times now, but he knew how hard it was for her to say those words. To say them in front of an audience, even an audience of one, was a real step for her.

"Okay then," Alexis noted.

She turned back around and held up a movie triumphantly, "Let's watch 'Stand by Me'!"

"Isn't that a little before your time?" Castle raised an eyebrow at his daughter.

Kate grinned thrilled to see that this was apparently a gesture he reserved for people he was close to. Now that she thought about it she'd never seen it directed toward anyone else at the precinct.

"Come on Dad…a dead body and a boy who grows up to be a writer? It's perfect for you guys!"

"So true," Kate nodded her head.

Alexis and Castle looked at her quizzically.

"Wanting to solve a murder and refusing to let the real police do their jobs and getting into a lot of trouble and acting like a nine-year-old? You are that boy!"

Alexis burst out laughing and Castle glared at Kate. She just curled herself against him letting her laughter get muffled by his chest.

He looked back and forth between the two of them and grinned, thrilled at the fact that they were making fun of him together.

* * *

They were a good five minutes into the movie when he realized something important.

Beckett was leaning against him.

Not only that, but she'd kept her side pressed against his during the whole exchange with Alexis.

Normally she wouldn't have let him anywhere near her in front of his daughter, their movie the night before had only driven that point home. But here they were, only 24 hours later, and somehow things had already changed.

She'd been fearful of Alexis' response, he knew Kate well enough to be sure of that, yet she'd grasped his arm during the entire exchange. She'd driven strength from him instead of pushed him away. He marveled in the way that small action spoke louder than words and showed that she was really committed.

Even without that nice affirmation he loved this new cuddly Kate.

He squeezed her shoulder gently and she actually buried her head into his neck. Her breathing was slow and steady but he could tell she wasn't asleep yet. But she was calm, and Alexis was right there, and he felt the same contentment he'd felt when they'd been ganging up on him.

She sighed as she shifted closer to him. Even if he hadn't encouraged it she probably would have gravitated toward him. It was kind of ridiculous, but she felt secure here. With Richard Castle's arm wrapped around her and his daughter sprawled at their feet. She felt completely safe in a way she hadn't felt in a long time. Maybe not since…she pushed the memories aside. She was pretty good at that, at compartmentalizing, and she didn't want to think about anything sad right now. She just wanted to be in this moment.

Her eyes drifted again toward Alexis. She was lying on her stomach on the floor, her elbows propping her head up and her knees bent. Every time something exciting happened in the movie she tapped her feet together slightly. Kate thought it was adorable and she felt a rush of affection for the girl. She'd always had a soft spot for Alexis. It was her fear that the girl didn't like her that had kept their relationship distant. But now…

Rick watched Kate watching his daughter. She was looking at her with a sense of wonder, almost as though she was in awe at the joy and innocence that was before her. He felt her stiffen, just for a split second, and wondered if she was thinking about her mother; if she was comparing his content daughter with her own teenage years. She relaxed against him just as quickly and he knew that no one else would have picked up on her momentary slip. Her brow was furrowed a little now, but her body was relaxed and he assumed she'd left thoughts of her mother behind. He ran a gentle hand down her shoulder, pushing her further against his chest so that he could lean down and kiss her between her eyebrows. He wanted to wipe away her concern.

Kate looked up at him with a soft smile. She realized that he'd seen her puzzled expression and shook her head at him slightly. Of course he had been watching her. It was still a little creepy, especially when they were all supposed to be watching a movie, but she now knew the magnetic pull he felt. She stayed in the position he'd forced her into, head leaning back slightly, eyes looking straight at his.

"Okay?" he mouthed so that Alexis wouldn't be interrupted.

She nodded.

They both turned their attention back to the television.

His hand drifted into her hair and he began carding it through her curls as they sat in silence and watch the movie.

* * *

Alexis jumped up as soon as the credits began to roll and Beckett marveled at her energy. Hadn't she gone to bed significantly earlier the night before? Kate looked at the girl suspiciously.

"Lex," she asked casually, "What time do you normally go to bed?"

"Oh! I'm not tired at all, I never go to bed before 10:30!"

"I see," Kate responded, looking at the teen with a smile.

"Ohh," Alexis suddenly realized what Kate was hinting at and blushed.

"It was really nice of you," Beckett reassured her.

"Really?" A slow smile formed on Alexis' face.

"Really," Kate smiled back and nodded.

"Thanks," Alexis grinned.

"What is going on?" Castle had watched the whole exchange and was completely lost. He wondered if this was how everyone else felt when he and Beckett communicated.

"Nothing!" Kate and Alexis said simultaneously, turning to grin at each other again.

"You girls are going to be the death of me," Castle groaned.

"But not for a long time! Right, Kate?" Alexis goaded her father.

Beckett felt a rush of apprehension. A long time? Were they going to be together for a long time? Would Alexis be okay with that…wait, she'd just said it, hadn't she?

Castle watched Kate cautiously, well aware of how his daughter's comment would be construed.

"Right," Kate said softly, her eyes flicking to Castle's.

He smiled at her and nodded reassuringly, "Right," he echoed.

"So," Alexis continued completely unaware of what had just happened, "are you spending the night?"

_"What?"_ Why hadn't she been prepared for that question? Why hadn't she thought ahead? It was a perfectly rational thing to ask. And she actually knew the answer, but she'd kind of wanted to talk to Castle about it in private.

"Um, sweetie, I don't think so," she saw the look of disappointment on Castle's face.

He knew they'd just made a momentous step, she'd just admitted that they were together and that they were going to be together for a long time. Maybe forever. But he also knew that they'd only been dating for four days. And she'd spent most of the last week at his house. He understood that it was time.

"Kate's going to sleep at her own apartment tonight, Lex," he looked at Beckett wanting to make sure she understood that he was okay with her decision, "but hopefully she'll be here later this week?"

He was really asking Kate, but he looked at his daughter as he finished his sentence worried that he'd overstepped by suggesting it in front of her.

Beckett felt relief that he understood where she was coming from. She was fiercely independent. At first it had been a forced independence. Forced by her mother's death and her father's alcoholism and the fact that she really had been all alone, but she'd gotten used to it, and now it was just a part of who she was. Castle was showing her he understood.

"Yes," she said, looking right at him as she said it, promising that she'd be back.

"Okay," Alexis said cheerfully heading upstairs, "see you soon then!"

"See you soon," Kate echoed.

Once they were alone she turned to Castle.

She hugged him unprompted and whispered into his chest, "Thank you".

He knew without asking why she was thanking him and he let his arms encircle her and pull her closer.

"Always".

* * *

_AN: I know, I know, I want them to live together right now too! But somehow I think that's a tad unrealistic :)_


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: Sometimes I'm really jealous of Andrew Marlowe.

Chapter Twenty-Five

She woke up panicked. She didn't know where she was or what was going on. She couldn't stop the images of her mother from rushing through her mind. The images of her mom lying sprawled on her back with her eyes empty. Dead. And blood, so much blood.

She was drenched with it. She frantically pulled off the sweatshirt she was wearing and tried to wipe the blood from her arms.

Then she realized it was sweat. She was soaking wet and she couldn't stop the shivers that were racking her body.

She tried to force herself to lie back down but she couldn't do it, part of her was still trapped in the nightmare and she couldn't get out.

She grabbed her phone and hit her speed dial.

He answered instantly.

"Castle," she could barely formulate his name.

"Kate?" he knew right away that something wasn't right, "Tell me what's wrong!"

He could hear her breathing heavily over the phone but she didn't reply.

"Baby? I'm coming over okay, I'll be there soon," as he was saying the words he jumped out of bed. He hadn't been sleeping, he'd been writing with his laptop propped against his knees, and he felt a wave of relief that he'd been awake. He'd get to her a lot faster.

She let the phone drop out of her hand onto the bed, briefly comforted by the fact that he was coming. But then the nightmare dragged her back under again. Her heart was pounding and she couldn't breath and all she could see was all the blood.

He reached her apartment in record time and let himself in using the key that Lanie had given him once for emergencies. He didn't think she'd like it, the fact that he had a key to her place without her knowledge, but right now he didn't care.

He ran into her room and stood frozen for a minute as he caught sight of her. She was drenched in sweat and breathing heavily.

"Kate?"

She didn't respond to her name.

He rushed over to the bed and then, worried about startling her, gently sat down next to her.

He touched her softly but she didn't respond. Her eyes were open but she was staring blanking in front of her. He could feel her pulse racing.

He wasn't sure what to do, he had a feeling this was a nightmare, maybe part of her PTSD, but he didn't know how to deal with it.

She still hadn't reacted to his presence so he eased himself behind her on the bed. He cautiously wrapped an arm around her, forcing her against his side.

She startled and her breathing heightened while she looked frantically around the room.

Except he could tell she wasn't really seeing it and wasn't really seeing him.

"Hey baby," he spoke to her softly, holding her firmly against him as he stroked her hair off her forehead.

"It's just a dream, it's not real," he murmured next to her ear.

She turned to look at him and he saw a flash of recognition in her eyes before it disappeared, "There's so much blood," she said and the lack of inflection in her voice scared him.

"No," he promised her and he began running his hand over her body, gently stroking her head and her side and her back, "There's no more blood".

He murmured words into her ear, reassuring her, promising her that she was safe and it would be okay.

He felt her relax a little against him but her breath was still a little too abrupt and her confusion was evident.

As she calmed against him he remembered the state she was in. The sweat was intense, it had soaked through her sheets and even though she wasn't wearing a shirt—he realized with surprise that he hadn't even noticed—she was noticeably overheated.

"There was so much blood," she whispered.

He realized that rational thoughts weren't helping here and he wanted to help her. Plus she needed to get into dry clothes. She was shivering.

"No more blood," he promised her and he gathered her into his arms. He was surprised she didn't stiffen as he lifted her though he could feel the shaking that had been rolling through her since he'd first entered the room.

He held her tightly to him as he made his way to her bathroom.

He turned on the water as hot as he could and sat down on her toilet seat, still clutching her to him.

He knew she still wasn't really aware of what was going on, but he was relieved that her breathing seemed to be stilling a little.

Once the room was filled with steam he adjusted the water slightly and stepped into the shower without bothering to remove his clothes.

He stood with her under the water, adjusting her in his arms slightly so that he could soap and rinse her body.

Once he was sure he'd gotten every last trace of sweat off of her he switched off the water. He glanced down at her and she was looking up at him, she looked confused. Not completely there, but he saw a trace of his Kate and he felt reassured by what he'd just done.

"No more blood," he promised and kissed her softly on her forehead.

He felt her nod and watched her eyes drift shut. He grabbed some towels off the rack and wrapped one around her as best he could as she was precariously balanced in his arms. Then he walked back into her bedroom and settled her gently in a chair. He rubbed the other towel through her hair.

He removed his soaking clothes and threw them back into the bathroom.

He searched through her dresser until he found what he was looking for. He yanked the sheets and blankets off the bed, tossing them onto the floor. He didn't bother with a fitted sheet but instead threw a normal one over the bed and grabbed another one to place on top.

Grabbing a pair of boxer that he suspected were a remnant from an old boyfriend, something that he didn't like to think about but was briefly thankful for, he put them on.

He found an oversized t-shirt for Kate and walked back over to the chair. He pulled the soft material over her head and gathered her back into his arms. He was surprised at how easy she was to manipulate, how she hadn't woken up again.

Not, he frowned, that she'd really been awake since he'd arrived.

He paused for a moment before climbing into bed, realizing that the room wasn't that warm, that all they had were sheets, that he was currently almost naked and that her hair was wet. He found the thermostat in the moonlight of the room, thankful that it was right by the door where he thought it would be. He turned it up high walking slowly back to the bed as he felt Kate shift a little in his arms.

He placed her gently on the bed, being careful to put her on top of one of the sheets while pulling back the other. He climbed in next to her and shifted her so that she was firmly pushed against him. Her body was still tense and he softly laid his arm across her stomach, willing the heat from his body to help her relax.

At least her breathing was more even now. Not completely relaxed, but almost.

He waited for a while, concerned that she would have another nightmare, relieved that her breathing was becoming slow and steady. He wasn't sure how long he watched her before he fell asleep.

* * *

She woke up and Castle was there.

He was there and he was naked.

She couldn't remember letting him in and she stilled for a moment as she tried to find the memory. But it wasn't there.

They'd decided to spend the night apart and yet he was there and she couldn't remember and…

He stirred a little next to her and she felt a flash of frustration.

Why wasn't she alone? How the hell had he gotten into her apartment?

She sat up abruptly in the bed annoyed.

Then she caught sight of all of the blankets and sheets on the floor. And her eyes shifted to what they were on top of. Had he remade the bed?

And the room was warm. Way warmer than normal. And she wasn't wearing what she'd worn the night before.

She climbed out of bed and bent to pick her sweatshirt off the floor and recoiled at how damp it was.

Oh.

She looked at him again, sleeping peacefully in her bed, and then took in the state of the room.

Stared at the damp sheets and blankets and clothes.

Shit.

She felt a surge of affection for him at the same time that she felt embarrassment wash over her.

The night terrors hadn't been as frequent since she'd been in therapy. At least she thought they had lessened, she frowned a little as she realized that she'd been sleeping alone for a while. Maybe they'd started back up again? Dr. Burke had told her sometimes your sleep just felt disrupted; sometimes you didn't remember the actual terror part. She hadn't been sleeping well.

She walked into the bathroom and bent to remove his clothes from the floor. They were dripping wet.

There was no way she had sweated that much.

Her eyes drifted to the shower. She always pulled the curtain closed behind her but right now it was fully open.

She realized that her hair was a little damp but she didn't smell sweaty.

What the hell had happened?

She walked back to the bed and lay down next to him. She wanted to ask him what was going on but it was still early and she didn't want to wake him. She really didn't want to wake him if he'd spent the night looking after her.

Even in sleep he responded to her presence and rolled towards her on the bed, engulfing her with his leg and arm.

She couldn't help but laugh. Despite the confusion she laughed.

"Kate?" he asked groggily, opening one eye and peeking at her.

A slow grin formed as he saw her smiling at him.

"Okay?" he asked, propping himself up on one elbow and shifting to face her.

"Yeah, um," she looked embarrassed, "I don't really remember…"

"Hey," he reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear, "that's okay".

He looked at her and was actually relieved by her lack of memory. He didn't want her to have to relive that. He didn't want to relive it and he hadn't even been the one sleeping.

She was moved by the concern in his face and she felt she owed him some explanation, not that she really had one, "It was…it was probably a night terror?"

She made it both a statement and a question.

"Yes," he confirmed.

"Yeah," she let out a little huff of breath and he was amazed that he could find her so adorably distracting when they were having a serious conversation, "there's not much I can do about them. With the therapy they should be lessening but other than that…"

"How often?"

"Honestly, I don't really know," she admitted, "occasionally I wake up during them and remember everything and don't go back to sleep, but if I don't and I'm alone…"

He nodded in realization, "You'd have no idea".

"Yeah," she looked down at her hands and shrugged.

"You called me last night," he told her.

"Really?" she looked up in surprise.

"Yeah," he grinned at her, "how else would I know to come here? Gosh Beckett, I love you and I know we're in synch a lot, but I'm not a mind reader".

She couldn't help but return his smile, though her reply was a little sarcastic, "Too bad".

He nodded slowly, "It is actually, because baby, you really shouldn't be going through that alone".

She was briefly irritated by his insinuation that she couldn't deal with it by herself. But then she met his eyes and she saw his concern for her radiating. Plus, he'd just called her baby and she had to admit that softened the blow.

"Was it bad?" she asked hesitantly, not sure she really wanted to know.

"Yes," he looked at her honestly.

"Sorry," she mumbled, returning her attention to the sheet she was picking at.

"Beckett," he sounded annoyed. He used his finger to force her chin upwards so that they were face to face, "Not your fault. And I wanted to be here, I'm glad I was here to try and help".

"Thank you," she looked at him again.

"Unnecessary," he stated, and he leaned forward and kissed her gently.

"How were you here?" she sounded confused again.

"You called me".

"Yes…but did I actually get up and let you in?" She looked puzzled. She knew it was unlikely she'd be able to do that in the middle of a night terror. The fact that she'd managed to call him was incredible enough.

"Not exactly," he looked over her shoulder attempting to avoid eye contact.

"Castle?" she knew what his avoidance techniques looked like.

"I had a key," he muttered.

"What?" she shrieked, "Since when have you had a key?"

"Um," he thought back, "pretty much since you broke up with Josh".

"What? What the fuck Castle, how did you get a key?"

"Lanie gave it to me," he released the information quickly, suddenly afraid of the wrath of Beckett that everyone always talked about.

"Lanie?" she sounded confused.

"For emergencies," he clarified.

"Uh huh," she looked at him in disbelief but didn't ask for further clarification. This was just like Lanie.

Suddenly the realization hit her.

"You've had a key to my apartment for months and I only got yours two days ago?"

She was irritated and he couldn't help but smile.

"Somehow I don't think you would have wanted me to give you my key a week ago let alone months ago. Plus, that was me really giving it to you. This was someone else giving it to me without your knowledge," he was a little confused by his own logic but continued anyway, "totally not the same thing!"

She narrowed her eyes at him before climbing out of the bed.

"I'm going to take a shower".

"I think that might be a little unnecessary".

"Why?" she spun to face him, still obviously annoyed.

"We may have already done that last night?" he said timidly.

She looked appalled, "We didn't do anything else in that shower did we?"

He climbed out of bed and she noticed with surprise that he wasn't completely naked. The boxers hung low on his hips and she was enthralled by them as he walked towards her, easily distracted enough so that she let him pull her into an embrace.

"It wasn't like that," he murmured into her hair.

"I know," she admitted, letting herself relax against him.

"Castle?"

"Hmm," he planted a kiss on the top of her head.

"Thank you".

"Always".

* * *

_AN: Next stop the precinct! It's finally Monday (for the characters and for us...and that wasn't even on purpose!).  
_

_I studied psychology in college so most of Beckett's night terror symptoms should be pretty accurate. Let me know if anything is glaringly wrong! Re-living trauma is pretty common and I figured that the trauma of her mother's death would impact her just as much as the trauma of her shooting.  
_


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: If someone gave me these characters it would be even more reason to give thanks…

Chapter Twenty-Six

She pulled away from his arms, the hug becoming too much, too emotional. She didn't know where to go from here.

It was awkward being too exposed. Letting him comfort her. She was resilient and independent, she wasn't whatever "this" was, and she didn't want to be.

Like he often did, Castle knew. He let go of her willingly, comforted by the fact that she'd let him comfort her-if only for a minute.

"So," he grinned at her and waggled his eyebrows, "it's Monday".

She looked relieved.

She let herself smile back at him, "Yes?"

"Beckett!" he exclaimed, and he sounded so Castle-like, so normal that if she hadn't known better she'd have claimed the last nine hours hadn't happened.

She loved him for that.

Her love wasn't diminished and she felt only relief. Relief that she wasn't so screwed up that her hatred of letting people in would strip away her love for him the second he saw her at her worst.

He watched Beckett's face carefully. She'd been looking steely ever since she'd pulled out of his hug, but he persuaded himself that he could see her true emotions dancing under the surface. A plethora of them if he wasn't mistaken.

"Castle, quit whining or I'll have to shoot you".

And he knew they were okay.

"But Kattee!"

She grinned at him. How could she not? It was the first time he'd said her first name in his unique Castle whine.

"Yes Rick," she said exasperatedly, but she used his first name on purpose and was thrilled to see his pleased reaction, "I know it's Monday, some of us have jobs we're getting back to".

"Jobs with far too curious colleagues who are easily led astray?"

He said it so innocently that if she hadn't known him she'd have sworn he was earnest.

She laughed at that. It felt good to let go. She felt the rest of her concern about last night and this morning's events fade away.

He wanted to take her up in his arms and kiss her. This laughing uninhibited Kate he'd recently met.

But he didn't. He knew her. She was still too bruised from recent exposure. He grinned internally at the double meaning behind the word. He'd have called her delicate, but if there was one thing Kate Beckett was not it was fragile.

"Is it bad I'm excited about this?" Beckett asked in a way that suggested she didn't think it was bad at all.

Despite his recent thoughts Castle couldn't curb the immediate innuendo, "No, because I'd love it if you got excited by some very bad bad things".

Even though he'd meant it as a joke, and had managed to let his tone show it was sexual innuendo his voice grew gruff at the end.

She stared at him for a moment and he was about to apologize when she leapt at him.

She crashed into his chest, a mixture of tongue and arms and kisses and legs. Winding herself around him in the best way possible.

Just as quickly she let go.

Beckett skirted around Castle and sauntered past him whispering in his ear, "I can be very bad".

He gulped and watched her leave the room.

She didn't know why she'd done it. Though she'd played it off as a heightened version of the teasing that had always filled their relationship in truth his voice had turned her on.

But maybe kissing him like that had been a mistake.

Because now she was hot and bothered.

And if the pressure against her thigh meant what she thought it did, what she knew it did, then he was too.

And now they had to walk into a roomful of detectives who they planned on manipulating. _"Terrific"._

* * *

They drove together from her apartment to the coffee shop where he always made a pit stop. She knew exactly where it was because during that summer he'd been gone she'd found herself missing him, the lack of his presence always apparent when he didn't walk into the bullpen with her morning coffee. She hadn't been able to replace him but she had been able to replace the missing coffee.

If he was curious that she knew exactly where the small shop was he didn't let on.

He paused for a moment before exiting the car, one hand on the door handle, and turned to face her. He smiled at her wishing that he knew if it was okay to kiss her right now. Wondering if it was too soon after the emotional turmoil of the night before.

She saw the look on his face and knew what he wanted. Sometimes he was completely apparent. She curbed the laugh that threatened to escape—actually most of the time he was pretty damn apparent.

Beckett grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him toward her. He released a gasp of surprise and she allowed herself to laugh. The kiss was supposed to be brief, just a simple goodbye. But the second their lips touched she remembered all he'd done for her the night before. And now that she'd had some time to think about it she realized he'd been pretty incredible with the whole thing. Most guys wouldn't deal with the sweat and tears and anger. But Castle not only dealt he actually wanted to be there.

The realization flooded her and she poured everything into the kiss. She slid over the gear shaft and settled into his lap.

He was actually the one that broke the kiss. She was so caught up in it that if he hadn't stopped her she probably would have been arrested for public indecency. Not the best move for a cop.

After he broke away she remained in his lap, foreheads touching, both panting. He used his hand on her shoulder to balance her she clambered back into the driver's seat. Then he slid his hand up her arm to her cheek, gently brushing it with his index finger.

"Wow," he whispered.

She just grinned and shook her head, "Sorry". But she didn't sound at all apologetic.

He grunted, "Yeah right".

She shook her head, trying to get rid of the dirty thoughts that were flowing through it. Hoping that if she could get the thoughts out of her head the rest of her body would get the hint. _"Shit,"_ kissing him had been a mistake. Hadn't she just realized a half hour before that walking into the precinct desperately wanting to rip the clothes off the one person you were supposed to be completely platonic with probably wasn't the best plan?

"See you at work?"

He nodded.

He ran his hand gently though her hair, stopping at her shoulder and leaning into plant a kiss there.

"Castle?"

"Just trying to get my fill of you before I can't touch you for eight hours".

She just grinned and shook her head as he finally left the car.

As she pulled away from the curb she couldn't help but glance in her rearview mirror. He was watching her drive away, a huge grin on his face, head slightly tilted as he watched her until she turned the corner. Of course he was watching her.

* * *

Right before she got off the elevator she stared at herself in the reflective surface of the metal door. She ran her hands through her hair, checked that her lipstick wasn't smudged, and glared at her white shirt willing any stains to make themselves apparent immediately.

She stepped out of the elevator and watched with purpose toward her desk, nodding at her colleagues as expected.

It already felt so much better than the day before. Yesterday, when everything had felt awkward she'd been concerned that she'd lost her enthusiasm for her job. Now that she knew that it had more to do with Castle being absent she felt better. He would be there soon, coffees in hand.

* * *

Beckett didn't even bother looking up when he entered the precinct. She could hear the little spring in his step, smell his cologne, and she knew it was him.

Ryan and Esposito were both working at their desks and looked up at Castle the moment he entered the room.

Beckett kept her head titled, focused on the work in front of her.

"Castle!" crowed Ryan.

"Hey Ryan, hey Esposito," Castle grinned happily at the men.

"How are you?" Ryan sounded concerned.

"Much better, basically back to new. Still a bit sore though," Castle admitted.

Kate squinted her eyes at that, still focused on the paperwork in front of her. He hadn't told her he still hurt. She hoped it wasn't too serious. She hoped her antics from the day before hadn't caused him pain. She was surprised to see a tear land on her paper. _"Fuck". _She angrily brushed it away with a finger. Luckily no more tears fell.

"And how was it with Beckett?" Esposito made sure that his voice was laced with plenty of innuendo.

"She did a surprisingly good job of taking care of me".

Both Ryan and Esposito stared at Castle, trying to interpret the minutest facial expressions.

"Surprisingly good, huh?" Espo grinned at Castle openly.

"Not like that!" Castle looked annoyed.

"And why not?" Ryan butted in,

"Let's put it this way. If Beckett looked after me in that way, do you really think I'd be here today?"

Ryan looked deflated, "Yeah, good point".

Castle nodded at the boys and went to his normal chair, plopping himself down.

He stared at Beckett, but nothing was new about that, so after a while the guys returned their attention to their actual work.

Once she felt their gaze disappear she let herself look up, almost tentatively, gazing through her eyelashes at the man beside her. He grinned devilishly back at her and held up one finger.

One point Castle and Beckett, zero points precinct.

* * *

They didn't have a case, but Beckett was inundated with paperwork that had piled up over her break.

Castle insisted that he was more than willing to stay and keep her company while she finished it, but she just rolled her eyes at him.

He was fading fast and even he knew it. It was his first time out of the loft since his injury, and even though he felt almost back to normal the exhaustion was looming around the corner. Castle had to admit that his sleepless night hadn't done anything to help that. Not that he'd give it up. Seeing Beckett weakened and with her defenses down wasn't something he enjoyed, but he also saw it as a necessary progression if they were ever going to make this relationship THE relationship.

He wanted that despearately, which may have been why they were fighting so intesenly.

"Go home Castle!"

"Beckett, seriously, I'm not leaving you here, you don't need to be alone right now".

He'd noticed that she'd been jumpy all day. Not just about their relationship and the secret they were hiding, but about other things. The slam of a mug on a desk, the shrill ring of a phone. Her startle response was heightened and Google told him that wasn't good.

Of course, if he'd thought about it long enough to filter his mouth he wouldn't have said anything at all.

"What? Castle, I am not a child! I survived long before you entered my life. I don't need a knight in shining armor," she was yelling by the end of the statement, but luckily everyone else had already left for the day.

There had been a few uniforms wandering in and out, but for now they were alone.

"Kate," Castle responded through clenched teeth, "I've never thought of you as some one who needs protection. Hell, if anything you're the knight. But you're tired too, it's not just me".

She didn't even respond, just stood up and walked angrily toward the murder board.

The boys had cleared the case earlier that day, but in typical fashion they'd merely smeared the dry erase marker instead of erasing it fully.

She put her anger into the wiping movements and he watched her for a minute before trying again.

"Kate, please," he made sure his voice was softened and tried really hard to hide the annoyance he was feeling, "I'm exhausted, that's true, but you need sleep as much as I do. Please come home".

Although she'd never let him know it, it was the word 'home' that did it for her. She didn't know what he meant by it, hoped to God that it wasn't some suggestion (they were way too early in their realitonship for that, thank you very much) but it still made her feel better.

"Fine," she huffed and rolled her eyes. It was clear she wasn't at all happy with the situation.

She put down the eraser and swept past him, making him catch up with her. She didn't look back, but she pausd at the elevator until he was at her side.

They continued toward her car and she still the ignored the man standing next to her. But she could feel his presence oozing around her.

She drove to her apartment purposefully bypassing his loft.

She didn't really want him to go home. She couldn't admit it, not even to herself, but she was spooked. Today had not been a good day. Ever since her full-fledged nightmare the night before her PTSD seemed to be returning.

She parked near her building and stormed towards it, still aware that he was following closely at her heels.

A car backfired and she threw herself against him, shielding him. Toppling both of them over into a slushy patch of almost melted snow.

Realization hit that it was just a car and she blushed.

He knew immediately what had happened. In fact, in the split second after the car had backfired he'd already been turning toward her, fully aware that her hypervigilence wouldn't let it escape.

He was still startled by the feel of her body against his, by the way they were lying on the ground breath shoved out of them.

As soon as they'd touched the ground and he was aware of what had happened he acted. He didn't need her to run away from him again.

He stood up and reached toward her. He grabbed her arm and yanked her next to him. He could feel her trembling and see the blush spreading across her cheeks.

She knew it had been a massive overreaction but she was still on alert.

She thought he'd say something….maybe an "I told you so". But he was silent.

He pulled her toward him for only a moment wrapping his arms around her and breathing in the scent of her hair.

Then he released his hold and softly kissed her forehead.

He held out his hand and she timidly placed hers within his.

The truth was she was terrified.

* * *

_AN: Happy (almost) Thanksgiving to all my American readers! For those of you not from the US, Thanksgiving is a time to contemplate what we are thankful about. This year I'm thankful for all of you; for your reviews and comments and encouragement. So, thanks!_

_I apologize in advance for the slow updates the next several days, I'm seeing my extended family for the first time in six months. _


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: These updates are slower than I want them to be & I still don't own Castle.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Her heart was still racing as he slid the bolt on her apartment door firmly in place. Beckett tried to brush it off even though they both knew that she was on the brink of losing it.

Clearing her throat she asked, "Do you want anything to drink?"

Castle was trying to figure out how to deal with this fragile situation. He didn't want to push too hard, didn't want her to make him leave when the only place he really wanted to be was here. Because if he wasn't here he wouldn't be with Kate and he'd have no idea whether or not she was okay.

What he really wanted was a drink, a nice stiff one. Knowing Beckett that was probably what she wanted too. But he knew it wasn't a good idea for either of them.

"Water," he said firmly, more a statement than anything.

She nodded and went to grab two glasses out of the cabinet above her sink. He noticed her hand shaking and had to fight for self-control so that he didn't jump to the rescue. Castle wasn't even entirely sure what he would have been trying to rescue, Kate or the glasses. But either way he knew it was a bad idea.

"_Don't spook Beckett"._

Beckett tried to get a grip on reality. They were inside, they were together, and they were safe, nothing bad had happened. She repeated the mantra over and over as she filled the two glasses with water. She was relieved she had the task as it gave her a moment to face away from Castle. She knew he would read her the moment he looked into her eyes, and she wasn't sure she could take that just now.

She handed him a water and wordlessly walked past him toward her couch.

Beckett hadn't invited him in, but he decided that the glass of water was invitation enough. He followed her to the couch and sat down next to her. She was clutching the water with both hands, knees drawn up to her chest, eyes staring straight ahead. It was way too reminiscent of her night terror for his liking. He knew she was awake now but still, those eyes haunted him.

She shivered and he realized that the apartment was a little chilly. He doubted that was the complete reason why she was shaking, but he decided that part of it was due to the cold. At least that was something he could fix.

Castle got up off the couch and Beckett's eyes followed him. He could feel them boring into his back and he was relieved that she was still cognizant of her surroundings, so thankful that she hadn't disappeared completely again.

First he adjusted her thermostat. It was set to 50 degrees and he couldn't help the snort that escaped. Of course Beckett would keep her apartment cold when she wasn't there. He immediately cranked it to 65. It was freezing outside, the chill of a New York winter weeping in through the panes of glass in her windows.

He turned back toward the couch and saw that Kate was no longer watching him. She'd returned to her earlier position and was apparently drilling a hole in the empty space in front of the undecorated white wall of her apartment. Castle grabbed a red wool throw off the back of the couch and gently wrapped it around Kate's shoulders. She startled slightly at the touch. She glanced at him but then immediately looked away.

She was angry, frustrated, irritated, scared shitless…she didn't even know what she was anymore. Beckett just knew that Castle was going to say something and she dreaded it. Because maybe he would say the wrong thing, maybe she'd have to end this before it began, or maybe he'd say the right thing at the wrong time, or maybe…again she didn't know.

Castle finished adjusting the blanket around her and she snaked one hand out and grasped hold of it so that it didn't slip off her shoulders. Her knuckles turned white as she tensed, waiting to see what his next move would be. She certainly didn't have any.

"Kate," his voice was soft as he maintained a light pressure on her shoulder after he finished wrapping the blanket, "call your therapist".

He handed her a phone and she was surprised she hadn't noticed it in his hand before.

He continued, his hand still on her shoulder as though to tether them together, "I'll go in the kitchen and prepare some dinner while you make the call".

She didn't say anything.

"I'll be right back when you're done," he gave her shoulder a squeeze and then walked back into her kitchen.

* * *

He didn't really expect Beckett to have any food worth cooking, but it was as good an excuse as any to give her some space. As much as he wanted to be the one to help her, he knew that in this situation she needed someone else.

He rifled around in her fridge and was not surprised to see several Styrofoam containers. All filled with completely unusable leftovers. Definitely no surprise there, that one time he'd stayed on her couch and he'd tried to make breakfast the next morning her bacon was growing things. He shuddered.

Well, he'd said he'd make dinner and that was certainly a lie, but at least he could make use of his time. He pulled his cell out of his pocket and tried to figure out where to order food.

She'd told him once that mac and cheese was her comfort food so he decided to go with that. The only problem was figuring out where in the world to order that from. Not that it would be impossible, after all, this was New York. Still, he was used to ordering Chinese and Italian and Thai. Not exactly the comfort food she needed.

* * *

Beckett was surprised when Castle placed her phone in her hand and even more surprised when he calmly left her to her own devices. He was right of course. She was supposed to call Dr. Burke in emergency situations and a full-fledged PTSD reaction probably warranted an emergency. But she didn't want the make a phone call. Hell, all she wanted to do was grab a bottle of vodka and drink. Not healthy, plus totally impossible with Castle in her kitchen.

Suddenly she was pissed he was still here. What was he playing at? She'd said she didn't need to be saved and she meant it. She was fucked up, she knew that, but he couldn't fix that.

Except…he wasn't really trying to fix it. He'd give her a phone, told her to call her shrink, and given her some peace. How was she supposed to feel about him again?

She called Dr. Burke.

* * *

Castle finally found a place that delivered what he wanted and tentatively exited the kitchen. He didn't hear Kate on the phone, so either she'd finished talking or she'd never started. He really hoped it was the former.

Beckett knew the moment he'd entered the room. He was hesitant in his approach, but he still walked towards her. Sitting carefully on the couch leaving a little room between them, just enough so that they weren't touching but she could have easily leaned into him if she wanted to.

Suddenly she wanted to.

She placed her head on his shoulder, "I have an appointment tomorrow morning before work".

"Good," he cautiously reached out and kissed her forehead.

She jerked back as though she'd been burned, but just as quickly she settled back against his shoulder.

She continued, ignoring her reaction because honestly what was there to say, "He said I should have someone stay with me tonight".

Beckett said it bluntly but without expectations. She wasn't asking him to stay, mainly because she wasn't sure that was the best idea for either of them.

"I wasn't going anywhere," he assured her.

"Okay". And she meant it. If he wanted to stay he could stay and she was happy with that. But if he'd wanted to go? Maybe that would have been fine too, because she didn't think the night was going to be a picnic. So his choice to stay was just that: okay.

"Where's my dinner?"

The way she said it was suddenly all Beckett and he had to grin. The tension was briefly broken. She was right there, this woman he loved, leaning into his shoulder tensed with PTSD, yet she was as petulant as ever .God he loved her.

"Dinner?" he was purposefully clueless.

"Didn't you promise me dinner?" She sounded briefly confused.

"Aw yes. Well, the last time I checked you didn't eat Styrofoam. But correct me if I'm wrong and I'll fry up a nice batch".

"Castle!" she sat up, almost completely herself and glared at him.

He laughed.

"I ordered food, okay?"

She narrowed her eyes at him as though she didn't trust his decision making prowess, as though he'd never ordered enough Chinese food for the whole precinct before, "What did you order?"

"It's a surprise!" he sounded like a little kid and she immediately rolled her eyes.

He was pleased to see that they could still banter. Even with the horrible night she was having they were still them. And then the doorbell rang. She froze, pulling away from him completely rigid, she almost stopped breathing.

"Oh Kate," he whispered.

He knew better than to touch her so he murmured gently, "It's just the food, I'll be right back".

She tried to get her breathing under control as he walked away.

By the time he'd paid the guy, grabbed plates and reentered the living room she was almost herself again.

"Guess!" he sounded gleeful again, and she was pleased to see he was ignoring what had just happened. She so didn't want to talk about it.

"If you just got dessert," she threatened.

"Nah, even I'm not that dumb. The way to a woman's heart is through her stomach you know," he nodded adamantly still in ten-year-old mode.

"Castle," she raised an eyebrow at him, "that's the way to a man's heart".

"Ridiculous," he scoffed, "everyone knows a woman loves a man who cooks".

"You didn't cook, you just dialed a phone".

"Well then," he opened the containers that he'd set on her coffee table, "I guess you don't want any mac and cheese".

"I never said that".

Castle just grinned at her and spooned it out onto her plate. He handed her the plate and then quickly served himself. Returning to the couch he purposefully sat way too close to her, pushing their thighs together. Beckett let out an irritated sigh but she didn't move away so he could tell she wasn't really mad.

They ate in silence for a few minutes and she let her mind drift.

How had the tables turned so quickly? She'd been taking care of him. Hell, four days ago she'd been worried about him. Now she had no doubt he was worried about her.

Almost as though he could read her mind (which she really really hoped was not the case), Castle interrupted her thoughts, "This is nice".

"Nice?" She was surprised, but his statement sounded sincere. She would have been less shocked if he had said it with sarcasm.

He nodded, "I like this new aspect of our relationship. That we can take care of each other. Not that there needs to be give and take, not that I want us to be in bad places, but I like the fact that when we are? The other person's there".

"Huh". She'd never thought of it like that. Only thought about the fact that she was showing him too much weakness, that it would harm his image of her. Hurt her reputation or something. But he was right, wasn't he? She'd seen him at his worst and she didn't think any less of him. Maybe this wouldn't ruin them.

They finished the rest of their meal in silence but Castle wasn't worried. A silent contemplative Kate was way better than a disappearing Kate; if she'd run away from his words that would have been bad. Silence, while not the best, was a pretty close second.

But finally he'd had enough. Their plates had long since been emptied.

"Let's go to bed".

She raised an eyebrow at him, "How do you know you're sleeping in my bed tonight?"

"Kate".

The way he said her name, so final, so sure of himself, so sure of them, made it all okay.

"Fine," she sounded way more annoyed than she really was.

She walked into the bedroom and he paused for a minute, "I'm just going to put these dishes in the sink".

Castle had noticed her phone was still lying on the couch. He grabbed it and quickly typed in the password. He knew what it was instantly, without even thinking, and he only briefly pondered how creepy that was.

He looked at her recent calls and grabbed his own phone to add Dr. Burke as a contact. Though he was trying to be calm for Kate's sake he was more than a little worried that the night terror that was (in his mind and probably Kate's as well) bound to come would be way worse than the night before.

He knew it was an invasion of privacy and he felt guilty. But he knew she'd never give him the number, and he'd feel even guiltier if he was unable to help her when she was really struggling.

Castle quickly stuck the dishes in the sink and went to join Beckett in the bedroom, both their phones in his hands.

"Here," he tossed it next to her on the bed, "you left it on the couch".

"Thanks," she smiled up at him and he wished they were going to bed with a different agenda. Wished more than anything that their stupid lives didn't keep getting in the way of their nights. Not that he begrudged or blamed Kate. He just wished, for both of them, that it wasn't this difficult.

She gestured toward the chair in the corner of her room. The chair where he'd placed her sopping wet the night before. He shivered then focused, she was pointing at the boxers he'd slept in.

"If you want?" she sounded tentative, almost shy.

"Perfect," he assured her and he grabbed them on the way to the bedroom.

* * *

When he entered the room again it was dark. Castle could tell from Beckett's breathing, still a little faster than it should have been, that she was still awake.

He eased back the covers and slid in next to her, not sure if he should touch her or not.

She felt him lie down on the bed and was instantly aware of where his body was in relation to hers. And the answer was too far away. She knew Castle liked to be close to her (hadn't he proved that in the precinct more than once when she'd spun around and almost spilled coffee all over him because he was right behind her?). So she scooted closer to him and smiled when his arm came around her waist.

"Castle?"

"I'll wake you up".

"Thanks".

"Oh, and what time's your appointment in the morning? I'll set an alarm for that".

"Already did," she assured him, "and it's for seven AM".

"You mean we're going to be late the precinct?"

Suddenly he sounded alarmed and even though she could tell it was a bit of show she couldn't help the laugh that escaped.

"Gee Castle, good to see you get stressed over the important things".

"What?" he sounded disgruntled and childish, "If we're late they're bound to think we slept together and it's so not fair".

"Steady there tiger, we did sleep together and also who says we're both going to be late?"

"But Katteee," he trailed off, not sure what else he wanted to say.

"Rick," she turned in his arms to face him, even though she couldn't see more than the faintest outline of his face in the dark room, "I want you to come to a session sometime, but not tomorrow, okay?"

"Of course," he reassured her immediately, "I wasn't even thinking of that. I just thought that maybe I should go home and check on Alexis before heading into the precinct, which would make us both late".

"Oh," she suddenly felt incredibly guilty.

"Kate," he warned her, and she was once again surprised at how adult he sounded.

"Yes?"

"I want to be here". It was his firm voice and she knew he was stating the truth.

She nodded and even though he couldn't really see the motion she knew he understood. She settled against him before stiffening for just a moment, "Try to wake me".

He settled a kiss into her hair and this time she didn't pull away.

She took it as a yes and let her eyes drift shut.

This night was probably going to be action-packed, but not in the way either of them wanted.

* * *

_AN: We're going to end up back at the precinct in the next chapter or so. I do have an outline I'm following, but sometimes these characters escape from me, as was the case with Beckett's PTSD...once it was introduced I had to deal with it! Hope you all don't mind the brief divergence. _

_I also hope you had (if you celebrate it) a wonderful Thanksgiving!_


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: I still don't have any rights to these characters.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

When he woke up the next morning he felt as though he hadn't slept at all. Unsurprising because he really hadn't. It wasn't like he had expected his presence to stop her nightmares. That would have been too simple, something that belonged in a romance novel rather than in real life: presence of ruggedly handsome author in bed ceases detective's nightmares. He snorted, _"yeah, right"._

Still, he'd felt helpless for most of the night.

Looking down at the woman who was tightly curled against him, hair still damp with sweat but face finally peaceful, he had to admit that it was all worth it.

The sleepless night, the fear that washed over him when he couldn't snap her out of a nearly catatonic state, the punching that he'd had to endure before he figured out how to safely restrain her? He'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

He'd eventually caved at about 5 am and called Dr. Burke. He'd really wanted to call earlier but his concern over waking the psychologist and his fear of Beckett's reaction in the light of day made him wait.

At a certain point his concern for Kate had overwhelmed everything else and he'd hit his speed dial.

Not that the doctor had many suggestions. Just to try and keep her from hurting herself, to try and speak to her calmly, to try and ease her back to sleep.

No miracle cure here. Nothing that money could buy. And he'd have given up most of his money if it meant Kate never had to go through last night again.

The only good thing that had come from the phone call was that Burke had agreed to push Kate's appointment later if she managed to fall into a relatively peaceful sleep. Something that she'd achieved about 30 minutes before her alarm had been due to go off.

He'd shut it off before it buzzed and oh, he was so dead…Beckett might actually shoot him for real when she found out he'd not only called her therapist but also moved her appointment.

Shit, he hoped this wouldn't ruin things for them.

He had been careful though. Castle had made sure to move her appointment by only half an hour. She should still be able to get to the precinct by the expected arrival time…it just wouldn't be _her _expected arrival time. Damn, why did that woman always have to be responsible and early for her job? Who did that?

He sighed, because he knew Kate Beckett did that. It was part of what drew him to her: her commitment to the victims, her endless desire to find the truth whatever that might be. And finding the truth promptly typically required time, certainly more time than an eight-hour workday.

He wished it could have been moved later and he could have given her more than an extra half hour so that she could get more sleep, but he knew what was important to her.

She stirred next to him and Castle tentatively wrapped an arm around her shoulder. He was pleased to see that she stayed asleep, and even more pleased to see that she snuggled closer to him. The thought of Beckett as a snuggler was fairly ridiculous but Kate as a snuggler? Yeah that wasn't as surprising.

He liked that he was getting to know both sides of her, for so long he'd been relegated to the professional arena that the personal one still held little surprises.

* * *

Beckett's alarm went off and she swore. She reached her hand over to the bedside table and searched for it with her hand, blindly waving it over the table as she refused to open her eyes.

She heard a chuckle and felt her phone being nudged into her hand.

"Castle," she grumbled, and she unfurled herself from his side.

If she was surprised to find herself glued to his side her face didn't show it. Probably because she wasn't surprised at all…it was kind of nice waking up this way. She couldn't remember the last time she'd woken up to find herself so firmly pressed against someone. It was like her body knew that she needed him.

She knew all of a sudden that she did.

She'd admitted to herself that she loved him, but somehow admitting that she needed him was a whole other step.

Somehow she managed to come to this genius revelation while she was half awake and half asleep and her phone alarm was going off.

"Beckett," Castle groaned, because even though he'd been awake for a while he still didn't like the obnoxious chirping.

"Sorry," she mumbled as she tapped on her phone and shut off the alarm.

She closed her eyes for just a minute because she was exhausted. Completely exhausted, like exhausted after a case where they didn't sleep for twenty-four hours exhausted. Which probably meant. Shit.

She rolled onto her side and opened her eyes, "How bad was it?"

He actually shuddered, a uncontrolled not at all purposeful shudder, and that was all the answer she needed.

"Shit". She said it aloud this time because, honestly, what else was there to say.

She sat up in the bed and rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes willing to room to be less fuzzy, forcing herself into full consciousness.

She turned to look at him again and a frown flitted across her face.

He sat up next to her and looked at her quizzically, "What?"

"Your lip, it's busted".

He reached up and touched his mouth for just a second, confusion on his face, before he just nodded as the memory came back, "It's nothing".

"Did I," her voice was appalled, "do that to you?"

"You know," he tried to make it a joke, "I would not recommend getting in a fight with you. You have a pretty awesome left hook".

"Castle," her eyes actually filled with tears.

He grabbed her shoulders and forced her against him, drawing him into a hug that he wasn't planning on letting her escape. Though he knew after last night that she 100% could have gotten out of it if she wanted.

Beckett was surprised that she was letting him hug her. She had hit him? What else had she done? She'd never meant for him to get hurt. Hell, if this was what happened when he stayed with her she'd never let him stay again.

"I'm spending the night tonight," he interrupted her thoughts.

She once again found herself hating his mind-reading abilities, or maybe just his timing.

"Kate," he pulled her tighter to him, not needing to see her face because he knew what her reaction would be, "If I hadn't been here you would have probably hurt yourself. Maybe hurt yourself badly. And I know I can't do much: I can't find a magic cure, I can't make things better for you even though I desperately want to. God, my presence probably doesn't even help that much though I wish it did. But if I can help even the tiniest amount, if I can make sure you don't hurt yourself, than fuck it, that's what I'll be doing. I'll be sleeping here next to you".

Beckett didn't know what to say to that. Because what to you say to someone who has basically proven their love to you for the fifty-billionth time? And proven it to you with both their actions and eloquent words?

They were both silent although he still held her tightly against his chest and she still let him.

"Kate?" he was tentative.

"I don't have the words".

"Well, then, good thing I have lots of them. Make my living on them in fact," he brought a teasing tone back into the conversaion.

He let go of her and was surprised to find her still leaning against his chest. She kissed him there, warm and open-mouthed, and he was suddenly reminded of all the things that he wanted to do to her that they so did not have time for. Time!

"Kate, you need to get ready, don't forget your appointment".

"I know," and she rolled her eyes at them.

He tried to hold back his grin but some of it escaped anyway.

She glanced at her phone and then she was fully awake, pulling away from him and clambering out of bed.

"Wait, what time did my phone go off? There is no way we've been talking for over an hour!"

"_Oh right, ugh," _he'd already forgotten he'd have to deal with this.

"Your appointment is at 7:30 not 7," he decided to just state it and see where that got him.

"No, I distinctly remember it was for 7 am and I set my alarm to give me time to get there and," she found her clock app, "why did it get reset?"

"_Okay, so much for a simple statement". _Why was he dating a detective again?

"Kate," he pulled her down on the bed so that she was sitting next to him, because he was more than a little afraid she'd run away from him in the middle of a sentence and he really wanted her to understand his motivations for once, "you didn't have a good night".

She blushed, but then the annoyance overcame her, "I know Castle, what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Oh wait, yes had had, "much. I didn't do anything much. I talked to Dr. Burke last night and we moved your appointment back a half hour".

"You what?" she was mad, and her eyes flashed annoyance and anger and just a little bit of fear, "What right did you have to do that?"

"You barely slept okay!" he almost screamed it at her and even while he was doing it he silently berated himself, this was not how he'd wanted to deal with this. This was not calm and rational, "Honey, you were awake for most of the night. Both of us were. Around four am you started to really lose it, before you'd just been frozen and crying and that was scary enough for me, but then you started to fight. The bed, me, and yourself," his voice softened at the end and he reached out to her.

She was frozen again, a different kind of frozen from last night. This one wasn't as terrifying but it was just as upsetting. He could tell she wished she didn't know.

But now he'd started and he couldn't stop, because he had to make her see he hadn't meant to overstep.

Castle rolled up her shirt and caressed her stomach lightly, removing his hand once her eyes drifted downward. As he'd suspected she was already brusing, just a light bruise but still enough to show where she'd hit herself the night before.

"I called him because I was worried you would really hurt yourself, and I need to know how to stop you. I told him you'd barely slept, certainly nothing that hadn't been nightmare filled, and asked him if we could move the appointment a half hour later. He agreed, especially if you were getting some actual uninterrupted sleep. Which you did. Sort of…" he trailed off, unable to meet her eyes.

"How much?" her voice was steady, almost cold.

"How much what?"

"Sleep did I get?"

"You fell asleep peacefully maybe forty-five minutes before your alarm went off".

"Oh," she touched his shoulder and scooted closer to him, wrapping her arms around him, "thank you".

Even she was surprised by her emotional response but it just felt right.

"Except," her voice was suddenly angry, but that fake angry she used when she was annoyed at him but really thought he was being adorable, "how did you know my phone password?"

"Katherine Beckett," he immediately picked up on her mood, "you should know by now that I can read your mind".

He bent down and kissed her.

"Hey!" she pulled away, "I thought you said you weren't a mind-reader?"

"Eh, well, I make exceptions for you".

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes at him.

"And I'm staying again tonight".

"Whatever," she shrugged but graced him with a small smile, "Now get out while I get dressed".

"But Katteee, it's not like it's anything I haven't seen before".

"Castle," she warned, and she threw a pillow at his head as he left her alone in her bedroom.

* * *

_AN: Not quite as long as I'd like, but I'm about to board a plane and I decided to give you all what I had! Expect an update again tomorrow since this story is finally moving forward..._


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: Sadly the rights to Castle aren't available for Cyber Monday.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Castle walked into the precinct and wasn't surprised that Beckett was already at her desk. He felt a surge of affection as he approached and caught a glimpse of her bent over a stack of paperwork, brown curls tumbling around her face. He'd missed her. He realized it was totally ridiculous because they'd only been apart for three hours but still, he'd missed her.

He set her coffee down on her desk as he always did and whispered as he sank into his chair, "I missed you".

The eye roll he got in response was not unexpected.

"Hey Castle," Esposito greeted the author as he hung up the phone at his desk, "Why're you so late? Anything to do with the late arrival of…" He trailed off as he caught sight of Beckett's glare.

Ryan chose that moment to exit the break room, "Castle! You're finally here. What important things were keeping you from joining us on time this morning? It wasn't…"

He trailed off as he saw Esposito vehemently gesturing from behind Castle and Beckett.

"Anything bad, I hope," he finished with a gulp.

"Nope," Castle grinned at the detectives, "just spending some quality time with my daughter. Turns out some people get sad when I'm not around," he purposefully placed his hand on Beckett's desk, precariously close to where hers was resting "might even miss me. Don't you think, Beckett?"

"I don't think I'd miss you that much right now," Beckett grumbled as she tried not to reach out and take his hand in hers.

"Okay," he said cheerfully, "then I'm going to disappear for a while".

"What?" she was unable to keep the surprise out of her voice as her head snapped up.

"Don't worry," he teased, "I'm just going to go talk to Lanie".

"Okay," she replied, but her eyes narrowed as she watched him saunter toward the elevator. Somehow the fact that he was headed to talk to the ME didn't make her feel any better.

* * *

Esposito poured himself a cup of coffee as Ryan hovered at the break room doorway.

"No one's here," Ryan sounded relieved.

"Dude, thanks for using those awesome detective skills like your eyes…totally would have missed the fact that we're alone".

Ryan brushed off the insult, "So what do you think is going on with Beckett and Castle and Lanie?"

Esposito turned quickly, "What do you think is going on?"

"Did you see how mad Beckett looked when Castle left to talk to Lanie? And how often does he go and talk to Lanie without Beckett there?"

"Huh, I don't know, maybe he wanted to drag some info about Beckett out of her," Esposito suggested.

"Really? That's the best you can do? Who's the detective now? Maybe," Ryan grinned, "Lanie and Castle are together and Beckett is not happy about it".

Esposito looked appalled, "Lanie and Castle getting it on? No way! She would not do that to…"

"You?" Ryan's grin grew wider.

"Man, just, shut up," Esposito threatened as he stalked towards Ryan.

"Got it!" Ryan inched backwards holding up his hands in defeat.

Esposito returned to adding sugar to his coffee and Ryan decided now was not the time to remind him that he'd already added some.

"They're not together," Esposito said, although he didn't sound completely sure.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Ryan nodded, "Castle's a loyal guy, he wouldn't do that to…people. Plus he's been hung up on Beckett for years, there's no way he'd rebound with her best friend".

"True," Esposito sounded sure this time, "but what the hell are Lanie and Castle talking about?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Castle had made his way down to the morgue and was standing awkwardly in the doorway as Lanie finished an autopsy.

"Castle!" she ordered, "Either get in or get out, but either way make up your mind".

"Sorry Lanie," he said meekly as he entered the room, almost managing to control his surprise when the door slammed shut behind him.

She shook her head at him, "The amount of times you've come in here you'd think you'd remember about that door".

"Yeah, but it's a morgue, and there's a dead body on your table, and that door is heavy and now we're trapped in here, and Beckett's not here".

"Castle," Lanie warned.

He gulped, "Right, sorry Lanie".

"Scared without your better half?" Lanie joked.

"No," he exclaimed, a little too loudly.

Lanie just grinned at him, "Where is Beckett anyway?"

"Upstairs, doing paperwork".

"Well, she doesn't have a case right now, and even if she did you wouldn't be here by yourself since, you know, you're not a real cop so…what're you doing here, Castle?"

He scuffed his foot on the floor and tried really hard to look like he was worried about something. Which wasn't too hard because he was actually worried about Lanie.

"Spit it out Castle!" Lanie was getting exasperated.

"I was wondering," he purposefully kept his eyes focused downward in case they gave him away, "if you thought Beckett would let me take her out on a date".

Technically he and Beckett hadn't come up with a concrete plan, just that they were going to mess with Lanie and the guys. This had seemed like a pretty good idea when he'd thought of it this morning, but now he was a little concerned about what Lanie would say.

He allowed himself to look up at Lanie. She looked surprised.

"Well, I don't know," she began hesitantly, "there seems to have been some tension between the two of you recently".

"Yeah," he admitted, "but Lanie I really care about her". He knew his words sounded sincere because he wasn't acting anymore.

"Good," she said brusquely, "because if you hurt my girl…" she trailed off, but the daggers that her eyes were making let him know that whatever she did, it would not be pleasant.

"I'd never hurt her," Castle promised.

Lanie's eyes softened a little, "I think you mean that, which is why I'm going to help you".

"_Yes,"_ Castle had to stop himself from fist pumping because this had been exactly what he'd wanted.

"Thanks, Lanie," he said instead.

"I'll talk to Beckett for you, kind of broach the subject, you know?"

"Perfect," he grinned at her and nodded happily.

Because boy was he happy, he hadn't even realized that this plan would confuse Beckett too. But that was even better, because he loved it when he confused her.

* * *

Castle was whistling when he strode back into the bullpen and sat down on his usual chair. He pulled out his phone and immediately started trying to beat his highest score on Angry Birds. He didn't even notice the three pairs of eyes that were watching him, all wondering the same thing: what had Castle been doing in the morgue?

* * *

When her phone rang Kate was relieved. She eased her neck from side to side as she glanced at the caller ID. Her neck was stiff and maybe she'd force Castle to help her with that later, he'd probably like it…she stilled as she noticed the call was from Lanie.

"Hey Lanie," Beckett answered her phone.

"Hey yourself," Lanie sounded a bit too happy about something, "what are you doing for lunch?"

"Oh, I don't know, I was…" Beckett glanced toward Castle's seat because honestly she'd thought lunch might be a good time for them to get a few minutes alone.

His seat was empty and her forehead wrinkled in confusion. When had he left? Had she really been so enthralled in paperwork?

She caught sight of the yellow post-it note stuck prominently to the seat of his chair. _Meeting with Paula, see you later. LYBIAS._

Why was Castle leaving her a note about Africa? Wait, that wasn't how that was spelled. Unless it was a sexual thing…but no, that wasn't how that was spelled either.

"Girl!"

She realized with a start she'd been ignoring Lanie.

"Sorry Lanie, I think this paperwork is getting the better of me".

"All the more reason to meet me for lunch!"

"Okay, fine, when do you want to go?"

"Right now! Kate, seriously, have you been listening to a word I said because—"

"I'm sorry Lanie," Beckett really did feel bad about ignoring her friend, "You probably also told me where we were going?"

Lanie sighed, "Yes. You know what, give me two minutes and I'll come find you".

"Okay," Beckett agreed, "and Lanie, I really am looking forward to lunch, I didn't mean to ignore you I've just got a lot on my mind".

Lanie laughed softly as she hung up, _"And soon you'll have a lot more"._

* * *

Kate folded the post-it and stuck it in her pocket for later. She was still trying to figure out what in the word lybias meant.

The sound of Lane's heels as she strode into the bullpen drew Kate's attention, and she stood up and grabbed her coat.

"Ready?" Lanie asked, not waiting for a response before she spun again and headed toward the elevator.

"Ready," Kate walked briskly to keep up with the ME.

"Um, Lanie? Why are we in such a hurry?"

"Because," Lanie said, and she gave Kate a threatening look, "we have a lot to talk about and a not very long lunch break to do it in".

"Okay," Kate raised an eyebrow at this but decided to let it drop.

It wasn't until theywere settled at a table at the nearby Chinese restaurant when Kate tried again.

"So Lanie, what's this all about?"

"Castle".

Kate felt her stomach drop. What about Castle? Had Lanie already found out about them? Or did she know something bad about the author that Beckett didn't…no that definitely couldn't be it.

She took a sip of water to steady herself and almost spit it out as Lanie continued.

"He wants to ask you out".

"Out where?" Kate sputtered.

"What am I going to do with you," Lanie looked at her friend exasperatedly, "out on a date".

"Huh," Kate didn't have a response to that. Because if Castle had wanted to ask her out on a date he probably would have done so that morning. When they woke up together. In bed.

"That's all you can say!" Lanie groaned, "Kate, you as much admitted to me that you have feelings for this guy. Remember how upset you were? And now I tell you he wants to ask you out and you're speechless?"

"Well, how do you know he wants to ask me out?" Kate was genuinely curious.

"Because he asked me if I thought you'd go out with him if he asked!" Lanie was more than a little annoyed.

"What did you say?"

"What did I say? Girl, I'm going to smack you. What do you mean, what did I say? I said I had to talk to you!"

"Oh. Right. Thanks".

"Kate," Lanie reached out and touched her on the arm, "honey, are you all right? Because your response to all of this is a little weird".

Kate was still trying to figure out what exactly Castle was playing at, though she had a pretty good idea this was part of the whole 'mess with the guys and Lanie' plan.

"Yeah, Lanie, I'm fine," Kate looked at Lanie with a slightly dazed look on her face.

Lanie was immediately concerned, "Is everything okay? Do you want to go out with him?"

Kate shook off her own confusion when she saw Lanie's concern, "Sorry Lanie, I haven't been sleeping great, but yeah, I think I would like to go on a date with Castle".

Relief flew across Lanie's face, "Thank God! Because honestly, the thought of having to go back to him and tell him you weren't interested, even though I'm do it for you, well…"

Lanie trailed off as she processed what Kate had just said, "You haven't been sleeping well? And you look kind of stressed. Is it the night terrors again?"

Lanie was the only person that Kate had confided in about the night terrors when they had started months before, so she saw no point in hiding anything now.

"Yeah," she nodded as she began to pull on her coat and threw some cash on the table.

"Kate," Lanie stood up and followed Beckett's lead pulling on her own coat, "You know I'd be happy to spend the night if you want".

"No thanks Lanie," Kate smiled at her friend and then added absentmindedly, "I'm sure Castle will be there".

Lanie stood and stared after Beckett as her friend exited the restaurant. How far was Kate planning on taking this first date?

It wasn't until she was waiting outside the restaurant for Lanie that Kate realized what she'd just said. She immediately schooled her features so that Lanie wouldn't see the grin that was threatening to break free.

If their plan was to confuse their friends completely Castle may have started the ball rolling, but she had just increased it's momentum.

* * *

_AN: Now we're finally getting to the good stuff! Sorry for not posting yesterday, life kind of got in the way. Any guesses as to what LYBIAS means? I haven't forgotten that I brought it up and I promise I'll address it in the next chapter._


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I'm running out of ways to say this.

Chapter Thirty

Beckett was still a little irritated at Castle for talking to Lanie without her permission. Okay, not that he really needed permission per se, but weren't they supposed to be a team with this? She was annoyed the same way she was often annoyed at Castle: irritated but not really mad.

"Castle," her tone came out a little harsher than she'd meant as she reentered the bullpen and approached the author who was bent over his phone probably playing Angry Birds, "break room".

He gulped as he stood up and followed her immediately.

Ryan and Esposito watched the whole exchange in silence and didn't exchange smirks until Beckett was out of range.

"You know how we said she must really like him after her display at the hospital?" Esposito asked.

"Yeah?" Ryan looked puzzled.

Esposito just laughed, "Boy she does not look happy with him now".

Beckett shoved the break room door shut with her hip and spun around so that she could quickly close the blinds.

"What," she hissed at him, trying to keep her voice low since the room wasn't exactly soundproof, "were you thinking?"

Castle looked at her like a puppy who didn't know what he'd done wrong.

"I'm," he gulped again, "sorry?"

She glared at him for a minute longer and he cringed in anticipation. He'd known that talking to Lanie wasn't a good idea! He really hoped he hadn't screwed this up.

Suddenly Beckett laughed.

"Her face was pretty funny," she struggled to say through her laughter.

"What?" Now it was Castle's turn to be confused.

"I may have accidentally insinuated that you'd be spending the night with me, right after I told her I'd probably accept your date if you asked".

"Ohh," a small grin formed on Castle's face, "Well, my dear detective if I had know that you'd put out on a first date—".

"Castle! You don't want to finish that sentence" Kate smacked him on the arm but the smile didn't leave her face.

She peeked out of the shades to confirm what she already knew: Ryan and Esposito were both staring at the break room probably hoping for a glimpse of their fight.

"What?" Castle asked, still a bit timidly.

"Poor Ryan and Esposito, they're so worried we're having a fight that they can't keep their eyes off this room," she said jokingly.

"Ah yes, worry is the only reason they're curious about our fight". He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Mmm," she agreed, more with his eyebrow than his actual words.

"Kate?"

She was startled to feel him behind her, she hadn't even noticed his approach. He placed his hands on her hips and leaned down to kiss the side of her neck.

"Mmm?" she worked hard to stop a moan from escaping as he pulled her hips firmly against him.

"Kiss me," he whispered into her ear, more a command than a question.

She turned around to face him and kissed him deeply, immediately allowing him full access to her mouth. She pulled her body away from his though, mainly because she could already feel him and she knew that wasn't a good idea in the precinct break room.

"I thought I said," she mumbled through the kiss, "not at work?"

"Right," he nodded, bent down and kissed her deeply one more time, and then took a step backward.

"Maybe I should yell".

He looked puzzled, "Yell?"

She gestured at her appearance, she looked slightly flustered and more than a bit flushed.

"Well, either I got this way thorough anger or thorough," she gestured between them, "and somehow I don't want the boys to know we kiss in the break room".

She blushed immediately, "That we kissed once in the break room".

"Even after they know we're together?" He teased.

"Especially then!" She looked appalled.

"Kate," he looked at her sternly, "I'm joking".

She let herself relax and nodded whispering, "I know".

"So, yell," he nodded his permission at her.

She immediately screamed at him, and he cringed because even though he knew it was all pretend he'd been on Beckett's bad side before and the memory wasn't exactly a pleasant one.

"Castle! What you did is not okay!" Her voice was louder than necessary so that her yelling would project through the closed door and reach their colleagues' ears.

Castle grinned widely at her, "I feel kind of bad for them, Lanie thinks we're going out on a date and that you might sleep with me immediately, while the boys think you're mad at me. Imagine what will happen when they talk to each other! I know we said we'd mess with them for fun, but did we really want to completely confuse them?"

"Eh," Beckett shrugged, "seems like a lot of fun to me".

Castle just shook his head, "Why Detective Beckett, I never realized you could be so devious".

"Oh Castle," her voice became seductive, "there are a lot of things you haven't realized about me yet".

And with that she sashayed away from him, leaving him alone in the break room with only his thoughts.

* * *

As soon as they heard Beckett scream Ryan and Esposito exchanged concerned glances.

"What," Ryan swallowed, "do you think Castle did?"

"Man, I don't know," Esposito looked confused, "but you know who might?"

Ryan grinned, "Lanie?"

Esposito nodded and pulled out his phone, "Lanie".

He immediately texted her and settled back to wait for her response, if anyone knew why mom and dad were fighting it would be Lanie.

* * *

It was over two hours later and they were all still doing paperwork. Castle was (relatively) patiently sitting in his normal chair and ever since reappearing from the break room he'd appeared to be enthralled in yet another game of Angry Birds.

All of this was why Beckett was surprised when she checked her email and saw one from Castle.

She rolled her eyes at him as soon as she saw it appear in her inbox and he simply shrugged at her and returned his attention to his game.

_Beckett (I'd call you something else at work but that would be widely inappropriate and I know you wouldn't like it),_

She had to suppress a laugh as soon as she saw that line because his long parenthetical annotation was pretty much the same thing as him calling her a nickname or writing Kate: anyone reading the email would immediately know something was going on.

_I got a text from Lanie saying I should go ahead and ask you out. So…should I do it? In front of everyone? Really obviously? Because don't you think that would be fun? Admit it, Beckett, you think it would be fun. Seriously, Kate, you know it would be fun. Kate…Kate…pay attention to me!_

_Let me know what you think._

_Castle_

How had he managed to make that email sound exactly like he was whining in her ear? She could almost hear his voice in her head forcing her to pay attention to his ramblings.

She wanted to roll her eyes at him again but he seemed completely enthralled by his game. She glanced over to Ryan and Esposito but they both seemed focused on their paperwork. She thought for a minute and then typed a reply.

He already had his email open and read it as soon as it came through.

_Castle,_

_Certain people who might want things later on from other people may want to watch their tone._

He grinned at her, but her head was bent over her paperwork again.

_How do you know I'd say "yes" if you asked? Very presumptuous of you._

_Okay, I'll admit that I might want to say yes…_

He smiled softly at her this time, pleased that she'd admitted that to him, even if it was only in an email.

…_but wouldn't it be more fun if I said no? You want to have "fun", don't you Rick?_

_-KB_

He was impressed with the amount of sexual innuendo she managed to squeeze into a single sentence. That woman was going to be the death of him.

He responded instantly:

_I guess you've gotta do what you've gotta do. As long as we do it later I'm fine. _

_-Castle_

She actually laughed. It was soft but Ryan and Esposito both looked up in surprise. But when they turned around to look at their boss she appeared to be focused on the papers in front of her. They exchanged quick glances, both wondering if they'd imagined it.

Esposito's phone buzzed and he eagerly opened Lanie's text:

_Writer boy asked me if he asked Beckett on a date if she'd say yes. Very high school of him, I know._

Esposito stared at the screen for a moment before thrusting the phone into Ryan's personal space.

"Hey," Ryan muttered in annoyance.

He read the text and then typed a response, turning the phone toward Esposito before he sent it.

_Did you talk to Beckett? What'd she say?_

They both stared at the phone, willing Lanie's response to come a little faster.

The phone buzzed and Ryan fumbled with it before opening the text:

_yes & yes._

They grinned at each other happily. Except…Ryan looked concerned and he gestured toward Beckett, whispering, "What about the fight?"

"Yeah," Esposito looked concerned, "that doesn't look good".

"Think he'll still ask?"

Esposito raised his eyebrows at his partner, "Yeah".

"Think she'll still say yes?"

They exchanged quick glances and both shook their heads. With Beckett sometimes it was impossible to know what she'd do.

* * *

"Kate," Castle said, not particularly loudly but loud enough for Ryan and Esposito to look up in surprise.

They could count on one hand the number of times that they'd heard Castle call Beckett by her first name.

Castle cleared his throat tentatively, and continued softly, the boys leaned closer to try and hear, "I was wondering if you'd go out on a date with me?"

"Castle," Beckett let out a sigh and the boys exchanged worried glances, "I can't".

"Is that a no?" Castle said sadly.

"Yes". Beckett said it firmly and the guys cringed. When Beckett said something with such finality it normally meant never. Apparently Castle knew that as well as they did, because he immediately stood and grabbed his coat.

"Oh okay," Castle said softly. He turned abruptly and walked toward the elevator dejectedly, which actually wasn't that hard because he was feeling kind of rejected even though he knew it was ridiculous because Beckett was actually coming home with him.

Beckett watched Castle walk away from her and she felt her stomach drop. She knew she'd be seeing him soon, but somehow it was all too reminiscent of that summer where he'd left her for the Hamptons and Gina. She shuddered at the memory before using her long-practiced compartmentalization strategies.

"Come on guys," she said in a steady voice to Ryan and Esposito who were standing dumbstruck behind her, "Let's finish signing these papers and then we can all go home".

They both nodded at her slowly still shocked by what had just occurred.

"Man," Ryan whispered to Esposito as they took their seats, "Do you think that's it?"

"You mean, do I think Castle's gone for good?"

"Yeah," Ryan looked concerned as he stared at the elevator that Castle had just taken.

Esposito just shook his head, "I don't know".

Ryan and Esposito were both more than a little upset, though neither of them would have admitted it. They both wanted Castle and Beckett together. Even if those two couldn't see it they were perfect for each other.

* * *

As soon as the elevator doors slid shut Castle texted Beckett. He knew that everything that had just happened was acting, but he suddenly needed some reassurance:

_I miss you already._

She saw she had a text from him and felt her whole body relax. This pretend thing was more stressful than she'd thought it would be.

She smiled when she saw the text and didn't even think before she replied:

_I miss you too._

He stared at the four simple words she'd sent him and felt completely at peace. They were fine.

* * *

_AN: Don't worry; I haven't forgotten that there are things from the last chapter I still need to clarify…Chapter 31 will address them. Thanks again for all of your reviews!_


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: Last night's Christmas episode was wonderful (even if it didn't give me rights to the show).

_Previously on 'Down the Road':_

_Castle grinned widely at Beckett, "I feel kind of bad for them, Lanie thinks we're going out on a date and that you might sleep with me immediately, while the boys think you're mad at me. Imagine what will happen when they talk to each other! I know we said we'd mess with them for fun, but did we really want to completely confuse them?"_

_Back in the bullpen Castle cleared his throat tentatively, and the boys leaned closer to try and hear, "I was wondering if you'd go out on a date with me?"_

_"Castle," Beckett let out a sigh and the boys exchanged worried glances, "I can't"._

_"Is that a no?" Castle said sadly._

_"Yes". Beckett said it firmly and the guys cringed. When Beckett said something with such finality it normally meant never. Apparently Castle knew that as well as they did, because he immediately stood and grabbed his coat._

_"Oh okay," Castle said softly. He turned abruptly and walked toward the elevator dejectedly, which actually wasn't that hard because he was feeling kind of rejected even though he knew it was ridiculous because Beckett was actually coming home with him._

_Beckett watched Castle walk away from her and she felt her stomach drop. She knew she'd be seeing him soon, but somehow it was all too reminiscent of that summer where he'd left her for the Hamptons and Gina. She shuddered at the memory before using her long-practiced compartmentalization strategies._

_"Come on guys," she said in a steady voice to Ryan and Esposito who were standing dumbstruck behind her, "Let's finish signing these papers and then we can all go home"._

Chapter Thirty-One

Castle glanced at the clock in his living room for the tenth time in two minutes. Why wasn't it moving faster? Why wasn't it later in the day? How was it possible that it was only three o'clock?

He jittered his leg nervously and tried to focus on the laptop that was resting on his thighs. He glared angrily at the blinking cursor which was only highlighting the fact that he'd written exactly one sentence. A sentence that wasn't even really usable, unless _Nikki was annoyed _was suddenly a concept that was central to his plot (and not just his personal feelings at the moment).

Castle snapped the laptop shut in a sudden move that even caused him to startle. He pushed it onto the couch next to him and headed toward the kitchen.

He knew that Beckett probably wouldn't eat lunch. Normally she didn't bother eating because a case needed all of her attention and she wanted to wrap things up as quickly as possible, both to help her team and to help the victim's family. Even though there wasn't a case today he had a feeling that she'd still be trying to finish things quickly. He felt a surge of pride as he decided that her focus would be on him this time.

Okay, it was probably incredibly presumptuous of him; more presumptuous than the email that had caused Kate to use that word to define him earlier. But he liked the idea that Beckett wanted to come see him and would be willing to work through paperwork (and lunch) as quickly as possible in order to do so. He liked that idea a lot. And so he decided to make a really fancy dinner in case she hadn't eaten lunch.

Richard Castle had always been able to cook, but Alexander Rodgers? Not so much. When Rick had been a teen his mother had decided that it was ridiculous to keep paying for nannies. Why pay someone to look after a child who was practically an adult anyway? He knew he was probably being a little harsh toward his mother whenever he thought that, because honestly money was often tight and he had been fifteen years old. Plenty of kids at his school were babysitting at fifteen so he really should have been able to look after himself. Except, of course, he hadn't been that great at it.

His biggest problem had been food. He'd realized quickly that eating peanut butter and jelly seven days a week was not appealing. So he'd gone to the library and checked out cookbooks and taught himself how to cook.

Which was why he was now able to make roast chicken and mashed potatoes and asparagus for Beckett; very deliciously if he said so himself.

* * *

Kate Beckett was not in a very good mood. She'd snapped at Ryan and Esposito enough times that they were now avoiding her like the plague.

Normally when it was slow like this the guys would suggest that they all take a break from paperwork and play cards. That was definitely not happening today. Instead they were staring intently at the sheets of paper on their desks, occasionally sneaking little glances at each other.

Ryan and Esposito were both concerned. Although Beckett had seemed fine right after turning down Castle's date, the fact that she hadn't even mentioned the writer since then and was now in a horrible mood wasn't exactly reassuring.

When lunchtime rolled around the guys leapt at the chance to get away from the tension. They made eye contact, jointly glanced toward the clock, and then both stood abruptly.

"We're getting lunch," Esposito said, not even bothering to phrase it as a question.

"Do you want anything?" Ryan asked, wanting to be polite but also more than a little concerned that Beckett was going to bite his head off.

"No," Kate said, not even bothering to look up from her paperwork.

As the guys headed toward the elevator Ryan risked a glance back over his shoulder, turning to Esposito he sadly shook his head, "I guess she only says no now".

Esposito just nodded in response. It would have been funny if it didn't suddenly seem to be true.

As soon as they exited the elevator Esposito turned towards the right.

"Where are you going?" Ryan seemed confused, "I thought we were gonna go to Remy's?"

"No," Esposito looked at Ryan like he was an idiot, "we're going to talk to Lanie".

"Oh. Lanie. Right. Good idea," Ryan nodded enthusiastically at his partner.

* * *

Beckett didn't feel any better once the boys had left the bullpen. She knew she was being a bitch to them. She'd been gruff with them all morning, but somehow she couldn't break herself out of this bad mood. It was ridiculous, but ever since Castle had left she'd been annoyed. She knew it was ridiculous and completely unfair because she was the one who had told him to leave.

She just really wanted this day to be over. She wanted to go home. Not, she realized with a gulp, her home, but Castle's loft. She wanted to go to the loft and have dinner and talk to Castle and go to bed. She didn't know when she'd decided that being domestic with Castle was what she wanted, but based on her current bad mood she really, really wanted it.

She glanced at the clock and mentally groaned. Only another three hours to go. Provided they didn't catch a murder of course. She really, really hoped they didn't catch a murder.

* * *

Lanie shut off the water and dried her hands just as the boys entered the morgue.

"No body, Lanie?" Ryan asked tentatively.

"No Ryan," Lanie rolled her eyes at the detective, "you're safe. I just finished up an autopsy and the body's already in cold storage".

Ryan look relieved.

"Now," Lanie grinned at both the guys, "to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"It's not good news," Esposito said, somehow managing to sound equal parts gruff and earnest.

"It's really not," Ryan looked a little devastated.

"What is it?" Lanie raised her eyebrows.

The guys just both stared at her, apparently having decided that they'd let her get at least part way there all by herself.

"Crap," Lanie said as she took in their faces, "Let me guess: more Beckett and Castle drama?"

They both nodded and Ryan actually looked like he might burst into tears, "She said no".

Lanie stared at them. For the first time in her life she might have run out of things to say.

* * *

Castle was at the door to his loft before the bell had finished ringing. He looked proudly down at his sock clad feet; he'd known that shiny hardwood floors would come in handy someday!

He swung open the door and grinned at the woman in front of him.

"Kate".

He sighed her name and reached out to her, pulling her into the loft as he pushed the door closed behind her.

"Hi Castle," she smiled up at him softly, her irritation from the day slowly draining away.

"I made you dinner," he said abruptly.

"Yeah?" a slow smile filled Kate's face and Castle was suddenly overcome by it all.

Overcome by the fact that Kate was here, and they were about to eat dinner, and they were together, and she just looked happy. He wanted her to always be happy like this. He honestly hadn't realized that it could be this easy.

"Of course," he stated, because what else was there to say?

Castle was still a little tentative when it came to showing Beckett signs of affection. If possible he would touch her all the time, but he knew that would be overwhelming for someone like Kate. Still, right now he couldn't help himself, so he pulled her into his arms, wrapping himself around her and breathing in the scent of her hair.

"Your hair smells nice," he mumbled into her scalp.

She laughed against him, tightening her arms around his waist.

He began to rub her back and she felt herself relaxing into the hug as most of the day's tension drained away. How had he known that she needed this? Somehow more often than not he knew what she needed.

As if he could read her mind he let go of her right before the hug would have become too overwhelming.

"Let's eat," he stated, turning and heading toward the kitchen.

* * *

"So what do you think?" Ryan asked, nursing his beer.

Somehow after the initial shock had worn off the three of them had migrated to a bar.

Not the Old Haunt, because all of them had admitted that the chance of seeing Castle right now wasn't something they were ready to deal with. The thought had made Ryan even more stressed out because, really, what was happening? Were they already being forced to pick sides?

Two years ago, when Beckett had broken up with Demming (for Castle), and Castle had then gone off to the Hamptons with Gina, they had been able to pick sides easily. They'd picked hers.

Beckett wasn't only their colleague, she was their friend, and Castle had hurt her. All three of them had been surprised when Beckett took him back so easily, though the boys' surprise may have been a little greater than Lanie's.

But now Beckett had hurt Castle. And they were all a lot closer to Castle then they had been two years ago. He was part of the team now too. Except Beckett was actually a cop, she was really their colleague, and god this was complicated.

They'd been trying to figure out what to do for the last half hour, but they'd been unproductive. There was no easy answer.

"This is ridiculous," Lanie finally said as she took a sip of her drink.

"Well, yeah," Esposito looked at her like she was crazy.

"No," Lanie glared at him, "What I mean is that, what, they had a fight?"

The guys nodded and Lanie continued, "But so what? They've fought before. And Beckett told me she'd say yes if he asked her. So he clearly just asked at the wrong time. I bet if he asks again she'll say yes".

Ryan slowly shook his head, "Lanie, you didn't see his face. She really hurt him. I don't think he'll ask her again".

"Yeah," Esposito nodded in agreement, "I'm not even sure he'll come into the precinct again".

Lanie glared at the boys, "We are going to fix this".

* * *

Beckett sighed and leaned her head against the back of the couch. Their dinner plates were abandoned on the coffee table in front of them and Castle had just put on a DVD. She'd caved (way more easily then she wanted to admit) and they were watching Indiana Jones. The first one because, as Castle pointed out, at least the female lead did something in that one.

Castle couldn't help but watch Beckett as she relaxed. He was thrilled that she was still here. Even though he'd known she was probably going to spend the night, a small part of him had still been afraid that she would bolt right after dinner. He really wanted to pull her onto his lap, but he had a sneaking suspicion that would go under too much/too soon. Plus, he wasn't entirely sure that Beckett would ever be comfortable with that much touchy-feely stuff, even in private.

She could feel his eyes on her and turned to glance at him. She shook her head when she caught him staring and rolled her eyes, "Seriously, Castle?"

He looked apologetic and glanced back at the screen before sneaking another look at her. He wanted to see if she was really mad.

Instead Kate was still looking at him. If anything she was amused. _"Well, that's good,"_ Castle decided.

"Come here, Castle," Kate grinned at him.

"Really?" He was being way too enthusiastic about this, it was really embarrassing, but he couldn't stop.

"Yes," Kate quirked an eyebrow at him, "Unless you want me to change my mind".

"No!"

He was abrupt and the smile slid off Beckett's face. He realized that it may have sounded too reminiscent of earlier that day, and he realized for the first time that maybe their fake exchange had bothered Kate as much as it had bothered him.

He couldn't think of what to say to fix it, so he quickly scooted towards her. Maybe for once his actions could speak louder than words. Didn't people use that as a saying? It must work sometimes.

He didn't pull her into his lap, but he did wrap an arm around her and yank her against his side, planting a sloppy kiss on her forehead.

"Gee Castle," Beckett laughed, "be a little less enthusiastic".

"No," he said, and this time he finished the word with a kiss.

_"Good,"_ thought Kate, _"I'm glad he's making that word better…because I can't imagine going the rest of our lives with the word 'no' having negative connotations"._

She burrowed her head in his shoulder before freezing suddenly.

Castle felt her stiffen in his arms and tried not to tense in response. Was she still upset?

_"Shit. The rest of our lives. Great. This relationship isn't going too fast at all"._ Kate berated herself.

Castle tentatively ran his fingers through her hair.

Beckett felt Castle's hand in her hair and decided that she couldn't let herself stress out about everything right now. She'd had a crappy day, but she'd wanted to be with Castle the whole time. And now she was here so she might as well enjoy it.

He let out a little sigh of relief as he felt Kate relax against him.

Things really were going to be okay. As long as they figured out what in the world their next move was going to be. Because messing with Lanie and the boys had suddenly gotten really…messy.

* * *

_I want to apologize for taking so long to release this chapter. As I'm sure all of you are aware, sometimes life gets crazy. I'm currently (desperately) job searching, so if any of you know of jobs in television production in NYC or LA send them my way!  
_

_I'm already working on drafts for the next couple of chapters (and the conclusion of this story) so I should be back to updating a chapter a day in a week or so._

_Thanks for your patience!_


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: Sigh.

_Previously on 'Down the Road':_

_Beckett felt Castle's hand and decided that she couldn't let herself stress out about everything right now. She'd had a crappy day, but she'd wanted to be with Castle the whole time. And now she was here so she might as well enjoy it._

_Things really were going to be okay. As long as they figured out what in the world their next move was going to be. Because messing with Lanie and the boys had suddenly gotten really…messy._

Chapter Thirty-Two

"Castle?"

Kate rolled onto her side and leaned over her partner's sleeping form.

He didn't respond, just kept breathing slowly in and out in the darkened room. It was early. Probably way too early to be awake, if the shadows covering the bedroom were any indication.

Still, she was awake and she kept forgetting to ask him.

"Castle!" Beckett wasn't really a patient person and so she shook him vehemently trying to get him to wake up.

"Whattt?" he groaned, flinging an arm over his face as he simultaneously rolled towards her.

She had to laugh at that, because a normal guy trying not to be woken up would probably roll away from the other person. But Castle rolled towards her. Typical.

"Castle! I need you!" She knew she was being ridiculous but she wanted to ask him.

"Are you okay?" He sat up abruptly and looked at her with concern flooding his face, "Did you have another dream? I'm sorry I didn't wake up sooner, you seemed completely fine and—"

"Castle," Beckett soothed him, looking at him apologetically, "I'm totally fine. I'm really sorry if I scared you, I just wanted to ask you something".

"Oh," he looked puzzled, "oh, okay, well what did you want to ask?"

She blushed, "It's not really that important. You can just go back to sleep".

"Beckett," he rolled his eyes at her, "I'm awake now. And I don't care if it's important or not, you woke me up to tell me something and you know I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep without knowing what it is and are you trying to torture me?"

Beckett stared at him for a moment after the deluge of information had finished flowing.

Then she grinned, "I promise, not trying to torture you. Not right now anyway".

"So," he looked at her eagerly, "what is it?"

"I was just wondering what this means?" She opened her hand to reveal the note that Castle had left for her. The one that said LYBIAS on it.

"You kept it?" he sounded surprised but also pleased.

"Yeah well," she tried to brush off the sappiness of the moment, "I just didn't know what it meant".

"It means," he grinned at her and leaned in to kiss her softly before he continued, whispering it into her ear, pausing between each word "Love. You. But. It's. A. Secret".

"Oh," she whispered in reply, tilting her head so that she could look him directly in the eyes.

"Yeah," he grinned, "Oh".

They looked at each other for a moment before both flicking their eyes to each other's lips.

"Wait," Castle teased, "I thought you were a detective. You couldn't figure that out?"

"Hey!" Beckett pulled away and smacked him.

"And now you're physically injuring me! Beckett, use your words!"

"Trust you," she rolled her eyes at him again, "to ruin the moment".

"Hey! I didn't ruin the moment".

Kate raised an eyebrow at him.

"I didn't!"

She looked at him silently.

"Okay, I didn't much".

He scooted a little closer toward her, "And you're an awesome cop. The best detective. So, very very good".

He let his voice get sultry and he kissed her neck and slid his hands around her waist.

"Well, now you're just saying that to get some," Beckett looked at him sternly but leaned into his embrace, scooting backward as he pulled her towards him.

"Pretty much," he admitted as he kissed her deeply.

He let his forehead touch hers, "But that doesn't mean it isn't true".

And then he kissed her again. Because if this was what a really early morning with Katherine Beckett was like he didn't mind getting woken up at all.

* * *

Her alarm went off, interrupting both of them in the middle of round two.

"Crap," he groaned as he slid out of her, allowing her to escape from under his body and reach her phone.

She laughed at his disappointed expression, schooling her own features so that he wouldn't know how much she agreed with him.

"How are we playing this?" She asked, sitting up suddenly.

He looked confused.

"I mean," she clarified, "we got a little…distracted…last night, and we never talked about how we were going to resolve things with Lanie and the guys".

"Oh, right," Castle grinned, "I don't know, what do you think?"

"You're the writer!" She threw her hands up in an expression of exasperation.

Castle's eyes were immediately drawn to her breasts.

"Gee Castle, try to pay attention to what's important right now".

"I am totally focused on the most important things in the room," he said with a leer.

She threw a pillow at his head to refocus him.

"Sorry, sorry," he muttered as he looked at her face again.

"So, Writer-boy, what's the plan?"

He scowled at her use of the nickname before his features became thoughtful, "I honestly don't know what the best move is".

"Really? The man who can come up with the most ridiculous theories I've ever heard doesn't know how to manipulate his best friends?" She was incredulous but her voice was also tinged with laughter.

"Hey now!" he looked slightly concerned, "I may be losing my edge".

"Probably," she nodded at him sagely, "you are getting pretty old".

"Beckett!" he punched her lightly on her arm, "Anyway, no, what I meant was the whole situation is tricky right now. We don't want to give too much away, because we don't want them to know we're really a couple…right? Cause of the rules?"

"Well…" she wasn't so positive about that anymore. Certainly it was against department policy, and she really didn't want Castle to get kicked out, but she had a feeling the rest of their circle was as attached to him as she was. Well, maybe not quite as attached (she mentally grinned) but almost as attached.

He was looking at her quizzically so she thought it might be a good idea to continue her thought.

"I don't want to have to stop working with you, so the majority of the precinct can't find out about us. Gates can't find out about us. But if Lanie and the boys realize we're a couple I don't think they're going to go running to Gates. They may want to run their mouths off at the precinct and collect on their bet money at first, but I think once we point out what they may lose if they talk they'll keep quiet".

"Might lose?" Castle grinned, "You mean like their health and safety?"

She laughed at him, "No Castle, I meant you".

"Really?" A slow smile spread across his face, "You really think they'd care if I got kicked out".

"You really are an idiot sometimes," she said affectionately as she crawled into his lap.

He was surprised by how easily she'd settled against him. After the last couple of days he'd been really worried she'd start pulling away. Admitting they were dating, revealing their relationship to his daughter, plus the healthy dose of the PTSD should have sent Beckett running in the other direction. Instead here she was cuddlier than ever.

He didn't get it but he'd accept it. He'd always known that he'd never completely solve the mystery that was Kate Beckett.

Castle wrapped his arms around her and dropped a kiss into her hair. She melted into him, rejoicing in how safe and content she felt. She wished she could stay in his arms all day. That was certainly one solution to dealing with everything!

He chuckled, almost as though he knew what she was thinking, and released his hold on her, giving her a little push to propel her out of his lap.

"Beckett, I never thought I'd say this, but we have to stop cuddling now so that we can go to work".

She laughed at him, a fully relaxed laugh. Maybe the first one that he'd heard since before the night terror.

He strained to hear her through her laughter, "How is it that now that we're together you're the responsible one?"

He gave her a fake glare, decided that didn't even warrant a response, and headed toward her shower.

* * *

A half hour later Beckett locked her apartment door.

"I'll see you later?" she asked, somehow shy in the fluorescent light of her hallway.

Castle leaned forward and kissed her deeply, shoving her against her closed door, unable to stop from grinding up against her.

"Damn," she muttered as she slipped away from him.

"What?"

"Remind me why I work again?"

"Beats me," he chuckled.

"But seriously, later?" She looked concerned again, and he knew she was remembering the day before.

Leaving her alone in that precinct after that fight, fake or not, had been hard for both of them. He loved that a little bit of insecurity was shining through. Beckett always seemed so reserved and sure of herself, but now she was letting him see how she really felt. Not that he wanted her to be insecure, but the knowledge that she was, and that she was letting him see that she was, well, it was pretty great.

"You know there's nothing that will keep me away," Castle said, before realizing that was a total lie, "Um, well, except meetings with my publishers. Which are taking all morning. But you already know about those so, yeah, you'll see me this afternoon".

"Good," even though she'd known that was the plan she couldn't stop the sigh of relief.

* * *

Ryan and Esposito were still worried.

They'd talked with Lanie about the Castle/Beckett debacle (that was what they were calling it now) over several beers, but ultimately nothing had been resolved.

Lanie was still positive that it had just been a 'situational no'…that if Castle asked Beckett out again she would say yes.

Ryan and Esposito still weren't sure, mainly because they'd been the ones to witness the fight. They'd seen the devastation on Castle's face as he left the precinct, and they'd dealt with Beckett's bad mood after he'd left.

The guys walked into the precinct side by side, and both held their breath as the elevator doors pinged open announcing their arrival.

They'd been out questioning a witness for a case that they'd been helping Karpowski with, so they had no idea if Castle had even come into the precinct.

Beckett was sitting at her desk, head bent over her paperwork.

Ryan immediately glanced around the room, before turning to Esposito with a disappointed whisper, "No coffee!"

"Shit," Esposito replied, looking glum.

"Morning Beckett," both of them stated, as they walked past her and sat at their desks.

"Morning," she said, looking up at them briefly before returning her focus to her paperwork.

Ryan wheeled his chair close to Esposito's desk and whispered, "Does she seem happy or upset?"

Esposito just shrugged, keeping his eyes trained on the back of his boss' head.

"So," he began hesitantly, "no Castle?"

"No". Beckett replied, her concentration on her paperwork making her gruffer than she'd intended.

"Shit," whispered Ryan.

Esposito reached for his phone to text Lanie: _Beckett says no Castle today. What do we do now?_

* * *

Lanie eased her car to a stop in the parking lot before grabbing her phone. She frowned as she read the message.

"_How is it possible they always mess everything up?"_

She didn't know what she was going to do with Beckett and Castle.

* * *

Castle was bored to death. Legitimately, he was pretty sure in another minute he was going to fall out of his chair in the middle of this meeting and die on the floor.

Or maybe he'd collapse in the middle of the conference table, convulsing in front of his publishers before dying.

That seemed more poetic somehow.

Except he couldn't die, because it really wouldn't be fair to Beckett. She'd have to come and see if his death was a homicide (which it would be, since this boredom was totally someone's fault) and making extra work for Beckett? Not in the cards right now.

He supposed he wouldn't die of boredom after all.

* * *

She was getting impatient.

She knew she was snapping at people again, and she really wished she was better at dealing with stress.

The days of less than perfect sleep still had her slightly on edge, and that coupled with Castle's absence was driving her to distraction.

She knew the guys probably thought she was upset because of her fight with Castle, but she still couldn't rein her temper in.

They'd managed to catch a case almost as soon as Ryan and Esposito had said good morning, and they'd spent the last several hours putting together the murder board.

It didn't help that this case was a bad one. Bad enough that she really, really wanted Castle here.

Not that any case was good, but this one had two dead children and that always made it worse.

She was staring at their school photos now, willing herself to see similarities between the two children.

One was Asian, one was Black. One was twelve, one was seven. One was a girl, one was a boy.

Apart from the fact that they were both killed in her precinct within hours of each other she wasn't sure that there were any similarities at all. She wasn't even sure that they'd died at the hands of the same killer.

She felt him behind her before he said anything. The restraint it took not to turn around and hug him was monumental. She really, really needed a hug.

Almost as though he sensed her need, he told her that he needed a coffee and headed toward the break room.

After less than a minute she followed him.

He was waiting for her, as she knew he would be, and she walked slowly toward him, checking to make sure the break room door was closed before easing into his hug.

She sighed in relief.

"How was your meeting?"

He shrugged, "I wanted to be here".

"I wanted you here too," she admitted.

"Tough case?"

"Mmm," she nodded into his chest.

"I'm here now," he stated.

"Good".

* * *

Ryan had been so shocked when he saw Castle walk into the bullpen that he almost dropped his soda.

He was even more surprised when he saw Castle and Beckett have a quiet exchange.

Where was all the yelling that had happened yesterday? Beckett had been in a foul mood all day, why wasn't she showing Castle her anger?

He was even more surprised when he watched Beckett follow Castle into the break room.

Hesitantly, knowing that he'd face her wrath if she caught him watching her, Ryan inched toward the break room.

He eased open the door and almost fell into the room at the sight in front of him.

Beckett and Castle were hugging.

What the hell was going on?

* * *

Lanie's phone buzzed again. She hoped this text would be less depressing than the last one.

_They're hugging! ! ! !_

Lanie stared at Ryan's text, knowing that he could only be referring to two people.

What was going on?

She had to laugh at his use of exclamation points…only Ryan would text like a thirteen year old girl.

* * *

The second Esposito entered the bullpen Ryan grabbed his arm and dragged him into the break room.

It was empty.

Ryan shoved Esposito into an empty seat and ignored the glare that was being sent his way.

"They hugged!"

Ryan couldn't keep the amazement out of his voice.

"What?"

"Beckett and Castle! Castle was here this afternoon and when he came in they both headed here…to the break room. And I saw them hug!"

"Ew, dude, were you spying on him?"

"Hey! Shut up! You totally know you would have done the same thing," Ryan gave Esposito a stern look.

"Yeah, yeah, maybe I would have," Esposito looked confused, "What kind of a hug was it?"

"What?"

"Come on, you know what I mean. Was it a make-up hug? A friendship hug? A romantic hug?"

Ryan looked puzzled, "Um, I don't know?"

"You don't know? What kind of a detective are you?" Esposito looked appalled, "Where are they now?"

"They went to talk to the neighbors of that little girl, Amanda Briggs".

"So now they're questioning witnesses together like everything's okay?"

What was going on?

* * *

_AN: I apologize for the massive delay in posting this. Unfortunately I managed to get pneumonia, and (who knew?) that slows the writing process!_

_I hope I haven't lost too many readers. Reviews are always appreciated.  
_


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: Technically it's still Christmas? But sadly 'Castle' still belongs to Marlowe and Co.

_Previously on 'Down the Road':_

_This case was a bad one. Bad enough that she really, really wanted Castle here. Not that any case was good, but this one had two dead children and that always made it worse._

_She felt him behind her before he said anything. The restraint it took not to turn around and hug him was monumental. She really, really needed a hug. Almost as though he sensed her need, he told her that he needed a coffee and headed toward the break room._

_After less than a minute she followed him. He was waiting for her, as she knew he would be, and she walked slowly toward him, checking to make sure the break room door was closed before easing into his hug. _

_"They hugged!" Ryan told Esposito._

_"What?"_

_"Beckett and Castle! Castle was here this afternoon and when he came in they both headed here…to the break room. And I saw them hug!"_

_Esposito looked confused, "What kind of a hug was it?"_

_Ryan looked puzzled, "Um, I don't know?"_

_"You don't know? What kind of a detective are you?" Esposito looked appalled, "Where are they now?"_

_"They went to talk to the neighbors of that little girl, Amanda Briggs"._

Chapter Thirty-Three

All Kate Beckett wanted to do was go home, take a quick shower to wash away the grime that had been her day, and climb into bed.

The fact that in this scenario home was the loft and the bed had Castle in it wasn't lost to her.

Was she seriously so weakened by their relationship that she couldn't even take care of herself after a tough case?

Interviewing the parents' of the murdered children had been horrendous, but it was part of her job.

Castle sat next to Beckett in the Crown Vic and watched her carefully. Something was definitely going on. He'd suspected from the get go that this case was affecting Beckett more than she wanted to admit. She'd basically broken her own rules when she let him hug her in the break room. Plus, she'd sunk into that hug, clung to him, and he had a sneaking suspicion she'd been close to tears.

He considered that forward momentum.

Right now he was afraid she was preparing to move in the opposite direction.

He could almost see her walls rebuilding in front of him. Her hands had tensed on the steering wheel, her knuckles turning white, and her face was slightly blank. He easily recognized it as the mask of what he not so fondly referred to as 'Old Kate'.

He didn't want to let it get too far. Who knew how much of herself she would lock away again?

"Kate?" He said softly and he reached out and touched her arm.

He knew he was reading her correctly when he felt her tense further at his touch. The eyes that met his were surprisingly cold.

"Hey baby," he said softly and he refused to remove his hand. Instead he increased the pressure slightly where he'd first touched her, slightly below her shoulder.

She met his eyes again and he saw a flash of uncertainty there.

Good. That was good. At least, he was pretty sure in this case uncertainty was good, because he suspected it was uncertainty about her walls coming back up rather than uncertainty about him.

At least he hoped that was the case.

He risked a move and leaned sideways in his seat, dropping a soft kiss on her shoulder, still refusing to move the offending hand.

"I—" She started, before stopping just as suddenly.

"You what, baby?" He kissed her shoulder again.

She swallowed hard, and risked a glance at him again before redirecting her attention to the road.

If she was going to tell him this she couldn't look at him.

"I want to go home with you and take a shower and go to bed," She released the information rapidly.

Castle looked puzzled, "Okay? That sounds good to me".

"It's not!" The frustration was clear in her voice, "It's not okay, because this is my job. God Castle, I have to deal with this kind of crap all the time!"

"And?" He asked hesitantly.

"And I can't always expect you to be there to pick up the pieces! This is my job-mine! And I used to be so goddamn good at it," she ended the sentence on a sob that she quickly curtailed. She wasn't fast enough though and a single tear trickled down her cheek.

Castle reached up and brushed it aside, lingering slightly on her cheek before returning his hand to her arm.

"Beckett! Kate, seriously, listen to me," he stroked her arm gently before he continued, using the motion to gather his thoughts, "You are a great cop. One of the things that makes you so good is your empathy, we both know that. You can relate to the victims because you've been there. And as horrible as it is that that's a reason you're so good, you know it's true. I didn't give you that empathy, you already had it when we met".

She nodded at that. Slightly surprised because trust Castle to find the one good thing that the loss of her mother had achieved.

She'd always thought that it had broken her, maybe irreparably, and now this ridiculous, wonderful man was making her see that it hadn't all been in vain.

"Plus, Kate? You're not asking that much. Going home? Showering? Sleeping? Not sure what you were doing before you met me, but those are pretty much daily activities for 95% of the humans in New York".

She had to roll her eyes at that.

"Anyway," he continued after dropping a final kiss on her shoulder and moving his hand to her thigh, "I want to do all those things with you too. Always".

He squeezed her thigh gently.

"So, I don't think we have a problem, do we?"

She risked a glance at him again. He was staring at her (what else was new?), his head slightly tilted to one side and assurance in his gaze.

"I guess not," she replied softly.

"Good. Let's go home, shower, and go to bed".

She smiled at him and admitted, "Always?"

He nodded at her, "Always".

* * *

The morning light settled over them, small streams of it squeezing through the blinds and casting patterns on the dark blue comforter that cocooned them both.

Castle rolled over onto his side and twirled a strand of Beckett's hair around his finger.

She blinked her eyes open and glanced toward him.

He continued what he had been doing: twirl hair and release, twirl hair and release.

She wasn't even sure he knew she was awake, but then he spoke.

"So, when are you moving in?"

"What?" She sat up abruptly and her hair slid out of his hand.

He frowned at his hand briefly, as though irritated that it had lost a prize possession, before looking at her.

"Moving. In." He said slowly, as though speaking to a young child.

"Castle! What the hell are you talking about?"

"Beckettt," he whined, and she wasn't the least bit surprised that he was whining the same way he did when she yelled at him for doodling with her pen and causing it to run out of ink.

"Are you sure you're not remembering an imaginary conversation?" She raised one eyebrow at him and he could tell she wasn't really mad. Probably wasn't even opposed to the idea.

Good.

"Remember last night?"

Her brow furrowed a little and he thought she was adorable. He kind of wanted to put her out of her misery, but only kind of.

"I'm pretty sure we didn't do anything that special last night. Did we?"

"Beckett," he raised an eyebrow roguishly, "Your mind is always in the gutter. But no, I was referring to our conversation in the car?"

"Oh," she suddenly remembered everything that had happened in the car and felt a little ashamed. She'd really been freaking out which was idiotic because now that it was a new day and she was waking up next to Castle like she'd really wanted all along, she was happy.

"I seem to recall that you promised me home and showers and bed _always_".

"Castle! I didn't expect you to take that so literally".

"Well I did," he pouted at her. And even though she could see that he was messing with her she also saw the desire in his eyes. He really wanted this.

And so did she.

"Isn't it too soon?" She asked hesitantly.

He rolled his eyes at her, mimicking her move perfectly.

"Are you really asking me?"

He immediately noticed the seriousness in her expression and had to force himself to remain calm. She was actually considering this?

"No," he said.

"No?" She tried to hide how upset she felt.

"No, because we already made a decision last night. You said you wanted to go home, and we came here. Hence, this is home. We live here. Both of us".

She stared at him for a moment and he wondered if he'd read her wrong.

But then the most beautiful smile spread across her face, even her eyes were lit with it.

"You're right," she said.

"I am?"

"Yep," she grinned at him and dove toward his chest.

He yelped as her cold nose nuzzled into him.

She mumbled into his chest, "I really am the worst at remembering conversations".

* * *

_AN: Look out for Chapter 34 in the next day or two. I'm wrapping this story up so it may be the final chapter. Or I might go for a nicer sounding 35 chapters if you all persuade me you want an epilogue. Do you?_

_I've started another story "Drunk" and I'd love to know your thoughts._

_As always, please R&R. Happy Holidays!_


	34. Chapter 34

Disclaimer: At this point it almost feels like they belong to me (does that count?).

Chapter Thirty-Four

The guys were surprised to see everything return to normal.

Beckett was already in the precinct when they arrived that morning. A half hour after they'd gotten settled at their desks Castle had sauntered in. He'd placed a coffee on Beckett's desk, given her a small grin, crowed "hello", and dropped into his chair.

It was like every other day and Ryan and Esposito were totally confused. If they hadn't both seen Beckett reject Castle they would have sworn it had never happened.

Esposito shot Lanie a text: _Everything totally normal here. I don't get it._

Lanie was briefly surprised by the text, but then just shook her head in frustration: _Are you really surprised? It's Castle & Beckett. They're the best at deflection and avoidance. _

Esposito showed the text to Ryan and he shrugged. It was true after all.

It wasn't until they broke for lunch that the day took an unexpected turn.

Beckett paused between bites of Chicken Lo Mein and asked, "Hey guys, I was wondering if you were busy this weekend?"

"That depends," Esposito narrowed his eyes at the tone of her voice. He recognized an incoming request and was automatically suspicious, "What do you need us to do?"

"I'm finally moving and I was kinda hoping you guys would help me out?"

"Of course we will!" Ryan said enthusiastically ignoring Esposito's glare.

"_It is so typical of Ryan to sign me up for something without asking me!"_ Esposito fumed for a moment before giving in. Beckett was basically a kid sister and a big sister rolled into one. He allowed her one quick smile, "Sure Beckett".

"I mean, I know it's your weekend off," Kate felt a little bad at imposing even though she knew the payout the guys would get at the end would totally make it worth their while. They just didn't know it yet.

"Did you finally find a nice new apartment to replace that one that you blew up?" Ryan asked letting a smile slip into his voice so Beckett would know he was messing with her.

"Yep," Beckett hid a grin behind her mug of coffee and couldn't help thinking, _"Something like that"._

* * *

Beckett was standing in the middle of her living room surrounded by boxes and she was not happy. She could already feel beads of perspiration dripping down her back even though it was the middle of winter. She got this frustrated every time she moved.

"I hate this!" She groaned as she dropped another box full of books onto her couch. It was already piled with boxes. Someone (Castle of course) had the genius idea that everything from her bedroom should be packaged and placed in her living room before getting moved outside.

She suspected he was hoping that the guys would do most of the grunt work. It was 8:45 in the morning and they weren't due until 9:30. The only reason that Castle was here was because he'd slept over.

The night before he'd insisted that he needed to stay with Kate at her apartment "to christen it". When she insisted that christening was something that happened at the beginning of things rather than the end he just scoffed at her.

She'd briefly wondered if maybe she shouldn't want to be alone…to have one more night in her own apartment as a single woman before moving into the loft. But she hadn't wanted that at all. Apparently she really was ready to live with Castle.

Except she wasn't particularly happy with him right now. Not when she was sweaty and exhausted and frustrated that this stupid move wasn't done already.

She felt the newest box start to slip out of her grasp, "Castle!"

He was immediately beside her, steadying the bottom of the box and helping her position it on top of the precarious pile that littered her couch.

"Hey Beckett?" He sounded a little hesitant, probably because he could tell she wasn't in a good mood.

"What Castle?" She pulled her shirt away from her skin and flapped it a little, wishing that her apartment wasn't totally overheated. At least she wouldn't have to deal with the pathetic radiators and the unhelpful landlord anymore.

The sight of Kate's bare skin briefly distracted Castle. Shaking his head to get rid of those thoughts he continued with his previous one, "I know you hate this, but you know what's awesome?"

"No Castle," she glared at him, hands shifting to her hips, "What's awesome about this?"

"Moving sucks but you'll never, ever have to do it again!"

She just stared at him for a moment, but then she smiled, "Thanks Castle".

He looked confused, "For what?"

"For making things better. Again".

He shrugged, "It's what I'm here for".

Castle stepped closer to her and despite the heat she welcomed his body. As soon as his hands grasped her hips she dropped onto the floor, tugging him on top of her.

"Hmphh," he grunted in surprise as he fell forward.

She lay still for a second, reveling in the feel of his entire body pushing down on hers.

"Shit Beckett, I didn't crush you, did I?"

She chuckled but didn't bother responding. Instead she snaked a hand up and behind his head, yanking him down to meet her mouth.

She was still unbearably hot, but now the heat of her apartment had little to do with it. She groaned into him, tracing his teeth and the roof of his mouth and his tongue with her own.

He moaned back and she felt him harden, pushing insistently at her thigh.

She shifted her body, wriggling beneath him so that their hips were aligned, bucking into him unconsciously.

"Shit Beckett," he mumbled it this time as he lifted his chest off hers just enough to slide a strap of her tank top down.

He took her bra-covered breast in his mouth, sucking furiously as she continued to grind against him.

She was so ready now, so close, and she needed him right away.

She put her arms around his back and pressed him against her, hard, hips perfectly matched and grinding before she forced his hips away.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this hard. It was ridiculous, because he and Kate had slept together more than once now…a lot more than once, actually. But he couldn't remember ever wanting her this much before, being so hard and ready for her before. Maybe it was because he knew this was it. She was moving in with him and they were really, irrevocably together. He needed to be in her. Now.

She fumbled with the snap of his jeans. She really, really needed him.

The sound of the buzzer filled the apartment.

Kate shoved Castle off her as the buzzer rang again.

Shock and lust and desperation filled her eyes, "I better," She swallowed hard quickly checking her ponytail with her hand, "Let the guys in".

She walked to the intercom and unlocked the main door.

Turning back to Castle she took in his disheveled appearance. She'd really done a number with his hair; the product he must have used in it that morning meant that the movements of her hands were easily visible. His jeans were completely unbuttoned and they had a very obvious other problem.

"I think I need to," Castle groaned, gesturing toward the bathroom.

"Yeah," Kate looked at him apologetically.

He walked toward the bathroom stiffly. Why the hell did the boys have to be early? And why had they even asked for their help? He totally would have moved Beckett by himself!

* * *

"Where's Castle?" Ryan looked around Beckett's apartment, taking in the disaster that was her living room. Did they really have to move all this stuff?

"He better be helping," Esposito narrowed his eyes.

Beckett was glad that she was currently standing in front of an open fridge. The blast of cool helped suppress her sudden flush.

She grabbed the pitcher of water and shoved the door shut with her hip, "He's just packing my bathroom stuff up".

The guys joined her in the kitchen, eagerly accepting the glasses of water that she handed to them. They hadn't even started moving things yet, but with their heavy winter coats and the fact that Beckett's apartment was basically a sauna they both needed a drink.

Esposito grinned at that, "Of course he is. That man is a total metrosexual".

Ryan laughed, "He totally is!"

"Say what you will about the man, he knows his products," Beckett laughed with the guys.

She was trying, but God it was difficult with Castle in her bathroom doing…whatever he was doing.

"Those boxes," Kate gestured toward the pile on her couch, "Are all ready to go outside to the moving truck. Do you guys mind starting with those while I go and make sure our writer isn't having too much fun with my beauty products?"

The guys laughed at that, draining their glasses of water before heading back to the living room.

* * *

Even the sound of the boys in Kate's living room couldn't calm him down.

Castle leaned against Beckett's bathroom cabinets—her almost former bathroom cabinets—and glared at himself in the mirror. He needed to get himself under control, and fast.

He tried deep, cleansing breaths but they didn't help.

Nothing could stop the thoughts of Kate from flooding his mind and instead of calming he felt himself grow even harder. Shit, how was that possible?

Giving up he grabbed himself, pumping furiously as he tried to bring himself some relief.

He needed to get out of here before the boys asked what was taking so long.

* * *

Kate sighed in relief as the boys carried the first set of boxes out of her apartment.

She knew they'd be back in the apartment in a couple of minutes, knew that she really didn't have enough time, but she couldn't stop herself.

The second the boys were out of sight Beckett walked toward her bathroom.

It didn't have a lock on the door. Some stupid design flaw that she'd never bothered to fix, because she lived alone and besides it was fairly obvious that if the door was closed it was occupied. Plus, it was through her bedroom, so if anyone ever needed to use it they generally asked permission anyway.

She eased the door open, heat pooling between her thighs at the sight of Castle, bent over and touching himself.

"Castle?" Even though they'd had sex before this seemed so personal that she was almost hesitant to enter the room.

"Kate," he groaned, eyes still closed, panting breaths escaping his chest.

She walked toward him, still a little hesitant, unsure if he was really aware that she was in the room.

His pants and boxers were still around his ankles. He hadn't had the time or the inclination to bother removing them all the way.

"How is this possible?" She asked as she saw how hard he still was.

"Don't. Know." He grunted as he continued to pump himself. It was clearly starting to be painful.

"Okay," She soothed, shoving his hand away and replacing it with her own.

She jumped up on the counter and pulled down her sweatpants and underwear, immediately giving him full access.

He entered her and pumped a few times before exhaling a groan of relief. Finally pleasure was overtaking pain.

She'd been ready for him for a while, well aware of the dampness of her underwear as she'd offered Ryan and Esposito water in her kitchen, but still she was surprised by the suddenness of his movements. Her whole body jerked with a wave of pleasure.

"Beckett?"

Somewhere in the background she heard one of the boys calling her. She was so far gone she couldn't even tell which one it was.

Luckily she was already working her way down from her orgasm and managed to issue a response through the haze. Her voice was shockingly normal, no trace of arousal present, as she answered, "Castle dropped a bottle of perfume and it went everywhere! We had to shut the door so the whole apartment didn't smell, we'll be out in a second".

"Damn you're hot when you lie like that," Castle's groaned into her ear, voice thick with sex.

She swallowed whatever else he might have been planning on saying with her mouth, kissing him breathless as he tensed inside her.

"Kate, I'm—" His words were lost as he climaxed.

Beckett shuddered around him head lolling backwards as she again lost all semblance of thought.

Seconds later he was pulling out of her, wiping himself off, fastening his pants and washing his hands.

"Beckett?" He lifted her off the edge of the counter and onto shaking legs, helping her pull her underwear and sweatpants back up.

"Huh?" She blinked slowly at him, leaning against the counter.

"The boys?" He chuckled as he tucked a sweaty piece of hair back into her ponytail.

"Oh!" Realization dawned in her eyes. "Shit, what are we gonna tell them?"

He chuckled again, "That I broke a perfume bottle and we had to shut the door so it didn't stink up the whole apartment? And that we were in here so long cause we were cleaning up glass".

She nodded at him, "That actually makes sense".

"Yes," he couldn't help but laugh, "If only I'd come up with it".

"What?" She narrowed her eyes and looked at him.

"Never mind," He still squirmed when met with the Beckett glare.

* * *

_AN: You asked for a Chapter 35 and you're going to get it! (Mainly because this story can't possibly end here but also because I love you all)._

_Thanks for the reviews & comments._


	35. Chapter 35

Disclaimer: Unfortunately no.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Beckett leaned heavily against her bedroom wall. Promising that in just a minute or two she'd be heading out to join the guys.

She told herself she was leaning against the wall for a moment so that she could decide what to change into that wouldn't be too noticeable; counting her blessings that she'd forgotten to move her small overnight bag into the living room. The black leather bag, really just an over-sized purse, was still where she had flung it a few nights before, tucked into the shadows behind her bedroom door.

In reality the pause she was taking had more to do with the trembling that was still flooding her system, causing her legs to almost give way as she left the bathroom.

Taking a deep breath Kate willed her legs to behave and walked toward the overnight bag. It was bizarre to think she wouldn't need it anymore. It had been an almost constant presence in the trunk of her Crown Vic since that first night that she and Castle had slept together. After all, she'd let Lanie pack for her once and look how that had turned out.

Okay, actually, she had to admit to herself that it hadn't turned out too badly. She was with Castle, wasn't she? And that yellow sundress had certainly…encouraged…him. But that was beside the point, because the inclusion of one pair of jeans and four sundresses in the middle of winter was still insane, regardless of the seduction that Lanie had been trying to encourage.

She crouched down and dug through the bag, satisfaction flooding her system as her fist closed around a clean pair of underwear. She dropped them on the floor and flung a fresh pair of pants next to them. She nimbly pulled down her sweatpants and squirmed out of her underwear, frowning a little as she stuffed the damp pair into the bag. It would mean washing everything in the bag and since most of it was clean Kate Beckett was not pleased. Laundry was one of those tasks that irritated her to no end. It took too long. Of course, the fact that Castle's loft—their place (she corrected herself instantly)—had a washer and dryer might change all of that. Maybe if she was lucky Castle would do her laundry. She bet he was good at it too. Past bad experiences washing women's clothing had probably trained him well. She doubted that Martha would have suffered through more than one ruined bra. In fact, she stifled a laugh, she doubted Martha would have suffered silently thorough even one ruined bra.

Ryan's nose wrinkled briefly as Beckett exited the bedroom. She suddenly felt incredibly self conscious. She didn't think he was sensing anything overtly sexual (she certainly hoped her arousal wasn't that noticeable), but she was more than a little concerned that he'd pick up on her change in attire. Trust Ryan's fashion sense to ruin her plans.

Luckily he didn't say anything about the fact that her sweatpants had magically changed from a dark grey to a navy blue.

Ryan had a sudden feeling that something was…off…as Beckett exited the bathroom. He glanced at her curiously, but then felt her steady gaze on him and immediately looked away. He didn't want it to appear like he was checking her out or anything. Sure, he knew Beckett was attractive, but he'd never been attracted to her. She was at worst his boss and at best his big sister. Still, there was something different. He wondered briefly what it could be before deciding to drop it for good.

* * *

Castle sighed as he leaned his head against the mirror. The position was starting to get irritatingly familiar.

Even after what had just happened he'd already been gearing up for round two. Something told him that if he and Beckett didn't have the guys to contend with they would have been in her bathroom for most of the afternoon.

But since it was what it was, she'd suggested (not very tentatively) that he might want to take a minute or two alone before joining her in the living room. She didn't want him to give it all away.

So he was taking a breather. Pausing in the bathroom and waiting for her to get dressed. Giving her a few minutes to check her own breath (he sincerely hoped that was a necessity for her as well).

* * *

Esposito came barreling through the door, moving surprisingly quickly for someone wrapped in a down jacket and a ski hat that Beckett suspected was largely Lanie's doing.

He threw himself down on the now empty couch and gave a huff of annoyance.

"Glad to see you helped, Beckett," even though his tone was gruff and he was scowling at her, she could see the twinkle in his eye.

"Hey now" She scowled back, "You try dealing with perfume that an overexcited someone dropped on the floor".

"Overexcited, huh?" Esposito raised an eyebrow at her, immediately making her statement seem far dirtier than she'd intended.

She just rolled her eyes at him.

Ryan, of course, chose that moment to jump in, "Yeah Beckett, what were you doing that caused so much…over-excitement".

Castle chuckled from the doorway, "Way to be subtle".

Ryan just grinned at him, "Not all of us are millionaire authors you know".

Castle chuckled again and merely nodded, posturing as though he accepted his status as fact. Which, of course, it was.

Kate was trying really hard not to make eye contact with Castle. Despite their little tryst in the bathroom, or perhaps because of it, she suddenly had no interest in moving. She really just wanted to stay here and do other…things.

But of course she knew that wasn't happening, so after scanning an eye around her now empty apartment, she quirked an eyebrow and asked, "Should we get this show on the road?"

"Oh good," drawled Esposito, still lounging on her empty couch, "Ryan and I are dying to get to the bar".

"Huh?" Castle looked at him in surprise. He glanced at Beckett and saw his disbelief mirrored on her face.

"Espo," Beckett stated, "We still need to get the stuff unloaded on the other end".

"Oh," Esposito frowned at her, "I figured since we did all the heavy lifting on this end, you and Castle would do the unloading".

She just stared at him.

A sudden grin filled his face, "Jesus Beckett, I'm just messing with you".

"Would we really make you move into a new place by yourself?" Ryan asked rhetorically as Esposito disentangled himself from the couch.

Both the guys simultaneously reached down to grab a corner of the couch, lifting it and beginning to slowly shuffle backwards.

It wasn't until they were already out of the door and in the hallway that Ryan continued, shouting, "Besides, we need to check out your new place! See if it's good enough!"

Knowing the guys were out of sight Castle relaxed, sliding his body behind Kate's and resting his hands on her shoulders. He leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "It better be good enough!"

* * *

Ryan eased into the passenger seat, "Well, that was kind of weird".

"Yeah," Esposito nodded in agreement, "I was picking up on some sort of vibe".

"I can't figure it out though. It's not like before, I mean, something's definitely different. But I can't tell if it's good or bad. In a lot of ways they're acting just like they were before the fight, but something's just…"

"Weird".

"Yeah," Ryan sighed, "Did you update Lanie?"

"Sent her a text while I was waiting for you to get your ass in the car".

"Hey! In case you didn't notice it was really icy out there".

"Afraid of falling?" Esposito openly grinned.

"More like afraid of breaking a bone," Ryan muttered as he crossed his arms and stared out the window at the city rushing by.

* * *

"The trick," Castle chortled (Beckett decided there really wasn't another word for it), "is Lanie".

"Huh?" Her mind had still been distracted by defining the sound coming out of Castle's mouth. Hmmm his mouth. _"Goddamn it Beckett, focus,"_ she reprimanded herself, _"You're a trained homicide detective, not a twelve year old"._

"I was talking," Castle rolled his eyes at her, and Beckett couldn't help but feel a flash of annoyance because it felt just a little like he was mocking her, "about Lanie".

"What about Lanie?" Curiosity got the better of her and her momentary anger disappeared.

"Didn't you notice that Esposito whipped out his phone as soon as he got in the car? Probably texting our darling M.E.."

Kate didn't want to admit that she'd been too excited over the prospect of moving in with Castle, of knowing she was now really with Castle, to focus on her surroundings. Some cop she was.

"_It was surprising too,"_ she let her mind wander as Castle rambled on beside her; tuning him out wasn't exactly a new-found skill. She'd been hyper-vigilant for days, the ebb and flow of her PTSD forcing her into heightened reactions. But somehow the joy of moving in with Richard Castle had momentarily quieted them. She didn't think for a second that they were gone for good. She knew better and she really wasn't expecting some magic cure. Still, she'd walked outside her apartment and followed Castle to the car and not once had she glanced furtively around her. She wondered if that was progress or stupidity. Deciding it was probably both she refocused her attention on the original cause of her distraction.

"…because the surprise is going to be totally ruined!" He ended with his voice pitched high, childlike annoyance flooding his tone.

"What?"

"Beckett?" He immediately calmed down and glanced toward her, concern flooding his features. He promptly returned his attention to the road, but slid one hand off the wheel and onto her thigh, gently squeezing it as he asked softly, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," because really nothing was.

He sounded hesitant, "Okay".

"Really Castle, I just," She blushed and was relieved to see his focus was on the traffic around him, "I'm thinking about moving in with you".

He still sounded hesitant, "Good thoughts?"

"Definitely," she placed her hand over his, entwining their fingers and sighing in contentment.

"Okay," he said softly.

She let her eyes drift shut.

Moments later they flew open again at his excited shout, "Here!"

They'd reached the halfway point.

* * *

Ryan got out of the car and looked around, totally confused by the fact that they didn't appear to be in front of an apartment building.

"Dude," Esposito questioned Castle as soon as he opened his car door, "I thought we were following you to Beckett's new apartment?"

"Yeah well," Castle shrugged, "It's basically lunchtime and I thought to thank you all for helping with the move I'd buy you lunch".

"But," Ryan looked puzzled, "It's not even your move".

"Dude!" Esposito interrupted before Castle could respond to that, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." He paused and craned his neck toward the restaurant, "Nice choice. Barrio Chino has awesome margaritas".

Castle grinned, "And feel free to drink them. I figured we'd leave your car here and I'd drive us all the rest of the way. There isn't going to be a lot of parking at Beckett's new place".

That technically wasn't a lie. Street parking was tight near the loft which was one of the main reasons it came equipped with a parking garage.

Ryan looked puzzled, craning his neck, "Isn't this basically your street?"

Castle shook his head, totally straight-faced, "Don't doubt the awesome margaritas. Plus, it's not really out of our way".

Ryan shrugged and followed Esposito toward the restaurant.

Castle hung back and met Kate's glance.

"What? It's not!".

* * *

Content after the large amount of food they'd consumed, Ryan and Esposito allowed themselves to be shepherded into the moving van. Castle had purposefully rented one with four seats since driving everyone to the apartment had been their plan all along.

They shouldn't have been surprised by Ryan's question, but they were anyway.

"You're letting Castle drive?"

"Yeah well," Beckett desperately tried to think of a reasonable lie, "I told him he could drive if he paid for the moving van". She finished with a smirk.

"Seems reasonable to me," Esposito chimed in.

They continued in relative silence for a while, the sounds of the city filling the car. It wasn't an awkward silence at all. They were all comfortable enough around each other to accept it for what it was: a brief reprieve in conversation.

Castle pulled the moving van in front of his apartment building, ensuring that he met his doorman's eye.

"Dude," Esposito sniggered at Castle, "I think you drove to the wrong place by mistake".

"Geez, Castle," Ryan added, "Maybe this is why Beckett doesn't let you drive".

Castle didn't say a word, just exited the van and headed toward the loft.

Beckett exited the car as well, and without giving the guys a second glance she followed Castle.

They sat for a moment, frozen in their seats.

"Welll," Ryan said tentatively, "That was weird".

Esposito shrugged, opening his door and unbuckling his seat-belt, "Guess we'd better see what this is all about".

He had to control the urge to draw his gun as he trailed after his friends.

* * *

_AN: Thanks for your patience in updates! I know they haven't been at my normal speed, but I'm hoping that will resume now that the holidays are over._

_Also, don't fear, in case it isn't obvious this is not the final chapter._

_Hope you all had a Happy New Year!_


	36. Chapter 36

Disclaimer: 'Castle' is (sadly) in no way, shape or form my property.

_Previously on 'Down the Road':_

_Castle pulled the moving van in front of his apartment building, ensuring that he met his doorman's eye._

_"Dude," Esposito sniggered at Castle, "I think you drove to the wrong place by mistake"._

_"Geez, Castle," Ryan added, "Maybe this is why Beckett doesn't let you drive"._

_Castle didn't say a word, just exited the van and headed toward the loft. __Beckett exited the car as well, and without giving the guys a second glance she followed Castle. __They sat for a moment, frozen in their seats._

_"Welll," Ryan said tentatively, "That was weird"._

_Esposito shrugged, opening his door and unbuckling his seat-belt, "Guess we'd better see what this is all about"._

_He had to control the urge to draw his gun as he trailed after his friends._

Chapter Thirty-Six

Castle would have liked to imagine that it was his (and Beckett's) speed and agility that allowed them to reach the loft before the guys, but that would have been a lie. The fact that they reached his apartment's front door ahead of Ryan and Esposito was more likely due to the look of shock that had been etched on both of the guys' faces.

Castle grinned triumphantly at Beckett as she rounded the corner seconds after he'd unlocked the door.

"And what are you smiling about?" Beckett raised an eyebrow at him, almost perfectly mimicking Castle's typical roguish attitude.

"You," he said simply as he walked toward her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

He bent down and kissed her softly, before leaning back, arms still clasped at her hips, "Just you being you".

"Sappy much?" She complained, even as she grinned back at him.

He yanked himself away from his contentment to focus on the issue at hand.

"How do we want to play this next part?"

She shrugged, "Well, I kind of assumed that at this point the guys would find out about us".

"Beckett!" He pulled away from her and gesticulated wildly, "You're just going to tell them? That is in no way exciting! Don't you want this to be any fun?"

She laughed, "Right, I forgot that this whole thing was for your own personal enjoyment".

He scowled and said with a whine, "Well, it should be".

She laughed again. Then she walked through the loft's main door, making sure to sway her hips as she went. That had always worked as a good distraction tactic in the past.

"Becketttt," he groaned, head titled slightly sideways as he watched her performance.

She didn't reply, just flung herself onto his couch, kicking off her shoes.

He didn't even get a chance to enter his own loft before the guys arrived at the front door.

Esposito rounded the corner first with Ryan right behind him. Both of them froze in the doorway, eyes darting between Beckett and Castle. They'd both made assumptions in the minutes it had taken them to get from the van to the loft, but they didn't have any idea if those assumptions were accurate.

"_And,"_ Esposito thought to himself, _"If what I'm thinking is true when the hell did it happen? Cause last I checked they didn't even like each other"._

Castle walked into the apartment and both Ryan and Esposito trailed in after him.

As Castle shut the front door, Kate casually sat up and looked towards her boys, "So do you guys want a drink or something before we get started?"

Ryan just stared at her, completely flummoxed. But understanding dawned on Esposito's face.

"Seriously!" Kate huffed with an annoyance that she didn't feel, "I thought we were over this and that you'd agreed to help".

"But…" Ryan started before trailing off. His eyes shifted around the loft.

Kate couldn't help but pause for a moment because his flustered state was a little…adorable. Huh. That really was the only word for it.

Castle just grinned from the barstool where he'd perched. He didn't speak. Keeping silent normally caused him a lot of discomfort, and the only reason he typically did so was when he was trying to do someone a favor. Beckett largely suspected that for once silence was causing him a lot of pleasure. He was getting a kick out of watching the guys' flounder.

Kate decided that her current tactics were working fine, and that they were also in some bizarre way fulfilling Castle's desire for this to be "fun", so she continued using the voice that she usually used at the precinct when she needed to make them snap to attention and get things done: "Are you guys helping me move or not?" She glared at them.

They tentatively looked at each other, before Ryan piped up apologetically, "Yeah, Beckett, sorry, we just—"

Kate interrupted him, "Apologies are unnecessary. Let's just get this show on the road before it's pitch black outside".

"Sure Beckett," Esposito said calmly.

He was a lot more comfortable with the situation because he was pretty sure he'd figured out what was going on. It didn't hurt that he knew the whole thing was driving Ryan crazy.

Despite Ryan's confusion, Esposito's amusement and Castle's high distractibility they finished moving Kate's boxes into the loft fairly quickly.

Kate was also fairly confident that Esposito hadn't had time to text Lanie. Mainly because she knew that if Lanie had the slightest idea about what was going on she'd have barged into the loft long ago.

* * *

Castle said goodbye to the guys as quickly as possible while trying to be moderately polite. After all, they had just lugged Kate's belongings into and out of the elevator. Esposito gave him a saucy grin as he tugged Ryan behind him into the hall.

As Castle swung the door shut he heard Ryan stage whisper, "Did Beckett just move in with Castle?"

* * *

Letting out a huff of relief, Kate flopped backwards on Castle's couch. It was fast becoming one of her favorite spaces in the loft. She admitted to herself, with almost no trace of embarrassment, that Castle's bedroom was her favorite area. But the couch came in second…not, she berated herself, because they'd had sex there (which, okay, they had) but because she could just relax there and watch the activity of the loft rotate around her. Mornings spent curled up on that couch let her watch Alexis' morning routine and greet Martha when she finally came home. Plus Castle seemed unable to resist cuddling up next to her whenever he caught her sitting there.

It was silly really, but that couch made the loft feel like a home. More importantly, it made her feel as though she was home. As though this was her family. She hadn't had a family like this in a long time. Sure she'd lived with her dad for a while after her mom had died, but something had always been missing. This casual relaxation, the simple joy of being completely at ease around the Castles', was new and a little uncomfortable, while at the same time being the best decision she could have made.

Castle smiled as he exited the kitchen and caught sight of Kate leaning against the arm of his _("No,"_ he corrected, _"their"_) couch. The smile slipped off his face as he saw hers. Her face was blank and she was staring into nothing.

"Kate?" He asked softly as he sat down next to her. He was suddenly really worried that they'd been moving too fast, that he'd forced this move on her somehow. He sincerely hoped that she didn't regret it.

"Hmm?" She turned and looked at him, her face as emotionless as her voice.

He was even more concerned by her minimal reaction.

He head-butted her, nudging her shoulder to try and get her attention.

Castle felt a wave of relief when she responded, gracing his with a small smile as she jokingly berated him, "Castle! Are you a man or a goat?"

"Honestly Beckett," he grumbled unable to even attempt to hide his grin, "You know the answer to that. You've seen me naked".

She chuckled at his bluntness before they dropped into silence again.

"Seriously Kate, are you okay?" Castle asked again after a few minutes.

"Yeah," she whispered, exhaling softly.

"Really?" He spun her slightly while simultaneously turning his own body…he wanted to be face to face for this conversation.

She looked surprised.

"Really. Why?"

She crinkled her nose slightly in confusion and he had to work hard to suppress the urge to kiss her puzzlement away.

He shrugged, "Just…you're different somehow…I don't know. Like when you just said you were okay, it wasn't a very Beckett answer. It was…God Kate, I don't know how to explain this better, you'd think I wasn't a writer," he chuckled a tad sardonically, "I just need to know that you're okay. That we're okay".

"I'm not okay," she said slowly, shaking her head and meeting his gaze.

He felt his breath catch in his chest, but then she continued:

"I'm more than okay. Castle, I'm…happy".

She said it so softly he almost didn't catch it, was sure he'd misheard.

"Happy?"

She laughed, "Yeah. Happy!"

He laughed back at her, "Jesus Beckett, no need to be so morose about it! You do know the definition of the word 'happy', right?"

She rolled her eyes and shoved his chest, pushing him hard enough that he landed on his back on the couch with a wheeze of surprise.

"You seem to really like me on my back Beckett," he said saucily.

"Mmm," she licked her lips as she gazed down at him, mainly because she knew it drove him crazy.

She was right if the sudden tightness of his pants was any indication.

Kate placed one hand on each of his shoulders, leaning forward and provocatively brushing her body up and down his. Castle was unable to control himself, whimpering each time her body rubbed his crotch.

"Kate," he groaned, his eyes begging her to just touch him already.

His hands had found their way to her sides, and he was stroking every part of her that he could find, sliding his hands under her shirt to touch her back.

The second she heard Castle beg she gave in, sinking down on him and grinding against him. It was no fun teasing him when she was being teased just as mercilessly.

Kate swallowed his moan with her mouth, kissing him deeply.

She'd never been so relieved that they were alone in her life. She'd have to thank Alexis later for joining so many clubs, remind the girl that motivation was always a good thing.

And in this case Kate Beckett was highly motivated.

"Castle, pants, now," she panted parting her lips from his just long enough to get the words out.

He lifted her off him with one hand as he struggled to get his pants down.

She whined at being separated from him, moaning in relief when he succeeded in yanking down his pants and sliding into her.

They had just started to establish a rhythm when they heard the doorbell.

"Ignore it," Castle insisted, thrusting into her.

"No problem," Kate grinned for a moment before rotating her hips in a way she knew drove him wild.

He countered with his thumb, touching her exactly where she wanted.

Their competitive give and take only increased during sex.

The doorbell rang again.

"Fuck," Kate exhaled in annoyance.

"Kinda doing that Kate," Castle raised an eyebrow at her without breaking his stride.

She laughed at his response, her amusement distracting her just long enough for his sudden thrust to take her by surprise.

Her orgasm flooded her senses. Her head was thrown back and her eyes closed as she continued to ride him, slower now, her movement controlled by his hands on her hips.

Their front door swung open.

* * *

"Castle?"

He froze when he heard his name, ignoring Kate's whimper as he stilled her hips.

"Shit," he whispered as he pulled Kate on top of him, grabbing a blanket off the back of the couch and throwing it over their naked bodies.

He glanced down at Kate as he heard the footsteps approach. Her head was resting on his chest, her eyes still glazed, pupils dilated.

"Hey Castle".

He stroked a hand down Kate's back, his movement hidden by the blanket.

He calmly looked up at Lanie.

She was looking down at them with a huge know-it-all grin on her face.

"Hi Lanie," he chuckled, grinning back at her.

"Lanie?" Kate's head snapped up in surprise. Castle tightened his hold on her to stop her from rolling over and exposing them both.

"Castle," Kate grunted in annoyance, tilting her head at an awkward angle to try and see if her best friend was really in the room. She really, really hoped that if Lanie was there she'd arrived after…the main attraction.

"Hey girl," Lanie said, laughter evident in her voice.

"Shit," Kate groaned, burrowing her head into Castle's chest in embarrassment.

"Lanie?" Castle still sounded incredibly calm, and Kate was a little annoyed that he wasn't more embarrassed. She really hoped this didn't mean that he'd been walked in on during sex so many times that it no longer meant anything to him. Though, she supposed, his mother was his mother so it was possible—

Castle's voice distracted her thoughts, "Lanie, why don't you go out in the hall for a second. Let us pull ourselves together, then you're welcome to come back in".

"Sure," Lanie grinned, "Go ahead and…pull yourselves together".

She laughed again, the sound only slightly masked by the slam of the front door.

* * *

Kate groaned into Castle's chest. He chuckled and sat up, lifting her into his lap.

"Come on Kate," he gestured toward the floor, "I think your clothes are over there".

"Castle," she groaned again as she glanced at their clothes scattered all over the floor, "Could we be more obvious?"

"Kate, I somehow think the clothes were the least of our problems. Us on the couch? Naked? Kind of a dead giveaway".

"Yeah, yeah," she hopped up and started to dress.

He watched her, head tilted slightly to the side, distracted by his detective.

"Castle!" She threw his shirt at him, hitting him in the face.

* * *

"Okay, Lanie," Beckett said hesitantly as she opened the door to the loft, "You can come in".

She met her friend's gaze defiantly, threatening her to say anything about what she'd just walked in on.

Of course, Lanie wasn't one to go down without a fight.

"Sooo…" Lanie began, "I see the rumor that you've moved in with Castle may be real".

"Yeah," Kate admitted.

"And you're not," Lanie continued with a smirk, "'just roommates' as Ryan suggested".

"He what?" Kate exclaimed in surprise, before finally smiling at her friend, "No. Not just roommates".

"Yesss, I saw that".

"Lanie!" Kate crossed her arms and glared at Lanie.

Lanie just laughed and strode past Kate, walking into the kitchen and sitting down on a barstool. She thought that, for the time being, it was a better choice than the living room.

Kate followed her wondering belatedly where Castle had gone.

"Wait!" Kate realized something suddenly. "How did you get into the apartment?"

"Oh, that," Lanie looked slightly apologetic, "Castle gave me a key".

"Why would he do that?"

"When he told me he needed a copy of your key "for emergencies" I told him someone should have a copy of his key as well. He wanted to give it to you, but since you didn't know he had yours…and he thought you would overreact to the gesture…he gave it to me instead".

Kate nodded slowly, that actually made sense.

"He also thought that if anything important was happening you'd let me know. And then I could give you the key. Of course," Lanie glared at Beckett, "it seems you don't always tell me important things".

Kate opened her mouth but was interrupted before she'd even said a word.

"And don't you dare tell me this isn't important!"

"No," Kate shook her head, "It is important".

"Woah!"

"What?" Kate looked puzzled at being interrupted again.

"You just admitted I'm right! You…Kate Beckett…just admitted that I'm right!"

"Shut upp," Kate rolled her eyes at Lanie, "All I'm saying is yes, I'm with Castle, and I'm happy".

A soft smile graced Lanie's face, "I'm glad Kate. Really".

Almost as though he'd been listening (which he probably had been) Castle chose that moment to enter the kitchen.

"Hey Lanie," he greeted the M.E. again.

"Hey Castle," she grinned back at the author, pleased that she hadn't seen anything she'd have to work hard to forget.

"Are you staying, Lanie?"

"Nah," she shook her head, "I have a date".

Lanie stood up and prepared to leave the loft.

"Maybe you can come over for dinner sometime next week?" Kate suggested, tentatively looking at Castle since this was the first time she'd invited anyone over. He just grinned at her happily.

"Sure, that'd be good," Lanie walked toward the front door spinning on her heel and pointing at Castle, "You take care of my girl, you hear?"

The grin didn't leave his face, "Not a problem," he promised.

Lanie nodded. She didn't think it would be.

"Bye guys!"

The front door closed behind her, the noise reverberating around the now silent apartment.

Beckett and Castle turned and looked at each other.

"Now what?"

~FIN~

* * *

_AN: I just wanted to thank all of you again for your lovely comments. This is the first thing I've ever written. At four months and over 85,000 words I can confidently admit that I would not have done it without you guys._

_In particular I'd liked to thank FanFicFan39, Tony7323, renegade05, jennkyle, CastleCrazie, & fbobs for commenting on almost every chapter. _

_Of course, the rest of you are marvelous too. Thank you!_


End file.
